15 replies to this topic

[MokhamSingh]

WJKK WJKF

Guru pyareho,

Please help me I am 21 years old and my addiction to kaam and p**n is taking me away from sikhi. My mind is constantly filled with sexual thoughts.

Please tell me shabads from SGGS I can recite to get rid of these thoughts. (as many as possible)
and provide more tips on how to concentrate on sikhi.

Thank you

KhalsaJi

In addition to your Nitnem please spend at least 45 minutes reciting Mool Mantar. Also Naam Simran will subdue unsavoury thoughts.
WJKK WJKF

[TigerStyleZ]

Hey whats up,

here i found a post some unknown wrote:
"Paji,
trust me - watching porn is in no way right! This is a problem of our socialisation - of your surrondings - I started watching porn in young age - 10.11? I don´t knew anything about Sikhi - I just had Kesh - I lived in a state where hardly you will find any Gursikhs ( German) - The problem was mobbing etc - altough I am strong - It somehow hurt my feelings - so I tried to flee - I revealed "porn"(I am still sorry abou - because over the years it became "addiction") the dopamine eject was what I needed - To feel happier etc.. "friends" told me to realease some pressure with porn(They said it is the greatest thing ever). But then due Maharaj kirpa I revealed Sikhi (I don´t found good Sangat, but I revealed it for myself) Then I started asking myself - WHY the hell I am doing this? I excessively masturbated 5-7 x or more a day? I was depressive. I was tired all day - and I had really really bad mood - my errection were soft and weak - and it hurted. I had no selfconfidence - masturbation - weakens you mentaly. This go on for 6 years... Until I revealed Sikhi 1 year ago - and questioned myself - I am a product of the sexual industry - a victim. I started seeing women as "Sex objects" - and then the real <banned word filter activated> happend... This is a long story...

So do you see the point? Do you see what happens? You are leeched out - there is no grain of spirituality in you - you can get maladjusted, see women in totally wrong way - ruin your life - In the end it is very hard to forget this all - these dirty things - but if you try to forget - you will. Why do you want to ruin your life with porns? Fake sex .. etc? If you get addicted - or you feel the urge to watch more - it is over - this <banned word filter activated> will take control over you - if you are weak - yes I am weak /was weak. It is waste of time - and you only get problems due it - there is nothing good in it - and it is very hard to get rid of all this ... I was really sufferin - until Guru ji blessed me - with his Shabads about Kaam - Krodh - Lobh - Moh they are all involved with each other.. I really had physical and mentally problems - I just did it that excecively that I not even feel something of my genitals - It totally ruined my life - in all ways.
Be aware of it - I know you have pressure but do your best to get rid of these. Now it got that far that I decided to live alone my whole life - I dont want to marry - I don´t want to expect somebody "


I think thats enough to stay away from porn. I know it is hard to control - but you have too instead of watching porn hit yourself i stomach or make some sports. If you kaam is overcoming too ask yourself a math question - The problem is the longer you think about it the more paapi you will get. The first bad thought can lead to porn- first of all searching web use adblock, for chrome or firefox - second if you get thoughts of nude women or whatever immediately try to think on other things. Porn is not good - Once if you don´t manage to control yourself , don´t be afraid - just keep on going. and try harder - Never give up.

Any other questions or problems PM me - I can help you. Always remember IF YOU HAVE THE WILL you can do ANYTHING!

Remember if you get married , be a man and tell the women that you did such things - don´t left her in lies and marry in lies.



HOW TO GET RID of all this

Masturbation is not safe

It makes you weak. it can lead to both physical and physiological imbalances. Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.
The side effects of such changes to the body include:

• Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
• Lower back pain
• Stress / Anxiety
• Thinning hair / Hair Loss
• Soft / Weak Erection
• Premature Ejaculation
• Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
• Groin / Testicular Pain
• Peyronie's disease
• Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone

Self-Control Guidance for Masturbation



This is copied from some website and this is useful method and Sikhism encourage those things which help others so salute to that man who wrote the following suggestions:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
6. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
7. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read Gurbani. You can read Japji Sahib, Suhmani Sahib, Anand Sahib, above anything else in the Guru Granth Sahib can be helpful because of the uplifting qualities.
8. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. keep it out of your mind!
The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
Suggestions

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out lout when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eating several of them as you do the act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan never gives up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
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1. Wisdom (gyan) : is the complete knowledge of a set of religious principles. It can be achieved by hearing good, thinking good and doing good. A man of wisdom tries to achieve a high moral standard in his life and interaction with others. According to Sikhism, the first steps to wisdom is to consider oneself as an ignorant person who has to learn a lot in life.
2. Truthful Living (sat) : This is more than 'truth'. It means living according to the way of God i.e. the thoughts should match the words that a person speaks and his actions should also match his words. Truthful living brings a person closer to God.
3. Justice (niaon) : means freedom and equal opportunities for all. Respect for the rights of others and strict absence of attempts to exploit a fellow being. Sikhism forbids the desire to loot another's property. It also strictly instructs the Sikhs to show respect even for the women and children of an enemy.
4. Temperance (santokh) : means self control which has to be developed through meditation and prayers. A Sikh has to banish evil thoughts from his mind by constantly repeating Gods name and reciting prayers. Torture to the body to develop self-control is not advocated in Sikhism
5. Patience (dhiraj) : implies a high level of tolerance and empathy for others. It requires control over ones ego and willingness to overlook another's weakness or mistakes. It requires that a Sikh should be strong willed, but kind hearted.
6. Courage (himmat) : means bravery i.e. absence of fear. It is the ability to stake ones life for ones convictions and for saving others from injustice or cruelty.
7. Humility (namarta) : is a deliberate denial of pleasure at one's own praise and admiration. It means underplaying ones own strengths and respecting the abilities of others. It is the antidote to 'ahankar'
8. Contentment (sabar) : means refraining from worldly fears and submitting oneself to the will of God. The typical worldly fears can be fear of death, poverty, disrespect and defeat. It is this virtue that has given the Sikhs the moral strength to withstand the various atrocities committed on their community in the last three centuries.
at gurus time, Guru gobind singh said abt sikhs -
ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥
ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥
जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥
अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥
By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and
also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities;
by their kindness the clusters on sins have been destroyed and
by their kindness my house is full of wealth and materials;

What are you giving to gurus know blady kaam, krofh lobh moh & hankaar. How can u think that guru is with you. If you leave all this then guru says
o sahib main us daa chela

lets bid before god and ask sorry to him -
“O my Master. I am silly, save me, 0 my Lord-God!
Thy slave’s praise in thine own glory!” (AG, 166)




Waheguru ji ka khalsa , Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

[TigerStyleZ]

No! Reciting alone isn´t enough you need to conteemplate and understand . Just reciting all the time wouldn´t help you. You need to realize, what you are doing, and why you are doing this. Interalise!


It is one of the greatest evils that tempts people away from God. It makes an individual weak-willed and unreliable. The normal sexual relationship of house-holders (a married couple) is not restricted in any way in Sikhism. But sex outside of marriage or sex forced against the will of ones partner is taboo, as it can cause unlimited sorrows. ਸ੝ਣਿ ਸ੝ਣਿ ਕਾਮ ਗਹੇਲੀਝ ਕਿਆ ਚਲਹਿ ਬਾਹ ਲ੝ਡਾਇ ॥ सढ़णि सढ़णि काम गहेलीझ किआ चलहि बाह लढ़डाइ ॥ sun sun kaam gahaylee-ay ki-aa chaleh baah ludaa-ay. Listen, listen, Oh, soul-bride: you are overtaken by sexual desire-why do you walk like that, swinging your arms in joy? (Page 37, Line 18) Guru Amar Das) ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੝ਰਾ ਅੰਧ੝ਲੇ ਨਾਮ੝ ਨ ਚਿਤਿ ॥ अहिनिसि कामि विआपिआ वणजारिआ मितढ़रा अंधढ़ले नामढ़ न चिति ॥ ahinis kaam vi-aapi-aa vanjaari-aa mitraa anDhulay naam na chit. Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire, O my merchant friend, and your consciousness is blind to the Naam. (Guru Nanak Dev page 75 line 16) ਉਛਲਿਆ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕਾਲ ਮਤਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਉ ਆਨਿ ਸਕਤਿ ਗਲਿ ਬਾਂਧਿਆ ॥੨॥ उछलिआ कामढ़ काल मति लागी तउ आनि सकति गलि बांधिआ ॥२॥ uchhli-aa kaam kaal mat laagee ta-o aan sakat gal baaNDhi-aa. You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti's power. ||2|| (Bhagat Baini page 93 line 7) ਅਵਰ ਮਰਤ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨ੝ ਤੋਲੇ ਤਉ ਭਗ ਮ੝ਖਿ ਜਨਮ੝ ਵਿਗੋਇਆ ॥੩॥ अवर मरत माइआ मनढ़ तोले तउ भग मढ़खि जनमढ़ विगोइआ ॥३॥ avar marat maa-i-aa man tolay ta-o bhag mukh janam vigo-i-aa. When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind; you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual organs. ||3|| (Devotee Baini page 93 line 10) Your eyebrows are like a bow, from which the arrows of lust are coming out and striking us like the dagger Dasam Granth Page 703, Line 1
WATCHING PORN

Sikhs should not watch porn. these things keep you away from not only spiritual life but also effect your normal life. These makes you masturbative and you will loose your virginity all this falls under part of kam. You are watching for internal pleasure. This is banned for sikhs.
Actually the buisnessmans of porn know that Kaam(lust) is the main evil which is in every human being they take support of this evil and makes you kami. They earn money through kam And can destroy your life through it.
ਤੀਜੈ ਝਾਖ ਝਖਾਇਆ ਚਉਥੈ ਭੋਰ੝ ਭਇਆ ॥
तीजै झाख झखाइआ चउथै भोरढ़ भइआ ॥
teejai jhaakh jhakhaa-i-aa cha-uthai bhor bha-i-aa.
In the third, they babble nonsense, and when the fourth
watch comes, the day of death has arrived.
Guru Arjan Page 43 line 12)

ਅਗਿਆਨ ਮਤੀ ਅੰਧੇਰ੝ ਹੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਪਿਰ ਦੇਖੇ ਭ੝ਖ ਨ ਜਾਇ ॥
अगिआन मती अंधेरढ़ है बिनढ़ पिर देखे भढ़ख न जाइ ॥
agi-aan matee anDhayr hai bin pir daykhay bhukh na jaa-ay.
In the darkness of intellectual ignorance, she cannot
see her Husband, and her hunger does not depart.
Guru amardas page 38 line 5

Bura dekhan main chalea (kabir)

Ranna hoyian bodhian purash hoye sinyaar
(Kuriyan nu dikhan da shonk te pursh nu wekhan daa)

Many things are written in guru granth sahib regarding this. If you don't have self control go towards guru granth sahib and do ardas from the depth of your heart. Waheguru will definitely show you the way.


ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥
ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥
जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥
अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥
By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and
also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities;
by their kindness the clusters on sins have been destroyed and
by their kindness my house is full of wealth and materials;

“O my Master. I am silly, save me, 0 my Lord-God!
Thy slave’s praise in thine own glory!” (AG, 166)

ਕਾਮ੝ ਕ੝ਰੋਧ੝ ਕਾਇਆ ਕਉ ਗਾਲੈ ॥ ਜਿਉ ਕੰਚਨ ਸੋਹਾਗਾ ਢਾਲੈ ॥

Kĝm kroḝẖ kĝ­i­ĝ ka­o gĝlai. Ji­o kancẖan sohĝgĝ dẖĝlai.
Lust and wrath wastes the body away, as borax melts gold. sggs page 932

[tuhintuhin]

waheguru ji...

you can keep reciting these two panktis all the time....

ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਅਰੁ ਲੋਭ ਮੋਹ ਬਿਨਸਿ ਜਾਇ ਅਹੰਮੇਵ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਸਰਣਾਗਤੀ ਕਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦੁ ਗੁਰਦੇਵ ॥੧॥

or

ਸੋਰਠਿ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥

ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਲੋਭ ਝੂਠ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਇਨ ਤੇ ਆਪਿ ਛਡਾਵਹੁ ॥
ਇਹ ਭੀਤਰ ਤੇ ਇਨ ਕਉ ਡਾਰਹੁ ਆਪਨ ਨਿਕਟਿ ਬੁਲਾਵਹੁ ॥੧॥
ਅਪੁਨੀ ਬਿਧਿ ਆਪਿ ਜਨਾਵਹੁ ॥
ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮੰਗਲ ਗਾਵਹੁ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਬਿਸਰੁ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਬਹੂ ਹੀਏ ਤੇ ਇਹ ਬਿਧਿ ਮਨ ਮਹਿ ਪਾਵਹੁ ॥
ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਭੇਟਿਓ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਕਤਹਿ ਨ ਧਾਵਹੁ ॥੨॥੩॥੩੧॥

[jaskaransingh12]

http://www.sikhsanga...931#entry539931