I'm not perfect either, but if maharaj blesses me with the realisation that I've done a mistake, I take it so seriously. Im doing great but see now, I haven't woke up for amritvela for 5 days! That's alottt, and I completely feel I need to forgive myself. I must wake up tomorrow or else guru maharaj not gonna forgive me and probably take away my wish of getting amrit.
I am lucky because guru maharaj without looking at all my sins, put his nadar on me. This is one thing that I'll always thank paatshah for.
Hope all of the sangat have a great day!