What Age Do You Want To Get Married?

[Guest Singh]

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I was just wondering if everyone could share what age they would like to get married. Obviously its all in hukam but what would you like? I would like to here from both males and females. I am a Singh and to be honest if I get blessings of Guru Sahib I want to ask my parents to start looking around half way through my final year of uni (around 20/21) so I can be married soon after graduating. I personally feel thats its quite ironic people have started getting married later in recent times, when nowadays the temptation to do wrong is probably even more than before! I'd say its now more than ever that its more dangerous to get married later (well thats my thoughts at this time anyway). My own feelings are that I think I need marriage as an extra barrier alongside my paath to keep my mind under check, after all its something that Guru Sahib has given to us for a reason.

So please reply, with your gender and what age you would like to either start looking or get married by. I'm just curious to see if I'm in the minority in my thoughts or if its something others have thought about to.

Thanks.

[TuhiNirankar]

I have red sumwhere that the singh is to be older then the singhni,

So even like the singh being 4 years older-- guys mature later? i duno

its not common at all to see a singh the age 20-21 get married

the youngest iv seen is singhs 24 yrs old and the singhnis they marry are 21

[Guest ooooh]

marriage is hard hard work.

anyone who thinks that life after marriage will be amazing 24/7 is seriously deluded..its not easy from either end and i think that people nowadays are too eager to get married..they often dont realise or arent ready for the hard work, responsibility and even headache that marriage brings.

im not saying marriage is all negative and bad, but i think that a lot of people today arent mature enough to handle the responsibility and cannot compromise to the necessary degree.

some people will be mature enough and ready to get married at 21/22 whereas others will need a few more years. its different for eveyone.

personally, the idea of marriage kinda freaks me out atm so im just gonna say "a few years down the line"

[REDRUM]

Everything is in waheguru's order, if waheguru wills then you will get an opportunity to get married. Then it will be up to you to choose if you want to get married to that person or not.

I personally don't want to get married the reason is that if you weigh up the positives with the negatives the negatives easily out weigh the positives.

(If there are any positives lol)

Anyway the ages in the previous posts to get married are really early compared to my cousins when they got married. Majority of my cousins got married when they were 29-33 years old.

[Guest singh]

thanks for your replies guys, I know there must be alot of effort in marriage, but still, I think the ravaaj of later marriage is not that great. And to redrum, I respect your views but I don't see how somethig our own Guru gave us and practiced in nearly all of his human forms can be negative. I would certainly say the positives outweigh the negatives, having a 24/7 sangat is what I like the most.

any more thoughts?

[Singh559]

After I get into medical school, but i've never really thought about this.

[REDRUM]

All I will say is first get married then come back online after a couple of years to tell me if marriage has made your life more dukhi or sukhi compared to before marriage lol.

Your want to get married is only a phase (normally lasts between the age of 20-30) and won't last. You think you want to be with someone and share your life with someone special but this urge is caused by the separation from your true husband (waheguru). But it is maya that makes you deluded and makes you think that this urge will go away once your married but NO. Rather jap naam and you'll see how this urge to get married is just a delusion or mirage to confuse you further. Think that your already married to waheguru. I know what I am saying is hard to follow but it is true and by not marrying you'll save yourself from many future HEADACHES lol

[Guest lotls]

Redrum, it's wonderful that you have such a cynical view of marriage and all the best for your future without any headaches. This attitude might suit you, but living according to the Gristhi way of life is different. It comes with responsibilities and an obligation not only to your family but to Guru Sahib. For women especially this is the chance and honour of producing future Khalsas who can support the weight of the world with their Bhagti. Yes this involves sacrifice on the part of the mother - namely a life dedicated to Sikhi and the education (both spiritual and material) of her children, and no doubt many headaches. However some people are prepared to make that sacrifice for the future generation. With any luck they'll grow up to think that the urge to find a partner for Sangat and continuation of Sikhi is just a delusion and mirage to confuse us further.

My point is this. If you don't want to get married and think it's all a waste of time, then fair enough. Hopefully your spirituality will flourish regardless of this. But don't underestimate the urge to get married without taking time to understand the deeper significance behind it. Live and let live.

[Guest gupt]

Anyways I want to get married when I am 28 and have children when I am 30 because it suits my profession and lifestyle. If I married when I was 22 I would spend my time thinking of marriage, kids etc instead of getting myself on the career ladder and considering we can freeze eggs and other things I don't think it will make too much of a difference.

[REDRUM]

"For women especially this is the chance and honour of producing future Khalsas who can support the weight of the world with their Bhagti"

This is WRONG. DO you think your mum can make a khalsa or do you think waheguru makes a khalsa. It is nobodies responsibility to make a khalsa apart from waheguru. There is no doubt khalsa can be made without marriage or without a mother....

I'm not sure what your def of khalsa is but if you mean just taking amrit that is not khalsa... Khalsa is one that is without veekar, is pure, conquered 5 evils etc. That can only done by waheguru alone and no mother can do this unless she is a brahmgiani....

"continuation of Sikhi is just a delusion and mirage to confuse us further"

Don't think that a women will continue sikhi it is all in waheguru's hands. Thinking this way causes you to forget that waheguru is doing everything and not a person.

Sorry if my response is too blunt but it had to be said...