13 replies to this topic

[SSingh96]

Vaheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa
Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh

Well im 16 years old, and brought up in a sikh family but not a family that strictly follows rehat no one in my family has ever ate meat, drank or smoked but they dont wake up at amrit vela and jap naam.

Recently I have started to fall in love with sikhi a lot more and my amrit vela is getting stronger day by day.

However I am facing problems from my parents as they believe weird stuff like im apparently not meant to have ishnaan on tuesdays and thursdays because its meant to not make me become succesful. However I still have been doing for the past year but my dad does not know
as I have ishnaan do amritvela and tie my kesh in to a keski and he doesnt know i have had an ishnaan.

Another problem i am facing is that my parents dont allow me to wear bana and they want me to tie a sidhi dastar like triangular and say they are not going to let me stay in the house if i tie a dumalla and wear bana
One day I asked if I could order a kirpan off the internet and my dad got so mad and start saying the days are changing people have guns you dont need a kirpan get on with your studies.

Also I asked if i could take amrit and my dad said In a Loud Loud Voice "NO" amrit is not necessary as Guru Nanak Dev Jee did not take it i try and explain and he just gets mad and angry.

Waheguru Jee Can someone please help

Daas |

[VanHelsingh]

I applaud you for getting on-track with your Sikhi, especially at an age where there's many other distractions for youngsters.

In terms of your problem I won't offer you any advice that will increase the tensions at home. You don't need your parents as enemies. Also it seems they have some misconceptions about Sikhi which are unfortunate.

What I will say is bide your time. Keep your amritvela and try to reach a compromise whereby you say "Okay I'll tie that triangular style dastar and I'll wear "normal" clothes". They'll think its a victory for them but you have to realise that aside from leaving home there isn't much you can do at this age. Do you want to leave home, lol? Just asking.

I can easily say "You confront them, you fight for your rights" etc., but realistically you want them to ultimately like and admire you as you are in Sikhi saroop and not turn away in disgust whenever they see you.

So like I said, bide your time until you get a bit older, play by their rules but keep your Sikhi strong on all fronts. Then I suppose there's nothing left for you to move out one day so you can start wearing your bana and dumalla, and begin to practice your Sikhi in peace without this constant fear of being caught (which is utter madness because you aren't doing anything wrong!)

Good luck.

[_singhni_]

If you feel ready to wear kirpan in order to prepare for amrith in future do ardas from your heart and then just start wearing kirpan. If you can't order 1 online due to credit card issues etc ask a gursikh to get you one. Just wear your kirpan your folk won't do anything. Its the power of ardas. Dhas wore kirpan "gupt" for about a year before amrith and folk didn't even realise and when they found out they were ok cs dhass had shown sikhi pyare. Point been show your folk through your actions your serious about your Sikhi jeevan. Same goes for dastar if you truly want to wear goll dastar just go for it but do ardas first . Clock moolmant, simran, any additional bani you know just clock it. It helps loads. Little one your not alone most of us have gone through similar stuff to what your going through just remember if you take 1 step Mahraji takes thousands and thousands akaaal

[SSingh96]

Thanks for the answers really appreciate but just dont understand why he is being like this he says people are going to think that a Jatt Boy has turned into a nihang and then when i say there is no such thing as a jatt he gets mad and like starts saying pack you bags and leave now i dont care And then i say tying a gol dastar does not turn you into a nihang and i mean he goes crazy " You trying to teach me" ETC
Recentley he hasnt let me attend rehansbhais etc as he feels im turning into a "Big sikh" as he calls it :/
I just feel that when I wear bana Its hard to explain it just makes me feel blessed to be born into a sikh family but I dont like hiding it for example he sometimes stays up till like 3 just to make sure i dont have ishnaan on tuesdays and thursdays but i still do then he proper questions me

And starts saying if your going to do this then you are not going to be staying in my house and then I feel bad like what will I do if he does kick me out but my bibi jee is 100% with me she is amritdhari but when she tells my dad my dad goes he is not your son he is my son then my bibi gets sad like we look after him etc we feed him.

He has now recentley taken my ipod off of me so i cant listen to kirtan even though i have laptop when ever i play kirtan he takes the internet router off and gives me a lecture and tells me to study even though i do study and so for with maharajs kirpa my marks are good

But im just confused why he is angry its not if im doing anything wrong :'/

[_singhni_]

Little brother talk a older gursikh you might know..or even talk to your bibi je. Shell know what to advice you. For now keep gupt. Don't talk back to your dad just keep your thoughts gupt from him. If he says something just nod. If his staying awake on purpose till 3am then have ishaana @ 3.30am (when his a asleep). If he don't let you listen to kirtan then start a gupt moolmantar jaap:) the power of moolmantar is amazing. Take Hukhumnama; ask Guru je for guidance. If you don't know any older singhs maybe create a account here& talk with some of the more older singhs here. Keep strong these are ALL tests to strengthen you.

[chatanga]

Also I asked if i could take amrit and my dad said In a Loud Loud Voice "NO" amrit is not necessary as Guru Nanak Dev Jee did not take it i try and explain and he just gets mad and angry.

Your dad is worng as Guru Nanak Dev Ji did take amrit. He took it form Waheguru himslef, when Guru Ji crossed Bein Nadi and went into the jungle, and Waheguru appeared to Guru JI and told him to drink this Amrit, and take the message of Gurbani to the world.

[SSingh96]

Waheguru jee i know very little gatka as they used to teach it at the local gurdwara but now the comitee has stopped it as it is "Dangerous" pfft
But im willing to learn i know the basics i know how to use chakar and shastar but not to a great extent