sitargirl

aww saint-soldier thats cool to know. I will adopt you as my brother so when anyone tells me off they gots to go through the saint soldier first. Damn how cool does tht sound. lol.

Anyways I have something serious to add to the topic. Firstly I don't think its nice to say personal things to the I sold out boy. But yes in response to the wedding pic comment your not supposed to be all over each other as doing so is considered a lack of respect since it places all the guests and little children in an awkward position. Its like how everyone will be disgusted and think u have no respect if you kissed in front of Shiri Guru Granth Sahib Ji on your wedding day. Its basically the same analogy.

Also recently I was thinking about this marriage stuff. Basically one of my friends called me today and she told me how I have to find someone at university or I will not find anyone. I was abit like erm ok. I mean in my life I have always sat on the fence about love and arranged marriage. Some things I was certain about such as no I do not want to marry anyone. But other things were unclear to me. Of course everyone wants to marry for love but is dating or arranged marriage the way to find love. Everyone who dates will tell you that its not love at first sight which is why you have so many dates.

I thought about this very carefully. Say if I were to date I would not date anyone. I would narrow the person down by academic qualification, level of sikhi, appearance, job and career prospects. Now its not only me but everyone else will look for people based on a criteria. I've watched a few of my friends who are older than me and they have the same approach. Now the thing is I noticed what a lot of people do. They go to random birthday events, random group meals to meet other people. Its like networking to find people that might be potential for marriage.

If I am to be honest this is no different from what my parents would do on my behalf because all parents have a list of criteria. If anything they would save me time and save me the headache from broken hearts. Additionally they get to know the family aswell.

Now here is one thing I got to be a part of and it really changed my understanding of arranged marriages: Basically one of my closest friends is an actuary and she earns at least 60k and she recently had an arranged marriage. For me it was interesting to see how this worked. Basically I realised I had this misconception that an arranged marriage is a forced marriage. I blame the media for this and all those stupid honour killing stories I hear.

Actually its nothing like that. Its more like an assisted match making process. Her family introduced the guy and they chatted for a year. When they were ready they set an engagement date and then a wedding date. The whole process must have taken 3-4yrs...It was actually quite cool because her parents had introduced her to a lot of other guys..one of the guys was a dentist but she said no to him...so it wasn't even like you had to say yes. Everything was in her control but her parents played the crucial role in finding suitable matches.

Its clear to conclude that arranged marriages makes it easier. Also everything is in the open it makes u feel so much better. I remember her saying that bit me. Other things she said to me were how u know ure not gonna meet anyone messing about. Btw incase anyone is wonderin - she is not hardcore sikh. She actually cuts her hair and eats meat.

Today when my other friend started telling me her problems and how I have to find someone too. I instead found that I had a huge dawning of wisdom. I realised how arranged marriage is based on one huge thing: how well have ure parents networked and do they have the same criteria as you?

If your parents do not have the same criteria as you then ure gonna have problems so you need to have a chat about that. Then how well are they networked? If they are not so well networked then in many cases its easier for the child to build the connections through university, work place, other friends etc.

All in all I realised that the end result of arranged marriage and so called 'love' marriage was exactly the same but it was simply initiated differently. Interestingly what works for one person might not be the best option for another. My friend was very lucky. Her family is well known amongst the rich sikh circles so for her finding a partner who earned the same amount of money and was sikh was not a problem because her parents knew people.

From talking to her and knowing my own parents - I would definately go for an arranged marriage because I have to do less work and I know my parents have the same criteria as me. But if your parents don't know that many people with the correct criteria then its inevitable but you will have to do the finding yourself. It best however to chat to them about this so they are in the know....just like they would keep you in the know if they were finding matches.

All in all I do not feel there is a wrong or a correct method. All I can say is that there are more dangers in doing it on ure own. However if your wise then doing it alone shouldn't get you into too many deep waters.

Also I haven't read all this thread but by the looks of things we are not reaching an answer. I think its fair to say its because the answer depends on your family and how well they are connected as this dictates the approach you will find yourself taking.

I have no idea who these ppl are but I think thats what is wrong with us. We look for role models but we fail to see that we as individuals are the role models. By this I mean: I don't need anyone to inspire me. We should stop looking outside and instead we should look inside. I am my own inspiration and I think everyone should do the same.

Did you even read the whole article?

mai pare ta ha se....as Matheen says by asian they mean oriental asians. And tht obese thing made me laugh...punjabi ppl are slightly on the fat side of things. lol I am joking incase anyone gets upset!

Plus soya contains estrogen and they know it reduces sperm count....but they don't know the mixture of factors like age, ethinicity which affect the overall fertility problem....but you see its deffo certain tht soya contains more oestrogen....

I guess the positive outlook on things is that the extra oetrogen hormone boost helps men not to be hairy...actually that might explain why chineese men don't have much hair. lol.

The easiest thing to do is to call the gurdwara ji. Search for their phone number in google.

Soya and tofu lovers should read this cos they ruin male fertility. Paneer all the way. YAY :D

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/sto...eandHealth/home

I'm sorry ji. I read about 3 pages and came across this:

After going through all the posts we have decided that everyone is a winner. Prize distribution ceremony will commence now...

jassa gets akj dastar as his prize.

_!_GUPT_!_ is being awarded the nihung bana.

From this day we pass a resolution that no nihung will ask an akj to take off their nihung bana because it belongs to the nihungs. Same applies to the akj dumalla, nihungs can wear it too without being asked to remove it by the akj.

Nihungs are Akjs pagg-vatt veers/bhens. Akjs are nihungs bana-vatt veers/bhens.

Taksalis still have monopoly over the kirpan , we'll decide about that as soon as a new group on facebook fights about its autheticity.

All other posters who contributed in this thread will get a kachera autographed by ANT4RJ4MI.

It made me laugh. Also the context in relation to a facebook group for me is out of proportion but the serious comments like yours are respectable for making it a proper meaningful discussion.

On the poll it seems like Medics are in the lead :D

The last time I wrote I found a thread hilarious I got told off. Anyways I am glad to know saint-soldier has found comedy value too...

I use coconut oil for my hair....

Anyways for my body I use johnsons baby oil - does it really give white hair....you see sometimes when I am lazy I am not bothered to heat the coconut oil so I use Johnsons instead so I would like to know...

Also another thing I was talking about this to my friend. Basically we both use oil. She uses oil before she showers. So she keeps it in her hair for an hour beforehand and then washes it out. I however use it after I have showered so I do not wash it out. Whats the right way?

i would love to go to one of these things. Maybe someone should organise a pinic for the Uk sikhsangat....who wants to plan it?

Oh go on do the honors! :lol:

What about Sikhsangat veggie BBQ! :gg:

I don't mind planning it. I would even make a poster for it and advertise it properly but I cannot do it on my own. I need a team. We will need to set up on the day, someone to pick people up, someone to organise the food stuff, someone to take care of the fun and games side of things. And then where do we hold it? What day? What time? I wish I was in California, we don't have any beaches in the UK unless we go to Cornwall but then thats gonna be expensive....where are we gonna get the money from

i didnt mean to cause any trouble with this topic but it seems like everyone has had a little argument

Basically can everyone please report this group to get rid of it as it is NOT nihang bana its guru ji's bana!

*END OF TOPIC*

If you want to get rid of the group then send Matt an email or send a message to the Creator of the facebook group. Make the message polite or alternatively direct them to this sikhsangat thread (by the way this thread is hilarious!). All I can say is that I am glad I do not belong to any Jatha because its evident that own jatha pride gets in the way and makes such a simple thing very messy!!

Also another thing: facebook is a social network. Its not accurate and most things are light hearted jokes. I honestly would have not taken offence at that group....there's so many groups on there that could cause offence but people just treat it like innocent fun....like the punjabis are better than guju's group....the jatt group...the tarkans are the best group...or the drs are better than dentist group or the I am from America so I am better than you.....or the perisans are the superior race...I am sure all of these groups would offend someone but we can see the lightheartedness....

Oh if you haven't found it then join the sikhsangat group. They only have 30 members. I am sure we can make it go into its thousands! http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24315450543

i would love to go to one of these things. Maybe someone should organise a pinic for the Uk sikhsangat....who wants to plan it?

Basically you have to adjust it to your parent's personality. I am suprised they have never mentionned any rista stuff to you; I thought every asian got teased about rista and marriage. lol. Anyhooo I would do it like this

'so wat age did u get married?'.....then he/she says the age

Then you say 'yea thats around my age *pause and do ure thinking face*...then say 'hmmmm if you got married around my age then do you think its about time I got married'......and wait.

Personally I would do it with both of them in the room but if thats scary then target them one by one. I would go for the mum first because mums understand subtle hints more. However it all depends on how your household is. Let me know how the above line works out. Hopefully it should work but if it doesn't then I have backup plan B.

My sister learns tabla at bebe ki gurdwara, hockley in Birmingham...its near Soho Road gurdwara below the flyover going to the city centre. The Gurdwara looks kinda deserted and has unfinished building work...but I like to think of it as being like the freezing cold Namdhari gurdwara - the building might need more work but there is excellence in music.

You didn't say if you were from Birmingham but if you are then this is the best place to learn. Its taught by Narinder and the teaching is all classical. They are actually trying to do gurmat sangeet how it was in the olden days with sarangi and tabla as opposed to harmonium....its very interesting.

Anyhoo like you I've had many teachers. Half of them recommended on this thread I would not go to learn off (won't mention which names).

This class is an early morning class. You can go on Saturday or Sunday at 6-7am. I know most people are in bed at that time but its worth getting up for! If you want you can test out all the teachers mentionned here too. Actually thats probably the best thing to do

Ok, very well explained...now I know....so now the question is why are not all amritdhari's following these rules? For example, I know a vey few Gursikhs who do eat out....but are also chardikalla.

The answer to this is that no two people following the same religion will follow it exactly the same. Also in general its accepted that we incorporate things into our life once they start makin sense to us. Ie just because our faith says do not remove ure hair: this does not mean people follow it. Infact suprisingly the majority of Sikhs actually cut or remove their hair.

But we must remember that someone might cut their hair and later on they may start keeping hair. This is cos they understood/had the belief and hence they incorporated it into their life. Likewise someone will keep this rehat when they feel the need to make it part of their life. That's why a Sikh is always a learner.

Also I think there is a misconception that once you have taken Amrit you are perfect. Infact taking Amrit is merely an initiation ceremony-you commit yourself to not turn your back to the Guru and you commit to lifelong learning and things like this will fall into that life long learning.

Anyways I don't think we should focus on why other people are not doing certain things. Instead we should plan our own learning and try to make ourselves the best we can be.

I am going to be very sort of naive here, but I can't see what the difference it has on cooked or non-cooked food,

I don't mind questions and no question is ever naive. I think you people are confused. From what I can gather your thinking its cos non gursikhs are untouchable and so anything nongursikhs touch becomes impure. This is absolutely not the reason. It's not about looking down upon anyone; the people concerned only want their food made a certain way.

I have about 8 mins to explain this before I have to go and catch my train home so please excuse me if my explanation is short.

So let me begin explaining - This rehat involves the belief that you are what you eat. The society we live in already believes this so many of you will already agree. eg eat chips you get fatty deposits in your artery. However this rehat does not stop there - it actually goes further. It believes in sucham. A lot of Indians already have that belief so you will all understand that. However it does not even stop there – it goes one step further by also believing that the people who prepare the food ie cooking, the environment it is cooked ie whether japping naam or not also has an influence on you. So in this case: you are what you eat is not only the food you eat but also who and where it was made.

The best example I can give of this is when we take amrit. Amrit is simply water and pitassa. But it has to be prepared by Panj Pyare Gursikhs and you have to jap naam. I could literally get tap water and throw some pitassa in and say voila amrit but none of u would say its amrit. This rehat is basically the same, the preparation of food is just as important as the food itself.

Also in the rehat you are not fussed about the raw materials ie the water, the milk, the apple....just like in the amrit ceremony you don't fuss about the water: its actually the making process or cooking which has to be in a gursikh environment.

if they go to supermarket, shop, you can also find cooked meals and food stuff then that really makes that particular Gursikh a hypocrite....

Your right - those who keep the rehat don't buy ready made meals at the supermarket. Also they don't eat at restaurants unless they are sure of how the food is made. Nearly 100% of the time they always make their own food and take roti and sabji to work.

but as per singstahs post...the link he has given says that this rehit is not a necessity and that a person who recites the lords name can accept food from anyone (not sure if it says exactly like this tho)...

I looked at Singhstah's link. Its a blog so its not an informational site...but the info on there is good..Also nothing is wrong with the quote you wrote out but you missed the context in which it was written. The person is saying something similar to - there is no point in japping naam if you do evil deeds. It doesn't mean there is no point in japping naam cos naam japping is important. Likewise if you can - you should try to keep this rehat but not at the expense of other things ie naam jap.

then there is the argument, why drink Milk, surely that comes from an animal and you can't have an amritdhari animal,

I think I have answered this above. Its the actual cooking as opposed to the raw goods.

and is say prepared by the animal and of course cheese...most of us eat it and is prepared and cooked by non-sikhs...I am pretty confused about this bibek thing...but surely someone has a definite answer to this.

People who keep the rehat don't eat shop cheese, just like they don’t eat ready meals. I hope thats made it clear.

Gonna catch my train now Ji.

I think we should respect people's lifestyle. As people may or may not know there are group of Gursikhs who only eat food cooked by Gursikh people. This is actually part of their rehat. Shopping for raw things like potatoes, vegetables from shops such as Sainsburys is okay as its not cooked food. As is being served by people at Sainsburys for these raw goods....but you see the actual cooking has to done by fellow Gursikhs.

Since it is part of their Amritdhari Rehat then I think we should stop trying to force them to break it.

Anyways to bring the thread back to topic: sher_punjabi did u find a shop?

EDIT: Sorry it seems Singhstah said it before me. lol

This problem came about due to huge public scrutiny of superbugs like MRSA. The hospitals in essence responded by introducing all these policies however no one knows if they make a signnificant difference ie do we actually know whether wearing kara increases infection rates?

In my opinion they need to conduct more studies before writing everything off as being infectious. Also as msckan said I too refuse to take my kara off when people are allowed to wear wedding rings. Anyways enough of my opinion: I think msckan you should google for the sikh doctors medical association and see if they help with this sort of thing. Otherwise all the best and let us know the outcome.

In the olden days it was mother, father, then mummy, daddy, then mum and dad. Likewise language is always changing.

Veer actually means warrior. In the olden days girls would call their brothers warriors ie veerji.....then people started calling brothers bhai ji....and from BHAI JI people shortened it to PAJI. Likewise people shortened the word BHEN JI to PENJI for girls.

Personally I prefer to say Veer Ji rather than Paji since the word Veer has heritage and a deeper meaning. But each to their own.

My mum is a Gursikh and she works in catering - she can make Barfi and Samosa. Let me know number needed or give me a call

ooooo HaPpY BiRtHdaY Veerji...I hope all ure wishes come tru and u continue to have a blessed Gursikhi jeevan.

ah thats really interesting. I'm gonna ask u more questions but later on!

I find this really interesting. Would you be able to list all 36 please??

really sitargirl?

then guess this ones

my mates name

a*r*t*a** **n*h

ooOOoo I see a new game forming...

Amritsaar Singh btw I am not going to post anymore!!!!!

This doesn't sound gd...anyone wanna answer my question???