Verbal Abusive Father

[Guest Kaur2312]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khaka Waheguru Je Ki Fateh

Please could i get advice on my dad. My dad swears alot and i mean a lot. Swearing is like breathing to him. He swears when we are doing bani and when Kirtan is on. Then he goes the gurdawara dressed in Bana and pretends to be into sikhi. I know that i sounds so ego and im just complaining but it really gets to me. Bhul Chak Mafka. Sorry Jee

[Guest hithere]

Sorry to hear that you're going through this.

You must realize that abuse is a cycle.

Don't think too much into his life, or why he cusses.

Remain a little detached from it, set yourself goals and don't bother yourself with it

[singh598]

It shouldnt get to you that means your Sikhi is poor aswell.....just ignore what you hear and see it all mayas dirty grime, rise above the challenge

your Guru sat on a hot plate and had sand poured over him and never complained

[jkvlondon]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khaka Waheguru Je Ki Fateh

Please could i get advice on my dad. My dad swears alot and i mean a lot. Swearing is like breathing to him. He swears when we are doing bani and when Kirtan is on. Then he goes the gurdawara dressed in Bana and pretends to be into sikhi. I know that i sounds so ego and im just complaining but it really gets to me. Bhul Chak Mafka. Sorry Jee

Bhen ji ,

it is all maya jaal , he has his path and you yours, do your ardas in front of Guru ji to lift your mind out of this chinta/judgemental frame of mind and do more naam and mool mantar abihaas . My dad was similar and it took me a long time to realise what Guru ji tells at the end of our daily Japji Sahib in Salok it is all down to Guru's kirpa whether we become nearer or further from Akal Purakh. Do your work and be successful in your life's mission and maybe your father will change in time too.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

He probably has anger issues...

[kharkusingh1996]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khaka Waheguru Je Ki Fateh

Please could i get advice on my dad. My dad swears alot and i mean a lot. Swearing is like breathing to him. He swears when we are doing bani and when Kirtan is on. Then he goes the gurdawara dressed in Bana and pretends to be into sikhi. I know that i sounds so ego and im just complaining but it really gets to me. Bhul Chak Mafka. Sorry Jee

slap some sense into him

[jkvlondon]

slap some sense into him

tut tut tut... veer ji we are supposed to honour our parents even if they are the worst ... Guru Nanak Dev ji did not punish his father and his father used to beat and call him all sorts ...don't get in the krodh cycle too , break it with naam

[simran345]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khaka Waheguru Je Ki Fateh

Please could i get advice on my dad. My dad swears alot and i mean a lot. Swearing is like breathing to him. He swears when we are doing bani and when Kirtan is on. Then he goes the gurdawara dressed in Bana and pretends to be into sikhi. I know that i sounds so ego and im just complaining but it really gets to me. Bhul Chak Mafka. Sorry Jee

Sorry to hear this. He may have depression. Try to get him to see a doctor, who can put him in right direction if it is.

[ms514]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Swears as in it is part of his vocabulary and he cannot help it or swears and is abusive with language at you and the family? If it is a language habit (yes, it can happen due to surroundings, the environment one is raised - swear words become a part of the vocabulary) and he is overall nice and receptive, it could be a simple sit down and discussion.

However, if it is a case of abusive language used as part of yelling, abuse towards the family - that is a more difficult situation. Confronting may be dangerous, as it could lead to more abuse, defensive attitude (with swearing) and no result. Have you talked to your mother about this issue? What is her response?

In the end, you could always do a silent awareness campaign. Hang these on your room door:

...or to the point

From https://www.facebook.com/sikhrehat

[kharkusingh1996]

tut tut tut... veer ji we are supposed to honour our parents even if they are the worst ... Guru Nanak Dev ji did not punish his father and his father used to beat and call him all sorts ...don't get in the krodh cycle too , break it with naam

I didn't mean physically slap him lol I meant to make confront him on his issues and call him out on it and try to encourage him to quit it. I feel physically slapping him won't solve anything and can make things a lot worse. Reminding him of who he is and who he represents (Khalsa) can make him think twice before swearing again or maybe not...