4 replies to this topic

[samosasingh]

I have been thinking is kes and baana really all that needed for regular householders?

Wasn't the idea to have a distinct look and do great things - which is what really the Khalsa did, they worked for Sarbat Da Bhalla.

Aren't we as regular householders the same as any old person with the same desires and wants and running after the same things and the same probleme in our homes - but we have a pug on.

I wonder sometimes if we are just holding on to this Bana thing and have made it everything and have lost the essence of being good human beings.

We put up with being different whever we go and have to put up with funny looks and comments, but for what?We are all just trying to make a living and pass our lives like the next guy - so why wear the turban when we are just regular gristee's after the same old stuff as the next guy.

Wasn't the distinct dress supposed to men a higher way of life where you are working for the good of people and not just rtying to pay off your mortgage before you get your first heart attack?

I sometimes think that the mona's are better people than us because they are not showing one thing and doing something else.....which is a real problem we have.

Am I missing something......................lets discuss brothers and sisters

[Sherdil]

I have been thinking is kes and baana really all that needed for regular householders?

We keep kes because we accept the Hukam of God. Our hair grows long because it's meant to. This is God's will.

Wasn't the idea to have a distinct look and do great things - which is what really the Khalsa did, they worked for Sarbat Da Bhalla.

We are still supposed to work for Sarbhat Da Bhalla. That hasn't changed.

Aren't we as regular householders the same as any old person with the same desires and wants and running after the same things and the same probleme in our homes - but we have a pug on.

Nah...you're falling into the trap of Maya. There is more to life than eating, drinking, sleeping, working, paying your mortgage, and then dying. This human life is a precious gift. No other species on this earth has our intelligence. We have the ability to realize our oneness with God. If all you worry about is how to pay your mortgage, then you are no better than the animals in the jungle. All they worry about is finding their next meal, finding a shelter to sleep, finding a mate, and then they die. Try to think outside the box. Remove yourself from the cycle of birth and death.

I wonder sometimes if we are just holding on to this Bana thing and have made it everything and have lost the essence of being good human beings.

Bana isn't everything. Wearing it doesn't automatically make you a good person. You have to be gurmukh inside and out.

We put up with being different whever we go and have to put up with funny looks and comments, but for what?We are all just trying to make a living and pass our lives like the next guy - so why wear the turban when we are just regular gristee's after the same old stuff as the next guy.

The funny looks and comments are from people who don't know who we are. They are the ignorant minority. They are probably uneducated and uncultured. Who cares what they think? What about the people that salute us with Sardar ji? You've never been treated like a VIP just because you wear a turban? You've never had someone come up to you and want to know more about who you are?

I sometimes think that the mona's are better people than us because they are not showing one thing and doing something else.....which is a real problem we have.

Bro, I think you need to speak for yourself on that one. The rest of us don't have a problem.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

I agree 100% with samosasingh. It seems so pointless to be distinct when we're after the same things degrees, careers, money as normal, worldly ppl and stuck in maya along with them. But I think instead of changing our bana we need to change our attitude and have a more unique attitude like accept bhana, be more thankful, try to remember vaheguru as much as we can. I really respect the tapobani singhs because they take distinctness and uniqueness to another level. Their motto is everything about us our food, clothes, thinking, lifestyle, should be different than the worldly ppl. Their bibek rehit ensures this distinctness. ...

[VanHelsingh]

The rehat from within is so very difficult to attain and live by. Some spend their entire lives attempting to fight the 5 vices and get their inner-self under control. That's why - in my opinion - many Sikhs start with the external appearance almost as a way of motivating their inner self to catch up!

My personal opinion (and therefore most likely incorrect ) is that some Sikhs entering adulthood - and discovering the associated responsibilities of this period of life - find it difficult to reconcile the concept of a modern grisht jeevan with the traditional, austere elements of a Gursikhi lifestyle, i.e. having a wife and children, providing for them and loving them BUT not becoming attached to them so that your Sikhi suffers (Moh), is the most basic one to begin with.

What I'm about to say might be controversial so I'm forewarning any brothers and sisters about to read on. Taking the example above, the reason I think Sikhs from the past were able to lead a grisht jeevan BUT also be highly spiritual and almost detached from the ways of the world despite being married is because of the low demand placed on them by their spouse and their families. If a modern-day Sikh serious about his jeevan tries to emulate the ways of the great Gursikhs of the past he'll be accused of neglecting his wife and kids, or being a cold-hearted so-and-so. Then he'll have his in-laws chiming in with their demands, etc.

These days there are so many disparate forces vying for our attention that once we get caught in the web of grishti, I've seen and heard of many wonderfully strong young Gursikhs who have let their spirituality fall by their wayside as they simply don't know how to juggle the demands of marriage and their love for their spiritual way of life. There are so many external forces pulling them in every direction they just cannot cope.

I'm beginning to realise why Gursikhs tell us we should aim to find a wife - from a guy's perspective - that has a jeevan which is either the same or very similar. Why? Because not only will she NOT dissuade her husband from his spiritual journey but she'll join him on that journey! She understands what her husband is trying to achieve, and she also wishes the same for herself.

If you've been raised a certain way and then you are paired with a wife who has been bred to desire the expansive and expensive houses, the ostentatious cars and "the lifestyle" to go along with these signs of apparent prosperity, then there ain't a chance in hell for you're going to be able to live that spiritual Gursikh lifestyle. You will spend most, if not all, of your efforts and your life trying to maintain that standard of living for the rest of your days. The same concept applies to my sisters who wish to pursue Gursikhi to it's fullest extent after marriage, before anyone thinks I'm taking sides!

[samosasingh]

Some very nice points from all three of you.

I do agree - post marriage it really becomes a balancing act and this pressure of making enough money and providing and that in a society that prefers you to not look so different does take its toll. In the end there maybe a few sikhs who have made it big, but the majority who are distinct are basically on the lower level.

Maybe these are the claws of maya....I am not sure, but I doo feel differently about life as time goes on.