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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/09/2013 in all areas

  1. I don't know what it is with punjabi older men - they have this emotional block maybe its us - maybe we are just a bit western expecting the extra affection - in india they just seem to have to get on with it we have to understand that we are british sikh - and not indian sikh and we are diferent lets try and look at it from their perspective.....! my dad like a lot of older punjabi men has an alcohol problem - and this is the only time his emotions come out RAW - all the tears emotions, friendships, and enemies and betrayals from family members get mentioned during that period - its pretty sad - these guys have achieved such a lot under a formidable set of circumstances, but I think in the process it took a lot out of them.... imagine this you grew up in India around your family, you were carefree and a bit of a dude, not so rich - your father passed away early so it was your responsibility to look after everyone, younger siblings and mother you get sent to a foreign country where you experience racism, verbal abuse, violence, working shitty jobs for a pittance, even though you were intelligent, and then you get married to a women you have never met (all the while thinking of Gejo, your childhood sweetheart from college back home) , its all tough but you just have to kill a part of yourself and do it, thinking of family back home who are relying solely on you! you earn not so much and you have to send half your money back to make sure your family back home can eat, and also go back each time you have to get your younger sisters married off, all the while your wife is getting pissed at you why you never have any money- uncles in uk get you settled and give you some work, yet they pay you crap and reap the benefits themselves some other relations back in India try and take your fathers jameen because you are out of the country you help all your family out and then afterwards they all just diss you anyway(typical indians) - so you become a bitter old man who takes it out on his family and then to top it all off you work your off all your life and give your kids all the chances you never had - then your kids come up to you and say you never hugged us all our life you insensitive ...... we haven't been through half the they have - in a way you pretty much kill off any sensitivity and become a hardassed ! I really HAted my dad throughout younger years, until i learnt about what he had to go through , from some of his old friends - it really opened my eyes and i thought had i been through all that would i have come out any better ? I think sometimes we just need to have faith that they love us - and may not show it like we expect but deep down it's there biggest Lesson is life itself - when you become a dad yourself - you appreciate your parents much better- you understand them in a different way I couldn't get on with my dad as a father - but i managed to make a great relationship with him as a friend - but only when i grew up and became a father myself rereading all this i am sure that a lot of people can relate similar stories to their fathers
    3 points
  2. Such things are not important. The people doing research on colours should instead use their energy in inspiring Sikhs to live in Sikhi way of life. Even if tomorrow all the Gurdwara Sahibs decide to change the Nishan Sahib to blue colour, but what good will such a move be if nearly 90% of our Panth is now Patit? Bhai, instead if this colour issue, use your latent and research on how to do Sikhi Parchar to over 90% of the Panth that is not living the Sikhi way of life. That is more important than any frivolous issue out there.
    2 points
  3. 1 point
  4. WaheguruJiKaKhalsa!!WaheguruJiKiFateh!! Nishan Sahibs are supposed to be Blue or yellow , not orange/safron
    1 point
  5. As others have said this is a complete non-issue.
    1 point
  6. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh Does Syria and WW3 matter to us as 'individuals' any more than other conflicts around the world? (Any crimes against a people or race are wrong) Our time on this earth has already been decided, we shouldn't worry about things that we cannot control. Better to focus on Akal Purakh... Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
    1 point
  7. @ Taran Ji - I want to hear more about Gejo... :giggle:
    1 point
  8. Baba Nihal Singh (Harianvela) Baba Nihal is the Jethadar of Tarna Dal, one of the factions of Nihang Singh's. The previous Jethadar found Baba Nihal because he had a premonition and picked him up from his parents. The parents agreed to let their child be raised and taught in the Nihang Dal. Nihal was a very obedient student and his Jethadar would always dismiss him to go to sleep. One day the Jethadar woke up and Nihal had been standing by his side all night. When asked Nihal said that he was never dismissed and therefore didn't leave. In 1964 Tarna Dal went to liberate the Gurdwara Paonta Sahib from corrupt masands. While performing an Akhand Path the Singh's were shot by police. Baba Nihal was 1 of 2 survivors and was honored as a living Shaheed. In 1984 Baba Nihal was tortured by the police, but did not give up. He remains the Jethadar of Tarna Dal, living in his villiage Harianvela (Hoshiarpur) and making frequent visits to Canada. He remains a great source of inspiration and knowledge for the Sikh Panth.
    1 point
  9. You're a deep thinker. Taran jee you have perfectly described every Punjabi family out there. Especially the part of apne helping out their relatives back home in India all their lives only to get dissed afterwards. But the worst relatives are the ones trying to grab your Jameen when you are in the west working 24/7. Almost every Punjabi family you talk to in the west has a bitter story of being betrayed by their relatives in India. One should never be too overly generous to their relatives back home no matter how good they seem at first.
    1 point
  10. If someone does any kind of historical preservation despite not doing bhagti, the external and superficial fal will still be the same. Of course the internal fal may not be the same, but that's a different subject. With that said, of course you're supposed to do Bhagti and simran 24/7, but you can't pick and choose or kirat karna and vand chakna. A good example of this is Baba Ranjit Singh Dhadrianwale - he does great bani and Sikhi parchaar but he doesn't have kirat kamaiyee nor does he have vand chakna. In the end you can't pick and choose when you're a Sikh - it's the whole package. To take up the tasks that chatanga paji mentioned, all you need is that internal sharda to want to help the panth - everything else after that depends on the avastha of the person. The mentality you mentioned is quite dangerous. This may not sit well with most Punjabis, but I feel like as a collective whole we make more excuses to not do something and use bhagti and naam simran as an excuse to be lazy. "Oh ki layna ah karke - mann khraab hunda. Bas baani pardi challo saara kuj set hojana". That's what a lot of pakhandi babay (who I will argue are indian govnt sympathizers) in Punjab say so the Khalsa Panth remains asleep and doesn't go out and act. Bani and Simran is a minimum every Sikh should have, but it's not the limit. A lot of times doing sewa turns into bhagti, especially when done with Kirpa of Guru Sahib/Ardas done from bottom of the heart. Like Sant Singh Ji Maskeen has said we've lost a lot, never gained much mainly because of this kind of thinking. The reason I'm saying this is because we're in a very critical stage in history right now and will be facing a lot of attacks on our ithihaas from many sides - including internal. Our goal right now should be to become GurSikhs AND it's very, very important to support any kind of sewa someone can do for the panth. An example of this can be an environmental task, maybe someone isn't really a practicing Sikh, but they love the environment. Trees they plant in Punjab or any sort of environmental work they do will still be the same as if someone with a high avasta did the same thing. Hope you get what I'm saying with this.
    1 point
  11. Sikh history can be divided into 5 periods: 1.The Guru Period 1469-1708 2.The Dal Khalsa 1708-1799 3.The Sikh Raaj 1800-1849 4.The British Raaj 1849-1947 5. Partition and after 1947-present Of course these 5 main periods will still have further specific divisions in them. Brothers and sisters, why not take a particular period, and focus on that for personal interest and specialise in that time period? Or take a particular event, person, from these periods and learn all about that, from every source available and specialise in that? That is not to say, neglect the others, but to become experts on particular strands of Sikh history. Then why not in some future time, share that expertise with the wider Sikh community? Take the example of Gurinder Singh Mann, who has devoted himself to learning about Dasam Granth and other less well known scriptures. Now after years of intense research on specific subjects, he is doing an amazing job sharing his research with the world. YOU can be the next Gurinder Singh Mann.
    1 point
  12. If it wasn't for him, the disappearance and murder of over 200,000 young Sikhs would have been buried under the mists of history's mysteries.
    1 point
  13. If the police really wanted to do something about this. They could set up sting operations around the country and even infiltrate these sexual grooming gangs. But this type of crime is not one of the top concerns for them. The idea is not to go after those who do it, but those who supply the means. Break the network and these giddars will not know which direction to run in. If the police were interested they could map out where cases have occurred in a city and even predict where the next attack will most likely occur. Victim reports can tell which areas the groomers are taking the victim and which areas they were first approached by the disgusting pigs. All this information can be mapped out and then produced into data which shows patterns. Policing in BC used the mapping design to counter gang wars in BC. A task force was made and anyone that was a gang member was put on a list. Police officers showed up at bars, clubs, local gyms, and at the gang members residence. Guess what happened. Gang activity has gone down as the police started to disrupting the gangs network. A similar approach can be taken by normal citizens by mapping it all out. Humans are creatures of habit. Humans are comfortable taking routes and going to place that we are familiar with. These pigs are no different and when they commit these crimes, they are doing them where they feel most comfortable. Which means in areas where it is mostly dominated by Muslims. Victims are also being targeted at the same sites or similar sites. So in these areas start putting up posters and make other visible aids that potential victims and the surrounding community can be aware of what is happening. This will be a constant reminder, which will stick with them. Gather in these areas and make your presence known. Advice the community of where they can get help if such pigs approach their daughters and sisters.
    1 point
  14. I just want to emphasize the importance of what veerji has said above, because along with instilling Sikhi knowledge in our kids, it is the single most important factor in preventing grooming of Sikh girls. I'll give you a personal example. I am from a practicing/keshdari family. From a young age, my siblings and I have been taught about Gurmukhi and our history. Step one complete, no one would ever be able to lie to us/manipulate us about Sikhi, we have answers to any question/argument. After reaching a certain age, we also got involved in seva initiatives. This surrounded us with wonderful sangat, Singhs and Kaurs who led by example, and didn't just know about Sikh, but were LIVING Sikhi each and every day. It is one thing to be lectured about Sikhi, it is another thing to experience it and live it in real life. Just like you can read 100 books on driving, until you have actually gotten in the car and tried your hand at the wheel, you are never going to be able to do it properly. So, step two complete, we were now applying the teachings of Sikhi into our everyday lives. But there was one thing missing. My father is not an emotional man, in fact, he's more detached and withdrawn than most people. He cares about us for sure, we all know it, but he has never really been able to have that "you can come to me for anything" connection with his children, it is his biggest weakness. I am the eldest child in the family. I have a younger brother and a younger sister. Thankfully, at an early age, I was able to figure out that the most troubled children are the ones that come from a broken home OR where the family is not tight-knit, and for this reason I took it upon myself to become that lead male figure in my brother and sister's lives. With my brother, I know how important it is for guys to want to impress one another and "be cool", this can often times lead to alcohol and drug use, sometimes even worse than that. The single most important thing I did with him was show him that there was nothing cool about doing what everyone else was doing, real men, pioneers, do not follow other people's paths, they create their own. There are 2 types of people in life: leaders and followers, the former become CEOS, Presidents and world-wide stars. They are rooted to the Earth, are powerful, confident, stand up for what they believe in and ground the world up to their vision and all, NOT the other way around. When they die, millions mourn, for they not only lived a great live themselves, they inspired the people around them to do so as well. The latter spend their entire lives trying to impress other people, like a tumbleweed constantly blown in every conceivable direction by the winds of life. They are sheep who are too cowardly to trek their own paths, they would rather listen to others than use their own logic and judgement, they accomplish nothing noteworthy and in the end die forgotten and irrelevant. Our Gurus were leaders. They did not conform to convention, stood up for what they knew to be right, valued truth higher than anything else, and even today, hundreds of years later, their message lives on through us. I taught my brother to not care about what the guys around him were doing and instead go down his own path. And again, it isn't just enough to say, you gotta do it yourself. We hit the gym together 3-5 times a week, have seva initiatives on the weekends, try to do our best in school, and want to get involved with a martial art and a few other volunteer programs, and of course, are constantly trying to learn more about Sikhi. When you're doing all that, there's no time for drugs or alcohol. And my sister. It's been mentioned on here before that a lot of Punjabi girls have low self-esteem and that is why it is easy for predators to prey on them. I have found this to be true. Unfortunately, most Punjabi families do favor the boys over the girls. Furthermore, girls need a strong male in their lives, someone they can look up to, someone who can show, by example, the way a real man acts and behaves. They need to be close to this person as well, to know that he loves and cares about them. Obviously my dad wasn't able to do it, not because of gender issues, he treats us all the same, but because he has always remained emotionally detached for most of our lives. So I did it. My sister describes me as her "best friend", and I am glad. Every brother, especially the older ones, should be close to his sister, not only to protect her, but also to guide her. My sister tells me EVERYTHING, and yes, this includes her crushes/guys she likes. The important thing is not to be a dictator, not to lecture her about how wrong it is or how much of an <banned word filter activated> she is etc... Crushes are normal when you're growing up, no one can control the way they feel, but we can all control the way we act. So I never chastise her for her feelings towards a boy, instead I remind her that we all have to make the bed we sleep in, that there are very real consequences for what we do, every action has a reaction and she needs to figure out what is important to her and stick with it. We both know of people who sleep around, do drugs, poorly in school, I just tell her that it is her choice about which side of the fence she wants to be on, certainly no one else can force her to behave a certain way. Like I said before, being a dictator isn't going to help, give your kids/younger siblings the tools they need to make the right decisions on their own, it will keep them safe for life. So yeah, other than that, we have very similar personalities so always spend a lot of time chilling/hanging out together, I help her out with school, we really do get along like best friends. I've talked to her about the whole muslim grooming thing, she listened to me because we are close and she values what I have to say, had I been a dictator big brother it likely would have gone in one ear and came out another. And now I feel comfortable knowing that even if she moves away for Uni, she will be able to steer clear of this problem and come back safe and sound. Oh and one last thing, to guys with little sisters, they pay a lot of attention to the way you treat other women. If you're a womanizer/wanna-be-pimp, they will think it is okay for guys to treat them like that. Treat other girls the same way you'd want a guy to treat your sister.
    1 point
  15. Maali da Kam paani dehna, bhar bhar mashka deveh; Malik da Kam phall phull lona; laveh ja na laveh.... It is the duty of the Gardner, to water the plants; it is upto mother nature, whether they yield flowers and fruit.... Khalsa Ji, it is our duty to water our minds with Gurbani; when and where, we become liberated from Kaam/krodh/lobh/moh/ahankar, is in the hands of Satnam Waheguru....
    1 point
  16. I wasnt refering to any grooming, but your implication that it seems ok for a sikh girl to marry a hindu, but definitely not a muslim. But the end result would still be the same wouldnt it? your sister giving birth to non-sikhs, whether she married a hindu or a muslim. why discriminate between the two? There are a number of factors, preventative measures that can/may help. good education of sikhi strong family unit, where parents and children are allowed to question aspects of belief without fear. helping youngsters to build strong same faith friendship groups. not to be extreme in religious practice or avoidance of it. any others. What we want to avoid is instilling in our children a fear of certain communities, as in UK, they may be interacting with these communties as they grow up.
    1 point
  17. This "full beard vs trimmed beard vs mona" division will be the downfall of our faith. We've been through 3 genocides and are still here, bigger than ever, no external force will ever be able to destroy Sikhi, but if we don't stop arguing among ourselves, we will destroy Sikhi on our own. Anyways, I agree with the above comment, at least the guy had a turban and is making an effort to connect Sikh youth to their roots, just because his beard is trimmed doesn't mean we should shun him, he is our brother in faith and we should congratulate him for the effort. I say this as someone with an untrimmed beard.
    1 point
  18. Waheguru Bhia Sahib here is a book by Prof. Sahib Singh where he does teeka of Jaap Sahib, Tav Prasad Swaye, and Chaupai Sahib Here is the link Prof. Sahib Singh Book
    1 point
  19. that i dont know, as having never asked, but paath can only be learned correctly in gurmukhi, or by oral repetition. I have heard a lot of young sikhs read bani incorrectly. No-one can learn paath correctly by roman english. having said that, i wont say any more on it, as it is your project, may Waheguru bless you with fruition in your sewa.
    1 point
  20. Baba Nand Singh Ji Bachan He said "Partiton will happen after I pass on" . He passed on in 1943 . The he said A time will come when "Passa Pir te Istri Guru". Then time will change and "Gurmukhi Akhar will be pardhan and Guru Nanak de Jhanda(flag) will be flowing in the world"
    1 point
  21. Fair play to Lord Singh. I'm going to do something quite mischievous today. I'm going to send in a text message into his show saying "Nihal is clearly a hot-potch of other DJ's, i.e. Tim Westwood and...er....Bobby Friction". It's not offensive, it's not bitter and he can't do us for it because it's taking the mick. Also it's better than sending in something abusive which he could turn around and use to portray himself as the victim. :biggrin2:
    1 point
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