Recently I've been questioning religion. I've been studying other cultures and religions for the past 15 weeks or so and have been having different thoughts about it.
Its always a good idea to have a fair bit of knowledge about one's own culture/history/religion/philosophy before researching others. I am NOT saying its a requirement, its alright if you don't, just saying that at times it might just help you not get confused or start questioning or doubting your own faith without an apparent reason (I am not saying your reasons are irrelevant).
All I see is corruption in the world.
You're right veer, there is so much of it all around us and it comes with a package of additional hypocrisy, so much so that we can't really blame anyone for questioning or doubting so many of the pristine jewels of Sikhi we're blessed with.
I've been studying some crazy religions... I just can't have myself following a religion. Most of these religions claim to be right and true. Which one can be true. I've been exposed to so many religions how can I dare myself to choose?!
Veer, this is just my personal opinion, but the word religion has more than one definition. Sikhi is a Panth, its more than a religion. I personally like to call it a developmental and progressive journey of the soul towards Vaheguru. You know why we grow hair? Because the keyword here is "GROWTH". We grow towards Vaheguru, we develop and progress through various stages and phases of spirituality before we get there. Sikhi is a journey, Vaheguru is the destination. Whatever you see as religion is actually the much needed package that you carry throughout this journey. So I'd say, don't worry too much about it, and also don't trash it either. Just know that its something you need on this path and make sure to enjoy it as you travel. Again, just my opinion. I'd strongly suggest you to recite more Gurbani and try to understand the meanings of what Guru Sahib says in there.
I don't want to call myself Sikh because I don't believe in a religion. A group. I feel like this group divides me and gives me assumptions from others. I don't want to call myself anything.
Veer, how do you define Sikh? Gurbani defines Sikh in many ways. You think you're not different? You ARE different veer! And you know why? And do you know how? You're not different in the sense that you're higher or lower than anyone. You're different because your appearance is of someone who has been chosen and appointed to serve humanity. And it doesn't divide you from people, in fact it is the easiest way to connect you with them because they know instantly the moment they see you that this guy can help me out, he won't cheat me. You carry a massive responsibility on your shoulders Veer, the responsibility to bring glory to your Sikh appearance. Of course you belong to a group. You belong to a group that is always ready to put itself in the line of fire when any other group is suffering. You are from a group that doesn't put down any group. You are blessed! If others make assumptions about you, either they are uninformed about Sikhi, or they are unfortunate enough to make those assumptions. Don't stress about such people, rather take on the responsibility to actually educate them about what you stand for. Its a matter of time that those who you saw divided will unite with you, and those who make assumptions will respect you for who and what you are.
I want to have the ability to have my own morals and principles.
Veer, are we perfect? Are we free from mistakes? Have we reached a level when we can invent our own morals and principles? If yes, then more power to you. If no, then why take the risk of following something that could change tomorrow and hurt you? Why not follow something that is infallible? You know what makes Gurbani priceless compared to all the other modern day philosophies by all these so-called modern day thinkers? I can't comprehend all the reasons, but the major reason I can fathom is that Gurbani was uttered, recited, practiced and preached at the cost of life. The Guru Sahibaan and Shaheeds did not waiver, rather sacrificed their lives. Guru Sahib refused to change even a single word, i.e. refused to change "mittee Musalmaan ki" to "mittee bey-imaan ki" and then attained Shaheedi. This is just one reason why Gurbani is priceless. Can you or me say the same about our own self-manufactured morals and principles which we might as well modify as soon as next week?
I've argued with my parents a bit trying to explain myself but our language barrier and their love for sikhi is unbreakable. What I don't understand is how my dad cuts and shaves his beard but expects me to praise the pagh and dhari. My whole family is like this.. the parents shave and dont follow the religion yet expect the kids to be good souls. My parents even sometimes offer me meat.. I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND how they can do this and call themselves sikh. I know they aren't amrit but still. I hate meat but on occasion I do eat it being honest.
Relax Veer, don't judge them. They are your parents, love, honor, respect and serve them as a good son. None of us are perfectly following the path of Sikhi, they are the same. I know it seems hypocritical when someone shaves and asks you to be a good Sikh, maybe that is the "corruption" you were referring to? Relax, it happens. People, including parents and friends, do advise to do stuff they don't do at all themselves. Its human nature for the most part. I am glad that you realize what is right and what is not, and would urge you to listen to your soul, no, not your mind, your soul. Listen to your soul and follow Guru Sahib's Hukam.
I have a dhari and do trim.. Is it wrong that I don't feel regret anymore?
Veer, the fact that you're asking means deep down you do feel that there is something not right about trimming. Isn't it? Do we ever question ourselves "I took a shower, did I do something wrong?", or "I brushed my teeth, have I made a mistake?". But since you're questioning the trimming part, it means deep down your consciousness already realizes that its something you shouldn't do. I am not talking about those who shave and trim and don't care, I am talking about you here.
My views are kinda-of like Bhagat Singh in his last years.
Veer, don't fall for the Bollywood theory on Shaheed-E-Azam Sardar Bhagat Singh. He had hair 6 inches long and was refused the opportunity to become Amritdhari which he wished for. He changed after he spoke to Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh jee. Sardar Bhagat Singh was NOT cleanshaven when he became a martyr.
All I see is corruption in other religions why must I be abide to even follow one. I cannot be religious anymore. I don't need religion anymore. I have great morals thanks to Sikhism and love this religion to death.
Veer, question to you, with all due respect, but aren't you contradicting yourself over here? You don't like religion and you love Sikhi (which you call a religion) to death? So let me try to understand, you love the philosophy and history of Sikhi, but not the concept of religion as per whatever definition you've come across? Am I right?
If God can accept where I am coming from then I praise him. If not.. Im sorry.
Veer, Guru Sahib accepts everyone anyways. He even loves the worst sinners. The question is, do you want to accept His grace in your life?
Trust me Veer, we're not asking you to live your life the way we live ours. At the end of the day, its your own personal relationship with Guru Sahib, it has its own flavor, its own fragrance, its own color and its own shades. No one can and no one should interfere in it. But since you've posted here, we can only make mere attempts to share our thoughts with you. By no means am I trying to lecture, so please forgive me if anything I said was offensive or you didn't like it.
bhul chuk maaf
- Mehtab Singh