I Don't Want To Have Kids

[S4NGH]

Getting married isn't just about having kids. Your partner is supposed to be your guide, your support. You are both supposed to better each other, tread on the path together.

As for making babies...well theres an estimated 153,000,000 orphans in the world...Its like having your pantry full but you go and buy more food. For that reason, i will be adopting. They are all our children too.

[Guest _name_]

S4NGH, you get me! I see no need to make more babies. There are already so many out there that need help

[Questioner]

Men will always feel that they have some sort of right to tell women what their purpose is and what they should do with their bodies. This is something I've come to realise. Our purpose as a genderless soul is to become one with Vaheguru; our purpose as a Gursikh is to live within the world, contributing to society and doing seva whilst remaining detached from it. This is our spiritual path, and not a list of dogma which we must follow or risk being condemned to hell. We all have different paths; kamai-wale Singhs who hadn't got married are not condemned by the sangat for not procreating. You should, as I'm sure you will, live without the expectation of anything and not commit yourself to any particular thought about what will happen. Who knows. When the time comes, if you still feel the same, then that's cool beans.

I know a Gursikh couple who thought seriously about having children, waiting a good 7 years before coming to the decision to have them; they didn't regard having children as some sort of obligation, but rather a huge responsibility which one should not partake in if the chances are that you will not be able to put your everything into it. Their daughter is lucky, they put their everything into directing her passions towards Sikhi.

Personally, I've experienced much criticism for having opinions about what I want or do not want to do. I'm uncertain about marriage, because I simply don't what will happen. And if I am in a good position in the future, I might want to adopt. But why the stringent rules and regulations? Why do people feel they can dictate the decisions of a woman's life? We don't have much of a say anyway, it's all written for us.

[Guest B Singh]

There are a lot of disrespectful singhs/singhnia out there. Most of these people have a sheepish, traditional sense. So, they will express their ideas of marriage and children in a blind, biased manner and twist Gurmat to fit their agenda.

To get married or have children is not mandatory in Gurmat. To have children is not a big part of our life but Vaheguru Jee is and helping people around the world. Let's compare two types of people; one couple has children and they consider themselves selfless because they feel they are living for their children. All their energy and time is consumed in this way. The second person does not have children so has more freedom and opportunity to physically help children around the world and commit their life, outside of their working hours, to doing naam and bani abhiyaas for the countless people who are struggling against injustices.

There is a bigger world than just your own life, yes, which includes your marriage and your child.

Singhnia and Singhs should have a choice of whether they want to get married or have children. It should not be forced and nor seen as odd. For the ones who do not wish to get married and have children should show more confidence in your choice and opinions, in this lifestyle.

[Guest children]

Name, I was outlining benefits of having children, whether u want to have them or not is totally up to you- we are free to do as we choose and to live life as we choose, God doesn't judge us.

Once u get past the fear and worldly knowledge, u may come to understand why people have children and the love and seva that is beyind logic for even the hardest soul in caring for a child. If u don't understand, why not meditate on it and get the answer for yourself.

[Guest children]

Sangh, I truly salute you. God Bless u.

[jpsingh2]

Guruji says to us to not care what other people think very explicitly.. just try delaying the conversation with your parents or do some vague comment to get you some time if you don't think there is no other way out.

[Questioner]

Look at the analogy between AATMA, (Bride) and PARAMAATMA, (Husband).

Don't forget Sikhi is walking on Khandey di dhaar (double edged sword), temporal & spiritual.

Therefore consider both aspects.

And I would prefer you call me Uncle ji, am more mature than most of the members.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Yes, and gurbani makes it clear that we are all considered to be soul-brides of parmaatma. It's been said already that the worldly part of our jeevan constitutes an honest living, seva and generally functioning within society; nobody here has denied the temporal aspect and encouraged renunciation.

[Guest B Singh]

singhbj, you clearly lack a lot of understanding of Gurmat and a general moral mind. First, you tell singhnia that they have no choice but to get married. Secondly, you call the topic starter a kid. Thirdly, you tell the singhni to get married to a rich man?? Gurbani and life is only about befriending Vaheguru and helping others. That's it. Singhnia/women are free to do as they desire and no singh/man has any right to tell them otherwise.

[Jonny101]

If your mother had your type of thinking, you would not exist today. Children are not a burden, they are a part of you. Anyway, adoption is always a good alternative. I know a family which adopted two orphan girls from India. This greatly benefited those girls because we know their future would not have been that bright in India.