veerji for what u used to turn red with fear?

Veerji I had some photos of baba deep singh ji & mai bhago in my house.
These photos used to fear me.
Also, I was always in search of people who could fight with me.
Nevertheless, every thing has been under control.Guru ji has blessed me a lot.Year before, I used to watch porn, now I don't.
The thing is we need to go on the path without our own self(ego).
Mahakaal will bestow his blessings on us.

I'm doing paath since I was 10.Even 7 years after, I fully could not control my vices but I feel they have reduced.
I used to turn red with fear when I used to see some photos of gurus.Now I don't.
Singh this path is not so easy to move but with guru ji's grace you'll get the confidence to move on.  
 

veerji for what u used to turn red with fear?

I'm doing paath since I was 10.Even 7 years after, I fully could not control my vices but I feel they have reduced.
I used to turn red with fear when I used to see some photos of gurus.Now I don't.
Singh this path is not so easy to move but with guru ji's grace you'll get the confidence to move on.  
 

If you are trying to figure out god and his reasons /limits, then you have not been listening to parth or choose not to listen, dont try to figure him out or you will go crazy , our mind can not!!, Just accept his will and live under hukam 

I now feel more relaxed and not stressed and I have decided to leave it all to waheguru. I just want waheguru to help me, protect me, support me and guide me to the right path. I really have so much faith in waheguru and believe in him. I know his going to help me. I just want him to always be with me. I used always question waheguru but now I feel I am closer to him and have more faith in him.

Nanak Naam Chardi Kala Tere Bhane Sarbat Da Bhala

Yes waheguru does exist..when i was a child without knowing what god is n what paath can bring to life i started doing paath..then aftrr few years i started feeling whatever comes to mind by remembering waheguru that comes out to be true.my faith on waheguru never dwindled..as all other human beings..bahut sariyaan wishes ne jo purian nhin hoyiaan..es gall ch waheguru da taan koi kasoor nhin..he has blessed us with so many things but we just forget his blessings n count sorrows..we should keep doing Paath ..he listens to our prayers n keep the faith alive..waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

bhaaji waheguru g hmesha apne naal ne. waheguru g hi ne jo sb nu dekh rae ne. dukh kisnu nahi? nanak dukhia sb sansaar. pr dukh dur krne ne ta apne aap nu waheguru g nu samarpit krna pena. apa apne aap nu waheguru g nu samarpit krange n waheguru g te bhrosa rakhange ta e oh apa nu ewe da bnange jo hr situation ch vdia feel kre. bhaaji thodi life ch jo hr roj ho rea hai o waheguru g da magic e hai. bhrosa rakho, dukh ande ne ta sirf apa nu strong bnan lae.. mai v tuhade wang problem ch ha, but i know dat waheguru g is wid me, n waheguru g meri jrur help krnge.. ho skda jo mai chahnda ha o na howe, bt im sure k waheguru g jo v krnge mere lae vdia hi krnge..

waheguru g ka khalsa

waheguru g ki fteh..

Dearest -singh_ jee,

Your problem is starting from you thinking that if you do paaath every morning, God must do something magical for you. So you keep doing paath after paath after paath and nothing is happening, like a failed chemistry experiment in the laboratory! Now that is making you think that there is no God and even if He is, He cannot do some things like kill himself or etc etc..the list you mentioned.

However in SGGS it says ''gurbanee es jag meh chanan, karam vasei man aayeh'' i.e Gurbani is Light in this world. This means gurbani is meant to make you understand things so you begin to understand God and the universe and why things happen and how God operates. By doing paath with understanding this is the real miracle because it will make us understand God, have a bigger belief, faith and trust in God and make us love God. Gurbani throws light on the existence of God and His Laws. If you want to understand God better, so your faith and love for God will deepen buy a gutka which has english or punjabee translations so as you do paath you are knowing what is being said by Gurujee.

So for example you know Guru Nanak Dev Jee is not a liar at all and Gurujee in the beginning of Japjee Sahib has said IK OANGKAR which means there IS one God who is present everywhere. So if you do not know what IK OANGKAR means you will keep saying it every morning but not knowing it means there IS one God. Then your heart can be deceived to think there is no God. But if you know IK OANGKAR means Gurujee is saying there IS one God than you do believe Gurujee and everymorning your faith is affirmed that there IS one God. I hope you understand what I mean. It is just a small example.

Also Sikhism is also not about understanding things just intellectually. In Sikhism , Gurujee/God himself helps you to understand things as you have a close relationship with Gurujee who is your Teacher and Guide and Master. So in time you will understand that yes God can do whatever He wants BUT he is eternal and undying and not killing Himself does not mean there are some things He cannot do but rather means it is God's intrinsic nature to be everlasting. For example your mother could technically kill you, but you dont think of that or question that because all you can see in your mother is a desire to love you and protect you at the cost of your life. Hence as you get close to God and understand God your mind starts thinking of His qualities rather than some loose un-needed imaginations about what are not his qualities.

So, its a play of your mind. Your mind can churn out countless fantasies about someone and all sorts of crazy ideas about someone and whether they exist and etc. However if that person became your wife or sister you would not doubt they exist and you would switch off from thinking of them in certain ways, and focus o thinking of them in the correct way.

So my advice is to be a true Sikh who understands Sikhi and God with a heart well loaded with faith in God, rather than worry about God trying to kill Himself tonight, be humble and rather question the direction of your thoughts. Accept SGGS as your true living Guru and everyday read gurbanee slowly with meanings so you start to know what to look at, what to really think about and then everything will be alright for you.

baba ji haige ne.. mainu puch k dekho.. i had the most difficult time in my life..and baba ji ne sara kuch theek karta c. bharosa rakho. sab theek hoju