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This country is getting on my nerves. A Zog infiltrated mess.

Ok then I agree. By the way, have you heard sufi music? The Nooran sisters were recently going viral. I think that is the folk type, appealing to the masses type of music that harmonium was meant to convey. Esp for the rural ppl. Because tanti saaj has been and still is something that requires years of practice and only available to the leisurely rich ppl. Which is great that guru sahib ji gave us such a great cultural heritage and we should cherish it. But also not stop the more easily accessible way to connect to gurbani.

The important thing for UK Sikhs to realise is that this sort of attitude towards Sikhs from certain quarters isn't just a few isolated incidents. Plus, I think most of us clued up UK apnay know that if it had been a Sikh who'd done an equivalent act - the media and polic would have jumped on it to slander us.

Say what you want, those instruments that the Guru introduced/created are FAR superior when compared to the harmonium. In my humble opinion, I think it's only right that we use those very high quality instruments introduced/created by the Guru. I'm not advocating to completely get rid of it, rather, tanti saaj should have a greater emphasis.

I guess they probably see it as an indulgence, and therefore something that demeans their spirituality. By spurning degh they signal their superiority to the rabble who are busy yamming it into their gobs as fast as possible. Just my opinion. ?

I never heard any gharwala calling gharwali "Buddi" in punjabi culture - too odd. It is actually "budd-ri" used as offensive to call old aged person. It is called in vain to address old person - mother/grand mother aged - over 70+.

The correct term is Kaur

people from the pind are usually related. Even if they dont share surnames. They could be your great great grandfathers daughters kids who moved to this pind because their dad died. Anyways. You are only 20. Do you want to get married soon? If not stop talking to guys. Everyone knows first love never lasts. And if you are going the western way in ur relationships. First heartbreak is also a milestone. Wallow in it, cry for a few days. Enjoy the melancholy. Dont antagonize ur parents, ur future, ur education for this guy. Western societies believe love is amazing and special. Its not. People fall in love multiple times, even marry and promise love till death and then divorce and then find another love to marry. Any guy you start talking to and share 'dukh sukh' u will become emotionally attached and be in love with. So forget this guy, you will find another one. And hopefully, like alot of indian girls, remember to see if the guy is suitable before deciding to fall in love or getting involved. Which usually includes finding his caste, surname, nanake pind, income level, any enemities with ur family ? just a heads up

As long as none of your maternal or paternal surnames match, there's nothing wrong with this in the strictest sense from a Sikhi perspective. This issue however, is more about how your parents perceive the relationship they have with the people of the pind. And yes, traditionally speaking, all people of the same pind are considered to be siblings. That's why you'll meet some people who's surname is the same name as the pind or place they're from (Johal, Baidwan, Doabia etc.). But ultimately, as with all issues, it depends how far you (and your friend) are willing to take this to make it work. And yes, it may unfortunately mean cutting ties with your parents. Some might say that is wrong, while others will say it's unfair for your parents to force you in to this situation. Like most things in life, it's not black or white. It's understanding the situation the best you can, making the decision you feel is right, and being prepared to live with the consequences of your decision. Best of luck ??