Alcoholic Father And A Depressed Mother - Anyone Going Through A Similar Situation

[Guest Sunnies123]

Hi, I need some advice from my fellow Sikh ladies. I am looking for anyone who is going to a similar situation...

For as long as I have known, father my has been an alcoholic. He is not aggressive, just depressed and irrational most of the time.

On the other side of things, my mom has grown to become very bitter with her life and is now depressed and aggressive towards me. So much so that at the age of 29, my siblings and I feel extremely distressed whenever she 'loses it'.

Neither of them have working jobs and it is up to my siblings and I to keep the house running. As a result, I am unable to leave the house to do anything aside from going to work as my mom makes me feel like I am selfish and uncaring for doing so.

I have now met a kind Sikh man. We met at work and we have been seeing each other for over 1 year now. He has been very patient and kind. I feel guilty for wanting to get married and leaving the house and the situation. I have told my mom about my boyfriend a while ago and that we want to get married, but she has not mentioned anything about him and does not seem interested in what I want. In her eyes my siblings and I are useless and selfish.

I am starting to feel depressed about it all - but I refuse to give into it all and remain positive and thankful for the life I have.

Is anyone going through anything similar?

[Guest Meet Guru Ka]

Replying to

[Guest Guru Ka Meet]

Wjkwjkf it is good you are remaining positive. Asian parents have an amazing ability to make you feel guilty for being born, especially if you are a female. They make you feel lIke you owe them everything for your existence. The truth of the matter is you have your own life to lead as well.

. Start making preparations for your wedding arrangements for wedding. Tell your parents and with there consent work at organising a very very simple wedding. You can even have it in your own house, people used to when they first came to the country. Keep it quiet and simple and move on to start your own famIly.

Get your mum and dad to listen to Sukmani sahib very day and all depressions will go away. Have faith in God to look after you.

[Guest missy]

I haven't been through this exact same situation, but came from a broken family and all that comes along with it. Like you I grew up very fast and had to take care of my parents emotional needs.

My advice is , not to feel bad and to concentrate on building a home and family. I'm sure you love your parents and family, despite their short comings but don't burn your life in drama and the expectation of acceptance from your mother.

If you want to discuss marriage or other things, talk to an aunt or someone whose judgement you trust.

Do paath and try not to focus too much on the negativity because you have to be in a position to be supportive to your husband to be.

[singhbj singh]

Contact

http://www.sikhhelpline.com/

[Guest Singhhh]

Alcoholic

[Guest Sat]

I gave money to my family for 4 years, and they treated me like absolute <banned word filter activated>. I slept in cars to stay away from them, they were the most primitive bunch of people I have ever come across.

U should go and live your life- your mum has every opportunity to practice Truth properly and find peace that way. She shouldnt try and make u unhappy because she is- take this as God teaching u that even ur most loved ones cant always be trusted. We come alone and go alone- theres only Truth in the end.

Live ur life but practice GurbanI and youll be blessed. Silence the mind, and therefore the 5 thieves- treat ur husband with respect as Gods child- he wont Belong to u, we're all free in Truth.

[S1ngh]

Dear sister,

Do not put your life on pause, proceed with marriage and you can still support your siblings after your marriage and even parents. The important thing is that you should be moving on with your life.

Our gurus showed us the clear way to live our life in peace. I hope that your future life involves great deal of sikh spirituality in order to keep everything in order.