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Why Do All Marriages Between Sikh Women And Non-Sikh Men End In Divorce?


Guest kalyug times
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  • 2 months later...

'If you guys do not make it haram for a punjaban of Sikh family background to date a non-sikh and live in that lifestyle then it will become the norm and you will see a further dilution and destruction of the once strong proud vibrant upstanding Sikh community. Why are all western societies in disarray? Cos of feminist extremists!!!! Give them an inch and they take a mile and the result is marriage, sex, demographic numbers of your community on their terms and not on the terms of how civilisation has survived since it was founded 10,000 years ago.'


'We as a human society are facing deep problems due to feminist extremists undermining each community they belong to and their infiltration into media and politics. If you guys cant see it then your fools' (Aman kaur1867)

I wish you had posted this one at least 10 years ago! Look at the state of sikh community now? Sikh boys marrying muslim girls and vice versa. Sikh people have a huge problem now. Their girls are targetted for grooming because of the ignorance that breeds in their community which remains deliberately unchecked for long periods of time. Also, the fact their failure to listen to others when someone tries to point out something very important to them.

Yes, no denying, there is gender equality in this religion. There is no doubt about it. This does not mean that men and women have become so equal that their roles have now become totally undefined and confusing, does it? How many sikh men can carry a baby full term or breast feed? How many sikh men are housewives(househusbands) How many sikh men can change a baby's nappy, bottle feed a baby or even cook a nice dinner for the whole family? When it comes to playing these roles they look towards a woman's direction. On the other hand, how many sikh women can impregnate a woman? How many sikh women do we see digging up the garden to plant a tree or a shrub? Have you ever seen sikh women electricians, construction workers or window cleaners in the west anywhere? Most sikh women are still doings jobs that are considered women's jobs! How many sikh women can change a bulb let alone repair a fuse at home. How many sikh women can check the tyre pressure on even carry bricks on their backs from the boot of a car?

There is gender equality in terms of spirituality because in the times of our Gurus women were not allowed to become priests and mullahs. They were treated as social pariahs! The Sikh Gurus introduced a concept of equal status for both genders, a concept which was never heard of in those days by either hindus or the muslim rulers. Our Gurus stopped the vile customs of widow burning and wearing of full facial veils that pervaded everywhere in the Indian society in those days.

There is equality but at the same time we are suppose to celebrate each others' differences without ridiculing them.

Sikh men need to wake up to what is happening in their society. They are losing a huge proportion of vital component that is needed for the progress of their faith and community. They are losing it to another religion because of their stupidity. They need to respect and LOVE their women.

Why can't sikh boys socialise with sikh girls when they are at school and become long term friends. Why can't they protect their girls when they are growing up and vulnerable to all kinds of exploitation? What if they were living in the Punjab? Who would their first love be? Who would they be associating with most of the times at schools or at universities? How come the older generations did not marry non sikhs or came to be groomed or converted? They have to pass on their strenghts to their children and not let their children run wild. They need to put their their newly accumulated wealth on one side and take notice of their boys and girls for once. Sending them off to universities and brainwashing them into becoming doctors, lawyers, engineers and accountants is of no use if at the end of the they simply don't know who they are. Loosing and not standing by their sikh identity and the responsibilities it entails is no progress! We educate ourselves for our advancement and not for our demise. Great accumulations of weath and social/professional staus is all temporary and we don't take it with us. What helps us in our journey here and beyond is our thoughts, words and actions.

Why are you blaming the law and the media for destroying the sikh community? Where does the law say that it is against the law of England to stick to your sikhi asools? Where does it say in the law books now every citizen of GB should surrender their ethnic and religious identies and convert, sleep around to their hearts content and do everything under the sun which your previous ethic and religious identities prohibited you from doing? If you don't conform you will suffer the harshest punishment (s) the law can deliver?

I have never seen anything negative about the sikh faith in the media either!! I have not seen any documentaries to this effect. So where is this blame culture coming from?

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Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh,

My view is simple , ALL our kids need to be brought up with LOVE and made to feel being a sikh is as natural as breathing ... the only way that is going to happen is you show understanding and PREM to the youths who are going to be the next generation of Sikh parents , especially the girls I think Parents need to know their duties to their kids in terms of passing on Sikhi if they are ill-equipped for the job through life circumstances they should be made aware of programs, video courses available online . Heck, They can sit with the kids and learn alongside them, talk about it together.

Guru Gobind SIngh ji respected parents who never scolded and abused their kids so much ... are we saying we cannot manage to keep our krodh/ahankar in check and acknowledge sadde 'ch bahut kammian han as humans and try to change to his worldview?

Christians say 'the family that prays together stays together' I Think they have a point ...even if we start small we can action this, bacche love to please their parents and their Guru why not use this to help them get used to nam japna by the time they hit their twenties think how much nam kamai they would have earned ....

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Bhul Chuk Maf for my sexist comment but there is an element of truth of what I am going to say.

Why do many oriental girls prefer to marry White men? It is largely because women marry for status, they generally like to marry for higher status. A lot of these Sikh women who would marry out of the religion because they feel they would be getting a higher status by bagging a white guy.

There has been a concerted effort by areas in the media, particularly the Gurinder Chadha types to encourage this type of thing, by manipulating the young impressionable Sikh girls. There is a great push for our community to be

seen as oppressive and patriarchal by certain areas of the media, this makes our impressionable girls think that certain behaviours acceptable.

As long as our girls are sexually available for other communities and our culture can be defined by the confines of the White Western narrative,

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Guest Karndeep

I am an amritdhari, darstar-wearing Sikh girl who tries to practice Sikhi to the best of my ability. I go to Gurdwara, I do my nitnem everyday, I do seva as much as I can. I want to marry a Sikh. Does he have to be Punjabi? NO. Are you going to attack me for that? Probably.

The reason is because all of you are Punjabi (just like me), but have the backwards thinking that all Punjabis are raised with. We think that we are better than everybody. This makes no sense to me because our religion teaches love and acceptance to everyone, regardless of class, sex, race, or social status. Why is it that we think we are so much better than ppl who aren't Punjabi? I could marry a Sikh who just happens to be white and my relatives would probably have a cow. This is straight up racism (you don't have to be white to be racist!); people aren't going to be better for your daughters just because they have roots in India. There are good and bad people everywhere, but we automatically refuse to see the good in someone we deem is wholly bad.

I brought this up with my dad a few weeks back. I asked him how he would react if I hypothetically brought home a Japanese Gursikh. He would have the views that I have about religion, he would know how to do nitnem, have a stable career, and he would be a good person, thus fitting into all of their criteria. My dad refused to let me marry him. Why? Because he isn't Punjabi. What a load of crap. He said to never bring up a situation like this again. He said that this guy could be the greatest person in the world, but he would always see him as an outsider, not a son.

A few questions for everyone: why are "Sikhs" being so narrow-minded toward non-Punjabis? Why isn't it ever seen as "bad" when a Sikh/Punjabi boy marries outside of race/religion? Why is it that girls ONCE AGAIN draw the short straw? I thought we preached equality...

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Guest Singh

My question to this writer is why do Amritdhari Distar Wala Families to some precent end up in divorce? Before you asking the silly question of yours.

This disease of Divorce can happen to anyone.

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  • 3 months later...

I agree with the original poster I have not come across one successful long term marriage between a Indian sikh woman and non sikh man. And when I talk of long term I mean over 15-20years.

I recently joined a social network site where everyone is allowed on and the majority of the non-pracitising sikh women I've talked to on there were married to non-sikh atheist/christian white guys and now divorced. One girl who got pregnant by a muslim guy and now wanted to find a sikh guy but none are willing to even date her knowing she was with a muslim let alone having his kids. Another got pregnant out of wedlock with a jamacian guy who used to beat her up and rape also after grooming her with sweet talk,etc. Another Sikh woman married to an white irish man divorced after 2 years because he used to beat her domestic abuse common after getting drunk. Another sikh woman I talked to married her atheist white uni boyfriend and he cheated on her with several white women and now he living with a white girlfriend expecting a baby while she is on dating websites frustrated with guys treating her as a sex object and with contempt cos of her past.

Now these women werent naive they knew neither their religion or community would be happy but they were arrogant they fought against waheguru's wishes for them for being blessed as a Sikh and now paying the price.

Not all Sikh marriages work out there is no guarantee that a sikh man and sikh woman would work out for the long term either but if you have the same faith and same outlooks in life there is a greater chance it will work because its more than attraction more than sex its something spiritual and deeper. Also if you fear karma and Waheguru's actions for disobeying him then you will not cross the lines..... a Sikh can marry any sikh of any racial or ethnic group as long as they the opposite sex and a believer like yourself thats the mandetory bit.

I remember seeing photo's of a american black sikh guy and american punjabi sikh woman married and I had no feelings of resentment or thinking another sikh woman is destroying her life and giving negative demographics to sikhi because they were both Sikhs. Similiary I came across a punjabi sikh guy married to white wife who embraced sikhi and I had no feelings against him either because they a sikh couple who raising their kids in a sikh household. In many cases those who embrace Sikhi uphold the faith better than those born into it yet have modern liberal selfish atheist views.

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We all stereotype, without even realizing most of the time.

Us punjabi sikhs can be quite backward as ''karndeep" pointed out above.

The problem is that very easily we mix sikhi with punjabi culture,,.. when in fact they are two different things.

Marriage in sikhi is about SIKH & SIKH...it has nothing to do with what colour or background you from.

Marriage as per culture is about punjabi sikh & punjabi sikh and then family and caste also come into play..

The topic in question is about non-sikh marrying a sikh... which in fact is nothing to do with sikhi and is not even a marriage as per sikhi.

A sikh marriage is completely different to other faiths.It is not about 2 people getting married with God being the witness.....it is about God marrying or merging two souls with himself....

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Brother Lucky,

we should also remember, that even for the merging two souls in Him, the only needful ceremony to be carried out, is His Simran, His love, His bakshish.... no worldly marriage will enable us to merge in Him, not even that one between sikhs.

Worldy marriage takes place, because there is some karmic settlement, adjustment between them to be cleared out, either by paying or getting ....

But the marriage of the bride soul with Purukh Wahiguru, is the birthright of all souls, there is no such karmic adjustment, it is just a natural bond of love and grace....

In reality, this game of love, is started by Wahiguru Himself, by pulling the soul towards Himself..... thus the soul is helpless, it can not resist the pull of the Beloved

Sat Sree Akal.

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  • 7 months later...
Guest L.A.H

I am a white atheist man in a relationship with a Sikh lady. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. I do not try to lead her astray, I try to help her to become a better person as she does me. I actually remind her when she has not said her prayers and I tell her that she needs to visit the temple more often. I love her with all my heart, the only problem with our relationship is people like this gentleman and their opinions. I am a secret to the majority of her family and friends. Those that know about us like me and know that I am good for my girlfriend. I lead my life in an honest and honourable manner. I spend half of my year working in India and regularly help charities there. I feel like I am being punished because I was not born in a certain place and I do not believe that God would take this as acceptable behaviour.

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