No No No...No. No. Don't say that. This is simply a case of Singh holding back a bit too long. Kaur has virtue. She isn't gonna initiate pjysical contact and, in her mind, easily agreeing to physical contact is tantamount to initiating it. This is simply a case of Singh not being forthright enough. I'm sure even Kaur, right this minute, is wondering why he hasn't yet taken control.
I've studied Family Law. The one abiding memory I have of it is that when it comes to annulment due to non-consumation of marriage, the Law textbooks are jam packed with 'Kaur v Singh' cases. I remember when i was studying it, I couldn't help thinking that all my fellow students must think it is very common for sikhs to have this problem given our monopoly of English case law on the matter. Trust me.....Anullments due to non-consumation are so rare these days that their case, and all its sordid details, would make it into every family law textbook going.

respectfully, annulement is common in the Sikh community in the UK. One common theme arises in many of these type of cases, one party does not 'desire/ love/ want/ long/ give' to the other. In a community where many girls have (secret) relations before marriage, they use every excuse possible not to consummate.

In this example, singh and kaur appear to be reasonable adults. they both know what is needed/ required. My conclusion is kaur has more baggage than heathrow airport and should be dumped.

Singh needs to move on.

Bloody pathetic waiting 9 months like a twit !

I bet kaur avoids singh like the plague, making him feel unnecessarily insecure.

PS: Im a teacher and had a sikh colleague go through the same experience (his missey was still in 'dialogue' with her ex). Singh nearly broke down !

west landan singh i agree with your sentiments....

Its one thing being camera shy. But after 9 months of marriage she doesnt want to do it then, I say her heart/ love is not for this singh (perhaps for another guy).

Something doesnt seem right in her head. Appears this singh is doing all the right (sensitive) things.

Annul (as the marriage has not been consummated) the marriage and move on !

Where is your self respect Singh -get the F out !

No No No...No. No. Don't say that. This is simply a case of Singh holding back a bit too long. Kaur has virtue. She isn't gonna initiate pjysical contact and, in her mind, easily agreeing to physical contact is tantamount to initiating it. This is simply a case of Singh not being forthright enough. I'm sure even Kaur, right this minute, is wondering why he hasn't yet taken control.
I've studied Family Law. The one abiding memory I have of it is that when it comes to annulment due to non-consumation of marriage, the Law textbooks are jam packed with 'Kaur v Singh' cases. I remember when i was studying it, I couldn't help thinking that all my fellow students must think it is very common for sikhs to have this problem given our monopoly of English case law on the matter. Trust me.....Anullments due to non-consumation are so rare these days that their case, and all its sordid details, would make it into every family law textbook going.

west landan singh i agree with your sentiments....

Its one thing being camera shy. But after 9 months of marriage she doesnt want to do it then, I say her heart/ love is not for this singh (perhaps for another guy).

Something doesnt seem right in her head. Appears this singh is doing all the right (sensitive) things.

Annul (as the marriage has not been consummated) the marriage and move on !

Where is your self respect Singh -get the F out !

Ah there we go. It normally doesn't take too long for a person that doesn't like arranged marriages to appear and 'inform' all of us that are in very loving arranged marriages that we have been 'forced' into marriage. Its a good job people like that exist, because obviously we people that have had arranged marriages are a bit simple in the brain department and not able to know what is best for us without being taught right from wrong by the ever so clever love marriage posse.
Thank you passer-by. There I was, thinking i loved my wife and kids. Little did I know that I had been forced into this love. I shall heed your advice and divorce my wife immediately and place my kids into local authority care. I can't thank you enough.

West London Sikh, it seems you have taken this post rather personally, no? From my reading of the post, the poster was offering a different perspective (as I though was sometimes the point of posting on these forums).

Ah there we go. It normally doesn't take too long for a person that doesn't like arranged marriages to appear and 'inform' all of us that are in very loving arranged marriages that we have been 'forced' into marriage. Its a good job people like that exist, because obviously we people that have had arranged marriages are a bit simple in the brain department and not able to know what is best for us without being taught right from wrong by the ever so clever love marriage posse.
Thank you passer-by. There I was, thinking i loved my wife and kids. Little did I know that I had been forced into this love. I shall heed your advice and divorce my wife immediately and place my kids into local authority care. I can't thank you enough.

Give over, West London Singh. You're in a loveless marriage and you know it!


(jks btw)

Although in all seriousness I do wonder how some of my brothers (in the figurative sense) would cope if they never had their parents to arrange unions for them. I tell you some of them are definitely not marriage material (in terms of maturity and common sense) and they would be the first to admit that. If they'd been left to fend for themselves like our white brothers we'd see a heck of a lot of brahmchari's amongst Sikhs.

Ever think you are forced into marriage and are disgusted by the thought of your sexual partner? People are disgusted with regular dating but can laugh about this. Keep in mind when two people are dating they actually want to be together not always with these cases.

Ah there we go. It normally doesn't take too long for a person that doesn't like arranged marriages to appear and 'inform' all of us that are in very loving arranged marriages that we have been 'forced' into marriage. Its a good job people like that exist, because obviously we people that have had arranged marriages are a bit simple in the brain department and not able to know what is best for us without being taught right from wrong by the ever so clever love marriage posse.
Thank you passer-by. There I was, thinking i loved my wife and kids. Little did I know that I had been forced into this love. I shall heed your advice and divorce my wife immediately and place my kids into local authority care. I can't thank you enough.

What's so funny about this topic?

Some of them are forced. Girls can't say NO and have no control over their body, being given to another man. There's a difference between crying and being shy to hold someone's hand. Nobody is ready to marry anyone after talking for such a little amount of time. Especially when they aren't even interested to begin with.

Sexuality is all sins but for someone reason when someone is forced to marry someone against their will and now they are officially married it is okay?

Everyone is shrugging it off as what's wrong with her? Ever think you are forced into marriage and are disgusted by the thought of your sexual partner? People are disgusted with regular dating but can laugh about this. Keep in mind when two people are dating they actually want to be together not always with these cases.

omg i laughed SO hard at the kitchen bit hahaha, seriously as if she's some thing that you need to please only to eventually thrust into the kitchen! kinda mean..really hope no one does this.

sorry to divert off the issue, as a 21 year old singhnee (recently amrit chak ) i have no idea why she's acting like this, however she may be shy because she doesn't know how you will react to her. for example she might be body image conscious (oh I'm too fat/thin etc!) and thus wants to keep you away from the 'ugliness'. you have to make her known that you don't care about the physical aspect of sex, rather the spiritual connection and completely becoming man and wife.
personally I've never dated or anything, but even i get all giddy and giggly when a good looking guy flirts with me, however the idea of 'doing it' freaks me out...as it probably does her. she may also hate the idea of being so intimate with another human being...make it seem like a normal thing, start slowly by touching her frequently (on the hand, arms -very briefly to just give a sensation but not scare her by prolonging the touching) and increase this to leaning in when she talks (pretending you can't hear her lol) and eventually kissing (first kiss briefly, followed by better).

if anyones wondering how the hell I'm coming out with all this, its because I'm naturally very intuitive, a psychology student and i can understand other peoples minds/needs/wants very well. i can also read minds which freaks everyone out lol

thank you and sorry for being so long

fateh ji!

Vjkk vjkf

I would just like to say to the original poster take things slowly, there is no need to rush into consummating a marriage and to all others too, no you don't need to consummate it first night.

It is a very daunting thing for a woman, especially when youve had an arranged marriage and not really got to know your husband.

I remember trying to pluck up the courage to even walk into the bedroom and share a bed with someone who I hardly knew. So please take her feelings into account, get to know each other, talk, cook together, go out, and once you are fully comfortable with each other things will naturally take their course.

lol
though i was just being practical....wat would u rather do sit and do nothin all day or be useful....i mean she could do other stuff if she knows how....get a job..i guess....

Nah I was joking. You're right. I just lolled at the 'kitchen' bit, as if all this kindness is leading up to her kitchen duties.