Sister Is Marrying Out Of Faith

[Guest Guest]

Dear Sangat Ji,

My sister sister wishes to marry out of faith and is causing our family a lot of heartbreak, she has a found a person on her own, in another country. and she wanted my blessings for her marriage. For me, I felt ashamed and said no, and told her, that if you turn your faith on Guru Gobind Singh, who are you to me.

She had kept this secret, so I told my parents, Sangat ji, is there anything I can do. I feel my parents pain, and my dad is very sad inside. I THINK as children we have a duty to keep our parents happy and respected.si

[Guest Free]

Love is divine, wherever there is love, there is God.

U can't force your beliefs on your sister, let her go and be happy and if it isn't for her, then it won't work out. We are all free to do what we want, when we begin to force our will on others, that's an extremist mentality. We can only teach, but freedom of choice is ours.

Parents can't have their children forever, eventually we get married or we die. Accept Hukam, everything is Gods will.

[dontcallmebhaji]

If the man is muslim than i feel your pain as they have just one agenda. If his not and his genuine than her sikhi will get stronger! Ask yourself if she gets married to someone else she has been encouraged to do, and it ends up in disaster, who will be to blame. Do you really think she will be loyal to her religion and the people that forced their outdated opinions on her. Parents have a bigger duty to their children. Im sick of parents laying the guilt trip on their children. Most punjabi parents would rather see their children miserable and unhappy than compromise their standing in the community. AS PARENTS THEY HAVE A GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO MAKE SURE THEIR CHILDREN HAVE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO BE HAPPY AND CONTENT.

[dontcallmebhaji]

Ask yourself one question. She stops seeing this guy, does what her parents say and has an arranged marriage. What about the poor boy she will be marrying, if his a honest and loyal and getting married for all the right reasons his relationship is one big lie. He will find out and resent the girl and her family. So the situation has got a lot worse in the long run.

[MisterrSingh]

Don't worry about that. The goal is to make love grow, not to find love (boyfriend/girlfriend), and then watch it sink. Dating is manmati..! If that guy is actually good, his karma/bhag may change her's too.

"Don't worry about that." Are you a female? That sounds like the kind of a thing an immature, selfish girl would say in response to papering over the cracks of her own transgressions. I tell you, any guy who has "played by the rules" his entire life and done the honourable thing more often than not, doesn't deserve someone like that. That's not being chauvinist, it's a harsh fact. And I'd say the same if the genders were reversed. The rest is up to his, as you say, karams. But for his sake I'd hope he would never end up with someone who's dipped her toe in other waters, certainly not in the cynical manner being described above. Not even sure that's a saying but anyway, lol.

[dontcallmebhaji]

in which case you will have two people who will be unhappy, the girl thats been forced and the boy thats been tricked. How does sikhi benefit, all we have down is put another brother in the local pub and down the route to self distruction and the sister who dreams of her long lost love whilst visiting the doctor for her anti-depressants. If the boy is muslim i would condemn this, the girl needs to get her parents involved and the boy needs to make his intentions clear and win the parent over.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

OP have ur sister listen to a recent bbc documentary it was about interreligious marriges and they interviewed this punjabi girl who secretly married an agnostic muslim. the guy is nice and they're still married and have children. But She regrets it big time now cuz she got into Sikhi now because it helped her with her alcohol addiction n other stuff. And shes really sad cuz she cant take amrit cuz her husband is muslim. n her children have to learn both about islam and sikhi and thats hard for the kids..

OP have ur sister listen to a recent bbc documentary it was about interreligious marriges and they interviewed this punjabi girl who secretly married an agnostic muslim. the guy is nice and they're still married and have children. But She regrets it big time now cuz she got into Sikhi now because it helped her with her alcohol addiction n other stuff. And shes really sad cuz she cant take amrit cuz her husband is muslim. n her children have to learn both about islam and sikhi and thats hard for the kids..

[Koi]

https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3039/2793229680_56015090d2.jpg

ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕਾਖਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕੀਫਤਹਿ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕਾਖਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕੀਫਤਹਿ।।

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[Guest life]

sister is stating sheloves a hindu boy.

I told her I Felt ashamed, and can't believe she would put unnecessary dukh on my dad, who had worked his whole life, to put food on the table. I feel I Failed as a brother, she said would you rather want me dead or with this person. Honestly, I said to her dead, because she would be killing my dad sooner.

[buddasingh]

Define dating. One can say arranged marriage is manmati and paap in sikhi. But that would be absurd as it restricts the concept to a narrow definition. One arranged marriage can be a beautiful making of a union another can be abuse.

Sad living of lies with how many Sikhs very respectfully find or get to know their partners before marriage and then pretend they hardly knew each other before marriage.

We should also take greater care with cliché racist overtones eg. 'western dating'. It would be as easy to argue that the crudest sexual morals today are in india and in the punjab.

Don't worry about that. The goal is to make love grow, not to find love (boyfriend/girlfriend), and then watch it sink. Dating is manmati..! If that guy is actually good, his karma/bhag may change her's too.