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I Don't Want To Have Kids


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Guest B Singh

Jonny101, there are plenty of people having children; good and bad parents with good and bad children. The planets overloaded with them. Not everyone needs to do the same. There are better ways of helping others than restricting your help to a few kids. There are saints who didn't marry such as Harnam Singh Ji (Rampur Kheray Walay) but no one ever picks on the Singh but they will most definitely judge the Singhni. People are very pathetic. To think that the only way to help others is to have children, which animals can do too, is very primitive.

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Ur life do what u want, but when it's too late then u may want kids.

Something to think about, those that u don't want maybe the ones who will help u in ur old age, or if u need help of any kind, who will do that?

Also there are men out there who are like u, and probably don't mind not having kids. Besides it all depends on ur karm too which we can't foresee, and only God. Who knows what's in store for their future.

Sanjog, karm also count too. If u just want to get married do that and find somebody who wants same.

U may change and want to adopt kids or even ur own, and want the child to follow Sikhi.

U are young age now, so thoughts, wants, understandings are different to when u will be older.

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Guest B Singh

To the topic starter, that's fine if you don't want to have children. I don't want marriage nor children, so there will be Singhs out there who are the same and do not want children. However, if you do not find anyone like that then you should be prepared for that and be independent and detached enough to accept an unmarried life. It would be weak and slavish for you to force yourself to have children just because you want to get married. Also, you should be aware of sly Singhs who tell you that they do not want children, because most likely he's waiting to marry you to change your view. There are Singhs who think the Singhni should be molded to the singhs needs. There are a lot of Singhs who do not respect Singhnia at the same level they respect other singhs and only want a housewife, and the same goes for Singhnia who do not respect themselves and just want to live a submissive life in that way as a housewife.

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It's fine if one don't want to have kids at this point as one may not be ready, would want to concentrate more on bhagti, naam simran and seva, work on spiritual evolution etc but to already have made static rigid decision (have preconditioning which is nothing but decision of individualistic egoic mindset) actually one don't want to have kids at all despite of getting married is going contrary to integral part of gristh jevan and also against overall sikh bhagti gyan sehaj marg (spontaneous flow of life/sikhi) as one is ultimately not attuned with hakum/raza- natural spontaneous flow of life. Pre-conditioning, conditioning in general is hindrance on sikh bhagti-gyan spiritual path.

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If our Gurus thought like this, why would they have even bothered to have kids?

They lived in gristhi jeevan. U may not feel the love for children now, but try asking people who don't have any or can't, it may make ur mind think differently. If u have been given a Gift by God, then be grateful for it and accept it, as there are so many out there that would want what u could have.

I don't think it's sexist, if it was I wouldn't be saying what I am. I used to say exactly what Op is saying at her age, and wish I never.

Don't ask for something that u will have to go back to ask for same thing again.

Daatan oh na mangiye,, fir mangan jaiye.. .

Let me enlighten you on the meaning of sexism.

"Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender."

The belief that women must have kids is, I'm afraid, sexist. Not to mention the misogynistic undercurrent in these posts of "the purpose of a woman is to give birth to Singhs/ Kings."

The rest of your argument is an emotional one, which there is no need to respond to.

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Let me enlighten you on the meaning of sexism.

"Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender."

The belief that women must have kids is, I'm afraid, sexist. Not to mention the misogynistic undercurrent in these posts of "the purpose of a woman is to give birth to Singhs/ Kings."

The rest of your argument is an emotional one, which there is no need to respond to.

Nobody is forcing her to have children, no it's not sexist views. Just trying to make her aware that at her age, she should not make decisions she may change her mind about later. Maybe ur not a woman, but I am giving advice from a woman's views.

Who cares what she does, it's her life, only trying to guide somebody which way I think is right.

As for emotional, gristhi jeevan views are not emotional. Our Gurus did not leave the world to meditate.

How is Sikhi going to carry on if women don't have kids? If u think from that view, is that emotional too? Coz I am 100% sure a man can't have kids, but you may not know that thou.

It's not just about me or any other bhenji either. It's also about continuing this world that we have come into.

So if u think along those terms, it is also selfish to reject a daat given to u by God. People have too much choice nowadays and don't appreciate life and the luxuries they have, that's why it's easy to make decisions u don't understand at young age.

If she feels later on in life she still don't want then that's her decision. It's like stopping mankind from progressing. There are many women that have abortions then regret after, then those same women ask God, as it's only afterwards they regret what they did.

So it's simple really, either marry somebody that doesn't want kids, or don't do nothing, and if all women start thinking like this then gristhi jeevan will stop, that's how we came into this world, regardless of us being female or male.

Our Gurus did not say not to live in gristhi jeevan, if that was the case, explain why they themselves had them?

They sacrificed their own children for us, and we got youngsters saying I don't want kids. So how will Sikhi carry on? Have u asked yourself that? Who will carry it on?

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S4NGH, you get me! I see no need to make more babies. There are already so many out there that need help

U seem to agree with this, so adoption could be an idea, maybe adopt an older child when ur bit older, if u don't want ur own. It will be great for making ur karm too, caring for somebody u have not given birth too, or if u don't want to adopt u could do seva of elderly, the rewards are in that. My masi ji could not have children, then accepted it, but then shortly after Masar jis friends wife passed away and was abroad in a dangerous country, and said if anything happens to me what will happen to my children, so they decided my Masar ji would take on the child, and that's what happened. They cared for somebody else's child as he had nobody.

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Yes Waheguru does all, but why are we creating thoughts in youngsters minds not to get married? And why should Sikhs leave it to others to carry on? What when they die? Why are we educating our own youngsters not to carry on family life.

Meditation pray to god can all be done in family life too, so whats so wrong with somebody wanting family life.

Its hard to leave the world be become a Saadh too. It doesnt say in gurmat go in the jungle away from the dunia to pray to God.

Only blessed few can do that, not whole world, others have tried and failed too. Its only who Waheguru has mehr on.

You can also look at this as going against your families, i.e: brainwashing away from family life. I know i have experienced it, its not easy doing bhagti.

There is nothin wrong with having family support.

I can't believe what some of u are writing, it's ridiculous, either u don't appreciate family life, or don't live in families. It's disgusting, what I'm reading, u are actually encouraging our girls not to have families.

If that's ur thinking, then why are u even on this site advising, why do u have internet and sit on here all day,

U just want to create arguments and youngsters once they got something in their minds only want clarification.

To OP my final answer is do what u want without creating arguments in ur family, respect them too. You will learn ur self about life and what God has in store for u.

No point us saying do this that, but to others stop encouraging our girls not to have families, that's how it's coming across.

Some won't like what I'm saying, but some of u think that u are on a certain spiritual level, and that my gristhi jeevan views mean nothing and if somebody talks sense within the real world, u don't like it and don't want to agree.

But even high spiritual don't say don't get married, doesn't matter what u think, it's all about what God would want for that person.

And the way the advice is given in such a way, with very confusing is intelligent, actually practically doesn't apply to anybody but God could understand.

Why don't some of u advise in common layman language.

I remember a lady called in to one of the program's once and she was right, nowadays kids think believing in God is strict.

Jina par likh lende una bambal boos ch paadinde. Yes I am angry, coz some of u are brainwashing, and it's pathetic.

End.

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