Arranged marriage for gay Sikhs

[Guest Icloud1998]

For Sikhs who are gay, what should they do if their parents want to arrange a marriage for them?

[jkvlondon]

there is no anand karaj for  gay relationships, and please for decency's sake do not spoil another innocent person's life by having a sham marriage to assuage the parents. Come clean , live in truth and if you have hardships, recognise  that's part of your chosen path . If you have a partner go civil partnership and DO NOT DO BEADBHI of Guru Sahib and His Darbar by insisting on Gurdwara marriage.

[Singh559]

You can't get Anand Karaj because it defeats the purpose, but you can still get blessings from Guru Sahib in form of Hukamnama and get a cultural wedding if that's your thing.

 

I can't relate, but I feel like a lot of gay people are gay due to culture and not biology..

[Balkaar]

2 hours ago, Singh559 said:

I can't relate, but I feel like a lot of gay people are gay due to culture and not biology..

Then how do you account for all the gay people in resolutely homophobic cultures and societies, like the Islamic ones? Islamic culture certainly doesn't encourage or incentivise homosexuality. 

Singh if being gay was the product of belonging to a certain culture, then all members [or a considerable number] of this culture would be gay - just like all Chinese people eat with chopsticks, because this is one of their cultural traits. As there is no civilisation which is predominantly or homogenously gay, I don't see how culture be responsible for making people into homosexuals.

 

 

[Balkaar]

13 hours ago, Guest Icloud1998 said:

For Sikhs who are gay, what should they do if their parents want to arrange a marriage for them?

They should tell them the truth and categorically refuse to be married off in this way. The only alternative is to ruin their own life and the life of whichever unfortunate Singh or Singhni they entrap in this web of lies. 

If their parents reject them over this thing which is totally out of their hands, it is the parent's fault, and not the son's or daughter's. I'd encourage these Sikhs to pursue their own happiness and obtain a civil partnership if have any aspirations in that direction.  

[Singh559]

4 hours ago, Balkaar said:

Then how do you account for all the gay people in resolutely homophobic cultures and societies, like the Islamic ones? Islamic culture certainly doesn't encourage or incentivise homosexuality. 

Singh if being gay was the product of belonging to a certain culture, then all members [or a considerable number] of this culture would be gay - just like all Chinese people eat with chopsticks, because this is one of their cultural traits. As there is no civilisation which is predominantly or homogenously gay, I don't see how culture be responsible for making people into homosexuals.

 

 

Yeah most of the time it's biological, but what people don't realize is that it can also be social/cultural influenced. I knew of a girl in high school from a Muslim family who dated around and she had a bad experience with one guy and then she turned gay. She didn't like that either so she turned bisexual and then claimed she had no gender and is now mentally unstable and on drugs...

[Balkaar]

9 hours ago, Singh559 said:

 I knew of a girl in high school from a Muslim family who dated around and she had a bad experience with one guy and then she turned gay. She didn't like that either so she turned bisexual and then claimed she had no gender and is now mentally unstable and on drugs...

That's actually a thing? I thought that sort of stuff only happened in comedy routines. She doesn't sound gay though, just very confused. 

Unlike homosexuality this modern idea of gender-fluidity is an example of the intrusion of a culture, in this case Liberal ultra-PC culture, into sexuality. Very few people saw gender as distinct from sex before the 20th century, because they knew that it wasn't. A man can certainly believe that he is a woman, but believing something doesn't make it so, it doesn't change the fact that he has and always will have XY chromosomes.

It is also a harmful idea - the last thing confused and insecure adolescents unhappy with their identities and obsessed with picking out 'labels' to apply to themselves need, is more confusion and more labels. 

 

[jkvlondon]

17 hours ago, Balkaar said:

Then how do you account for all the gay people in resolutely homophobic cultures and societies, like the Islamic ones? Islamic culture certainly doesn't encourage or incentivise homosexuality. 

Singh if being gay was the product of belonging to a certain culture, then all members [or a considerable number] of this culture would be gay - just like all Chinese people eat with chopsticks, because this is one of their cultural traits. As there is no civilisation which is predominantly or homogenously gay, I don't see how culture be responsible for making people into homosexuals.

 

 

some scientists feel it is some genetic thing but so far no gay gene has been discovered , brain differences have been found in other species the hypothalamus is different from regular male , female  features  such as size  but nothing  highlighting in humans yet. 
Yes there are cultures which have been gay such as Ancient Greeks , they were encouraged to cultivated a gay relationship and to have children a wife who was highly controlled in the home and outside. 

[Sikhofhope]

I personally believe they should tell it how it is to their parents as the gurus have always taught to lead an honest life no matter what!  The only problem is they cannot get an anand karaj at the gurdwara but they can go for a civil marriage. In my opinion, they should take Amrit and stay celebate by choice and become one with God. It's okay to be gay in my opinion but you should refrain from any sexual acts. And one can forget about being gay by not being engrossed in kaam and having full trust and devotion in waheguru s kirpa. Anyways it's all in wahegurus hukam and it knows best and is the decision maker of all! 

WJKK WJKF 

[Guest Reet]

On 7/24/2016 at 10:40 PM, Guest Icloud1998 said:

For Sikhs who are gay, what should they do if their parents want to arrange a marriage for them?

Your question is being interpreted in 2 ways- 

1) a man is gay but his parents arrange his marrriage to a girl (like the norm). So what should he do? Come out of the closet. Don't spoil your life just to keep your parents happy. You will be miserable & that girl would suffer.

 

2) parents accept son being gay and want to arrange his marriage to his partner. Suggest them something low key? A court marriage with a few selected friends?