21 replies to this topic

[DaljitKaur24]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh,

Sangat ji first i would like to say if a topic like this has been posted before plz guide me to that. Thanks.

So lately i have been wondering what is Sikhi's take on a divorce? I know that we are not supposed to. But im wondering is there in any event those rules can be changed in order to get a divorce and will Guru ji be unhappy with that decision? In what circumstances can a divorce take place in Sikhism without being punished by guru ji? Is the individual allowed to get married again?

Plz im only looking for serious answers and this topic is not a joke for me.

[manvimattu]

Personal experience every fate is written by Guru Jee. Sometimes you try everything possilbe, to make it works, for some it will not work for others it will. I think the most cases of breakdown is usually around 35 and up. Thinking about Divorce in Aanand karj Does seem wierd and not right but that is probably something new for the Sikhs to think. I personally believe there should not be any divorce but It took me ten years to move on. This mid life crisis is not a pleasent time for a couple. I say Midlife crisis comes to everyone some make it some break it.

[Gurukameet]

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ka Fateh

In what circumstances can a divorce take place in Sikhism without being punished by guru ji?

If you are really suffering badly violence and abuse and your safety is compromised then you should leave. You will be forgiven by Guru ji and supported, anything else, just get on with it and don't think about marriage, get on with living your life.

[singhgurj]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh,

Sangat ji first i would like to say if a topic like this has been posted before plz guide me to that. Thanks.

So lately i have been wondering what is Sikhi's take on a divorce? I know that we are not supposed to. But im wondering is there in any event those rules can be changed in order to get a divorce and will Guru ji be unhappy with that decision? In what circumstances can a divorce take place in Sikhism without being punished by guru ji? Is the individual allowed to get married again?

Plz im only looking for serious answers and this topic is not a joke for me.

Since the marriage was under the ageis of SGGS Ji then it stands to reason that when things go pear shaped both parties should seek guidance from SGGS Ji. The person who walks out without taking shelter from Gurbani can be considered to be wrong. The party that wants to keep the marriage intact with Guru Ji's help will have Guru Ji on their side.

Apologies in advance for anything that causes offence.

[Harpreet1]

I agree when you marry in Gurujis presence then why is divorce on paper alone. Why not go back to the Gurdwara and agree it there or have some sort of agreement there..... or argument lol.

[_singhni_]

Sis approach a older gursikh about this issue as most of us on here probably aren't married. By approaching a older gursikh you'll get the advice and guidance you probably need.

[DaljitKaur24]

Thank you everyone for the reply. The reason i dont want to talk to an older gursikh is that i have already tried and received the same response. They all say do paath and guru ji will do kirpa. What i dont understand is that why is our society still stuck at the fact the girl should bow down and do as the husband says? Why is it only the wives duty to obey everytime? Sometimes i just feel those who have been raised or been born in the western world should not marry someone from India. No matter what the issue personalities and thinking clashes. I was very open minded about marrying someone from India but i didnt realize that we would be so opposite. And yes i do feel at some point i do act more western than indian in certain situations or matters but is that a crime if i grew up in the US and lived around only "white" people up till the age of 16? I have bowed down and looked for answers from guru ji all the time and especially now that i have been married but i feel i am disappointed each time. My parents have always taught me that you only get married once and i have always believed that too and thats why i keep trying to fix this marriage even though it feels like were on the edge of the cliff now.

[DaljitKaur24]

Personal experience every fate is written by Guru Jee. Sometimes you try everything possilbe, to make it works, for some it will not work for others it will. I think the most cases of breakdown is usually around 35 and up. Thinking about Divorce in Aanand karj Does seem wierd and not right but that is probably something new for the Sikhs to think. I personally believe there should not be any divorce but It took me ten years to move on. This mid life crisis is not a pleasent time for a couple. I say Midlife crisis comes to everyone some make it some break it.

Well i just turned 24 and i feel like i have been through pretty much everything that an older couple goes through!

[_singhni_]

Talk to a older gursikh british born has they'll be more understanding. Or contact kaurageous. They probably have singhnees who can help you more or least will guide you better. Sis your 24 you've been through a lot; I know the feeling of been through more than most people even in their later years. See it as a blessing as everything makes you stronger (hard to believe at times I know)

[N30S1NGH]

I don't know the full situation but i will still try to suggest. Both of you guys- need to agree to "recommit on anand karaj vows" sort of do fresh start and follow through it. When i meant recommit the anand karaj vows, i don't mean do the whole ceremony again in the gurdwara but recommit to vows privately with witness of sargun saroop of sri guru granth sahib or nirgun saroop of shabad guru (all pervading vahiguroo)

Once both partners agrees to recommit on anand karaj vows, they should both equally forget the past and start over as one and walk on guru's path. If both partner does not recommit to anand karaj vows and forget the past equally then i m sorry - it's best to go on separate paths, take that as your karam and move on and never look back...the people we meet, get into relationship, love, hate, like, dislike its all part of our karam (be it good or bad). Anand karaj updesh to both partners as one - is nothing to do with this "western idea of feminism - equality" nor its to do with this "eastern idea of patti paremsvar relationship". It's about partners start looking at the bigger picture, rise above from fruit of karam- credit, check and balances of (who did what and deserve credit), each other egos and equally as one jot to walk on path of dharam and meditate on Vahiguroo(true husband), serve Vahiguroo beloveds-saints and be in sadh sangat of them.

If you don't have kids, use that blessing in disguise (i am not against kids - i have 2 of them), but the point is - both partners must sort out their lives , be on same page - anand karaj vows before having kids and making it even more complicated.!!