Guru Sahib gave us the command to keep kesh, that's all that should matter. Who said you look better as a mona? Where will those people be when your last breath comes? Guru Ji's teachings will always be true and relevant, they are aadi, jugaadi and hosi.
Furthermore, thousands of Sikhs have died for your right to keep Kesh, and accepted death rather than cut their Kesh. By cutting your kesh, you are saying that they fought and died for no reason.
There are still real Sikhs around, you just need to look in the right place. If you are India, visit our traditional Taksals, Nihang Dals, Mahapursh etc. Go to historic Gurdwaras and find out what happened there.
Change your Sangat and within a few days you won't want to cut your kesh anymore, and you'll stop the other stuff you do as well.