HarmandeepSingh

Vaheguru, OK people, I'm no guru on these matters but have been through enough in life (love marriage, deception, affairs, kids, bitter divorce, court battles for children and finances!) to share my experience and thoughts which may have some logic behind them, so here goes! As a man, I am now savat-surat, although have not taken amrit yet, intend to in the very near future, once I am ready to take on the full responsibility of doing so. I have had a turban most of my life and had a trimmed beard up until 2 years ago, but have since not touched any hair on my body, as I have now come to understand what it really means (or should I say how little it means to trim/cut it, read on). So does this make me a good sikh guy? Absolutely no way, in fact I would say the majority of the baptised sikhs, gianis, singhs etc... I have met in life, have ultimately turned out to be crooks. Although we all strive to be good, try and do our daily prayers etc.... many fellow singhs soon show their true colours and attachment to money, greed, lies etc... OK, maybe they might not drink, smoke, be vegetarian etc... but they still have big attachment to maya and tell lies. Very few (including myself) have finally conquered the five vices truely. Now for the women. In complete contrast to the men, the majority of fully baptised sikh women I have met (which there are very few in society, compared to the men, so I can count them on the fingers of my hands), have been more true to the teaching of our gurus than the men. I'm talking about the mothers/sisters/daughters who wear full bana including turban etc... and make no attempt at removing facial hair, eyebrows, putting on make up etc... because in my opinion for a woman to stop removing facial hairs and decorating their faces with make up, is a major sacrifice in todays society. That in itself shows how true the woman is to the gurus teachings and ultimately god. I'm not saying all amrit chakiya, savat-soorat, singhs are crooks and I'm not saying all amrit chakiya, savat-soorat, full bana wearing women are perfect but there is definitely a high probability of this being true. Many sisters/brothers keep their hair, wear the 5Ks and try and follow Rehat first (all external) and then start working on the true teachings of gurbani which is all about working on the internal (Naam japna to conquer and control the 5 chor: kam, krodh, lobh, moh & hankar). However; it is only when I started working on the true teachings of gurbani first (internal), that I realised how little the external rehats mean and I automatically ended up keeping my savat-soorat because all ego goes about trying to look good in front of a mirror or for todays modern society, when God gave us this natural form. To cut the story short, I believe, if you can find a true 'kaur', who has given up trying to look good for the world by following the latest bollywood/hollywood trends and is trying to look good for the true guru and the way god made her and is making every attempt to look modest/decent in the natural way God made her, then you have a very high chance of things working out. Unfortunately, we men are the real problem because we let our eyes deceive us. I myself fell for the good looks, fair skin, nice hairstyles, shaved legs/arms etc... I was once attracted to the bollywood/hollywood looks, tight, revealing clothes etc... So how can I blame the women, when things go wrong for me as a result of chasing after these things. It took for me to have my wife cheat on me, after having 3 kids and then going through a bitter divorce to discover I had been chasing the wrong women all my life. 12 years after getting married, I went back and read the 4 laavan and found the true meaning about what they are saying. They talk about the 'soul' bride. And in this 'grist' jeevan (real world) we are supposed to live in (instead of becoming hermits) as our gurus demonstrated/taught us, the laavan talk about two souls becoming one, because they are both on the right path. Finally to the veerji who started this post and to all the other brothers/sisters who have replied since. If you are following the true guru's teachings then whatever the future holds for you is perfect. Look for a partner who is also following the true guru and to summarise, for a woman to not pluck her eyebrows, facial hair or wear any make up and wear a turban, is a big sacrifice in 2011, whether it be a pind, khoo, city, India or the Western world. Her foundations will be solid. She could be like this from birth, or may be a divorcee who may have gone through some struggles herself to find the true meaning of life. One more question for all the brothers out there who are panicking about getting married or their current spouses walking out on them. How perfect have you been through your life as a guy, to be suspicious about the woman? We should lead by example and treat others the way we want to be treated. Truth is most guys will have had pre marital affairs or will have cheated during their marriage, but are worried about the women doing the same. Rabb Raakha Harman Singh

Vaheguru, Another good move is: Imagine you've just had a bath/shower and are drying your back with a towel. Just about sums up Bhangra and what it's worth. Good for drying your back and changing light bulbs! Rabb Raakha Harman

VAheguru, Yes, just contact www.pmkc.co.uk or pop along to the weekly Swindon diwans, as detailed on the website, to attend the diwans live. Rabb Raakha

Vaheguru, You can get a DVD of the Southall program from www.pmkc.co.uk, or simply pop along to the weekly diwan at Swindon (as detailed on the www.pmkc.co.uk website), where DVD can be obtained. Rabb Raakha

Vaheguru, Veerji, it is our Kam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh & Hankar that causes us to wear clothes. If we were completely pure, we wouldn't need to wear clothes because we would never look at another without any ill desires. Story of Adam and Eve illustrates this point clearly. Natural rain washed the grass. Poisonous snakes have an equal right to live somewhere, just as we do. I am not looking for an excuse to cut my hair but a good explanation of why I cut the grass. If that was the case, I wouldn't be posting on this forum but heading down to the barbers. Stone age man would literally eat the fruit/vegatables off the trees and in a way I feel I need to go back to that level to conquer the five vices. I believe a lot of what we do has become nothing more than a ritual/culture. Again, what right has man got to cut the grass? Equally, what right has man got to cut his hair? Still not had a valid explanation. Rabb Raakha Harman

Vaheguru, Sorry, I do not get your point at all. I did not become a Singh by choice, I was born into a Sikh family as one. My birth certificate has Singh written on it before I had a choice in the matter. However; I choose to not cut my hair but I choose to cut my garden hedge and the grass. Why do these two choices contradict one another? Keeping my hair but cutting the hedge/grass are 'actions' that I carry out, so they must have a reason behind them. My body was born of the five elements and the grass/hedge grow from this earth made of five elements - what is the difference for me being allowed to cut one and not the other? Rabb Raakha Harman Singh

Vaheguru, I have been faced with a dilemma for the past two weeks that I simply cannot get my head around, literally! I was trimming the overgrown hedge in my front garden and cutting the grass when it hit me. The fact that I am trying to be a true Gursikh and have stopped trimming my beard or cutting my hair. So much so that I feel to conquer the five vices, I have to go as far as not tying/styling my beard and avoid using a mirror/pins etc... to style my turban, which are all forms of showing off my appearance to others. If I feel so strongly about not cutting my hair then why is it ok to trim the garden hedge and cut the grass? Should we not just let it grow wild and live life in a jungle? I understand the concept of cutting fruit/vegetables when they have reached a ripened state and will fall off the tree/plant and die anyway. But my garden hedge is evergreen and will carry on growing no matter what, just like my hair! Thinking about this is doing my head in now and I can't find a good explanation. A big thank you, in advance, to anyone who can solve this dilemma for me. Rabb Raakha Harman Singh

Waheguru. UPDATE TO PREVIOUS POST: As mentioned in the post above i was going to contact Bhai Ajit Singh. I called him this evening and did not realise that he has a full time job. He was still more than happy to take the time to answer my question. To be honest a lot of what he said went over my head as i am still very new to not only Swindon but Naam japna full-stop. I have led a very manmukh jeevan and still do to some extent, so do not have the level of understanding about Gurbani that Bhai Ajit Singh does. I do however have access to 'Sikhi To The Max' which allows me to search myself to confirm what Bhai Ajit Singh was quoting from gurbani. To summarise Bhai Ajit Singh said the following: 1. Not everyone goes through the stages of fits. 2. It is not something that would happen with you doing simran on your own in a room. 3. It is not due to a breathing problem/hyper-ventilation/suffocation etc... 4. It has something to do with us being in 'Tregun' and when we awaken our sleeping 4th stage ??? 5. He mentioned words such as 6th house, 'Paun', 'Shabd Surt' ??? 6. He said it could well happen to me and only then would i truly understand what the people having the fits are experiencing. 7. When people have fits they are basically in a state of ecstacy and do not want to stop/leave the state their in, the fits are them putting up a fight of some sort to not return from that state ??? 8. The people who have fits are failing to do something correctly which causes the fits. They are then taught further techniques of how to stop having the fits and reach the blissful state, calmly, without injuring themselves or others. 9. The reason people don't see this happening in other factions of Sikhs is because these methods have become 'gupt' are only being rediscovered now ??? Bhai Ajit Singh said he would dedicate a future diwan to explain this whole 'fit' thing further in the coming few weeks and asked that i attend and both see and practice for myself, as it will further clarify why the fits happen. Unless i have a fit myself, i don't think I'll ever understand exactly what the select few are experiencing and why. I guess that applies to many things in life. I could tell someone how nice a Mango tastes as much as i want but they'll never know what it tastes like until they taste it themselves. Even then, their tastes may differ and they may not like it at all! We are all individuals as 'manmukhs' but have all come from one god and realise this as 'gurmukhs'. I will continue to go to Swindon because nothing that Bhai Ajit Singh preaches feels outside the Gurbani. When someone has a fit in the Sangat, Bhai Ajit Singh will try and break the fit by stopping the 'Waheguru' simran with 'WJKK WJKF'. The kirtan is also amazing as well as the Tabla player (who i am hoping to pick up some new techniques from!). I will attend approx 10 more diwans as well as the one week course at the end of July. I think i will be in a better position to post a more meaningful reply in August sometime. Who knows i may even persuade Bhai Ajit Singh to post his own reply to this thread!!! I don't feel i am in any position to dismiss or do 'Ninda' of something i have no understanding about, after only attending two diwans. History shows how our own gurus toiled for years before getting their message across. I think we are so entangled in this rat race of a world, we expect answers immediately to everything. I believe the saying goes something like this: "Sehaj Pake So Mitha Hoey, Kali Agey Toey' Every morning when we wake up: 1. When we first open our eyes, if only we thanked god for giving us sight 2. When we first hear something, if only we thanked god for giving us hearing 3. When we first say something, if only we thanked god for giving us a voice 4. When we first touch something, if only we thanked god for the hands he has given us 5. When we first stand on our feet, if only we thanked god for giving us a complete body I understand there may be people who have some sort of disability but whatever they still have functional, the above can still apply for those bodily functions. If we could go through our daily routine remembering the above, no problem would ever seem like a problem. I thank god for giving me a full able body and have been using a new technique which is working wonders for me. Every time i face a problem or am about to get angry/worried about something, i close my eyes and imagine if i were blind. My problem, anger and worries disappear! We spend our lives criticising and moaning and rarely stop to thank god for all he has given us. Waheguru

Waheguru. THE GOOD: I have just started attending the Swindon diwans this month. Have only been to two so far. I must say that everything Bhai Ajit Singh says 'feels' true, deep within. He explains Gurbani, not with his own words, but using other sections of Gurbani. He will answer your questions about Gurbani, using Gurbani and that surely can't be a bad thing? In this Sunday's diwan he said there are 3 important things ("1. To say Waheguru", "2. To listen to yourself saying it") he said no matter how much you do this, it is futile if you do not do "3. Live your daily life honestly and truthfully as a gurmukh would". None of this feels wrong to me at all. I also raised some questions with Bhai Ajit Singh at the end, as he welcomes as many questions from the sangat as they want to ask. He answered my question as a true Gurmukh and again his answer felt right. This sunday's topic in particular was about 'Ninda/Chugli etc...' (I did listen carefully, although my eyes were on the Tabla player, as i am learning to play myself!!!). Bhai Ajit Singh also mentioned we should not bad mouth anyone (including other factions of Sikhs, other religions, anyone), as we are all God's creation. To see God, all you need to do is look around you as his creation is everywhere. If you bad mouth or find fault in anyone or anything, you are bad mouthing and finding fault in God's creation because ultimately he is the one true creator of everything. I don't like to think about things as being right or wrong (as that easily leads us to fear, hate, anger, suffering, as Yoda would say!), it also leads us to pride and ego. I like to look at things being on different paths in life and we have to try and focus ourselves to the path we want to be on. Ultimately, even this is in God's hands and we can only live according to his Kirpa. So to summarise, everything Bhai Ajit Singh has said in the past two weeks feels right and i will be going again this Sunday. If not for anything but for the amazing Kirtan. The Sunday's diwan uplifts me for the week ahead, so again, it can't be a bad thing. THE BAD: The one thing i still fail to understand is why the guy sitting 3 feet to my right, lept up in the air like a frog and started having what one can only describe as "an epileptic fit". He accidentally knocked the turban off the guy sitting next to him when his arms were flailing around. He wasn't the only one this happened to, as there were several others, and a woman towards the end of the Diwan. When this happened to them, others had to restrain them and layed them down. The feet pointing towards SGGS (in this particular circumstance, when the person seems to have lost control of their body) does not worry me too much. I always remember hearing the story of Guru Nanak Dev Ji's feet pointing to Mecca and him telling the 'maulwi' that God is everywhere. So i'm not sure why we make such of a big deal about not pointing the feet towards SGGS, because surely God is everywhere. Is a bad person, who doesn't point his feet towards SGGS any better than a good person who lives his life according to SGGS but may point his feet towards it? Getting back to the point. It was a real distraction seeing the fits and has got me thinking. Not about Bhai Ajit Singh and what he preached but the about the people that have the fits. I also cannot comprehend or understand the following scenarios: 1. Did our ten gurus go through this stage of having fits? 2. Did Bhai Ajit Singh himself have these fits? 3. What would happen to someone doing Waheguru simran in their own at home, if they had a fit? 4. Is it all simply down to the way these people are breathing, which causes them to hyper-ventilate or simply starve themselves of oxygen because they don't know how to breathe properly? SUMMARY: Apart from the fits, I have heard or seen nothing bad going on at Swindon. In fact, they seem to be taking a fresh approach to things. In that Bhai Ajit Singh receives no money when doing Kirtan and was himself serving Parshadas to the sangat at the end; rather than sitting in some hidden room giving Naam in privacy. He made a point of doing it in the Sangat. There is no committee at the PMKC Swindon gurudwara as it is run purely by the sangat. The cynic in me sometimes wonders if it is this 'positive' change that others are afraid of because it hurts their own pockets? CONCLUSION: So i have questions which need answering. Rather than thinking up answers of my own, i will ask Bhai Ajit Singh myself today. As he openly gives out his phone number and welcomes any questions. In my opinion it is always best to get the news "Straight from the Horse's Mouth" as they say. Once i have spoken to Bhai Ajit Singh, i will post his answer here, which i hope will clear both mine and the rest of the sangat's doubts about what is going on. As for the lady who put up the original post i can say only one thing (not that i am wise or have much experience in life): "Do what YOU feel is right within YOU. Anything you do whilst meditating on God, can only be right, if you did it with true love and affection for God. If someone is forcing you to do something then you will be living your life as a slave, which is wrong. Here our gurus have taught us to defend ourselves (not by pulling out a sword or fighting) but by exhausting every means available to us, before resorting to the sword." Waheguru. 5.