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Hanu

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Everything posted by Hanu

  1. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh Are there any types of cheeses that are not permissible for us to eat in our diet? If so, which ones are they? Thank you. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh
  2. I second that, that this is not ultimately the place you should be looking for help. Hukamnama has already spoken, so you have the religious front already directing you. It is typical of abusers to apologize profusely then abuse again, apolotize profusely, then abuse again, ad nauseum. They are sick people, they need help, but until they get a lot of it, you are stuck with a lot of pain and humiliation, fear, and potential violence and even death. Go to your family's house and contact a hotline for battered wives, and if you need quicker help, the police. It's not just your pain any more, it's your kid's too. And don't feel sorry for your husband. Sick though he may be, any man who mistreats a woman has lost his deservingness for pity. Best of luck to you. I don't know your name, but I will keep you in my prayers.
  3. The Sikh Coalition has a Kirpan Resources Page http://sikhcoalition.org/InfoKirpan.asp Go to the bottom and see which of these documents would be effective for you to carry around with you. Perhaps one of them indicates size limitataions. I think SC has offices in California, so California rules are probably also taken into account here (I am referring to a later post). I don't know where you are from, but even if you are not from the US, at least some kind of literature on your person at all times is preferable to trying to explain to someone cold that you belong to a religion they have never heard of and that that "hidden weapon" (according to their vocabulary) is part of your way of fulfullling your relligious obligations. To answer your question more directly, if the police grab you for a kirpan do not resist, explain you are Sikh, that is a kirpan, a ritual dagger which you wear as part of your religion, you have (you should by then) paperwork in your backpack explaining it, do not fight or argue with them if they try to make you take it off or take it away from you. They have guns and you can eventually get it back or get a new one but if you freak them out and they think you are going to attack them there is only one of you. That might sound a little dramatic, but you can't be too careful with police. On the other hand they might not care. I haven't heard anybody's story of being accosted by the police for kirpan possession, and it hasn't happened to me, though I am often expecting it, so I have no true idea what would happen. I do carry at all times court papers from decisions indicating that kirpan is a religious article protected by the First Amendment and is not a weapon and that it is incorrect for police to stop individuals for carrying one or confiscate it. Just in case. Your question is very pertinent, so much that the SC itself dedicates an entire page of its site to the issue, so you are not alone in your anxieties. Best of luck.
  4. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh! Maybe you are in pain, or lonely, or ill and don't know it so your energy is drained making you irritable. Maybe you need to talk to someone about your feelings or go see the doctor and get a check-up. It is good, at least, that you understand that your actions are inappropriate. Now, time to find the motivations. Be kind to yourself first of all, because if you can't be kind to yourself, you can't be kind to other people, so be kind to yourself, and get the help and check out I mentioned above and see if any of those are the sources. I mean, you could be clinically depressed, something which makes people massively irritable, but it is treatable. When you say your prayers at night, even during the day, ask for help in finding the underlying problem and fixing it. Sure, it will pass, but it will pass a lot faster with a little footwork on your part. Waheguru bless you! Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
  5. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh! Veerji, this is very good advice for me to be getting, because it is a lot I keep forgetting. Thank you for the reminder. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
  6. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh! Your kirpan snuck out at the gym, mine snuck out at home and my roommate (of one month) went on a rage with the landlord to try to get it so I couldn't even OWN it. Since I'm in U.S. I had to get Sikh Coalition involved, and I've been a bit of a nervous wreck since, since every time I walk through the apartment to go to the bathroom or something I'm afraid it's going to sneak out and cause a huge argument (my kirpan has Ik Onkar Satnam Waheguru engraved on the shaft, I don't take lightly to being told to remove it). Sikhi is a religion of sacrifice and martyrdom. What you and I are going through, our anxiety is the sacrifice, but we must face also through probably legal means, me with the Coalition, you probably by facing the head of the that company with legal paperwork showing that a judge decreed a kirpan is not a weapon but is a religious article whose used is protected by law and maybe even next step a lawsuit. Between you and me, I've never been casual about wearing a kirpan; I've always been nervous about going through checkpoints, to the doctor, to hospital, public buildings like court house, etc., bending over and it popping out on the street, so many places where unknowledgeable people will misconstrue--and you're already wearing a turban which here (New York City) means you are up to no good anyway... Best of luck to you. Hope you find a gym where you are comfortable and feel at home and can get some kind of satisfaction from these other people. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
  7. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh! Veerji, thank you so much for your kind offer and for your words of encouragement, but I am not living in UK but in New York City, so I cannot take advantage of your offer unfortunately. However, very kind of you. I will keep on the right track, and when Waheguru Ji wills it, something will happen. I am keeping my head covered, uncovering it literally only to wash and comb, and I am saying my nitnem and simran on a daily basis as prescribed. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
  8. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh! I put mine up on Facebook. It's called "My Turban Is My Crown". Please stop by, drop a few suggestions on the wall. It's very basic, no informaton that you and I don't already know, but I tried to make it educational so the average viewer would stop and think next time they see one of the negative pages, maybe think enough to hit the "report" button. In any case this is the first time I've done this, so I could use some input. Cheers!
  9. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh! Veerji, thank you so much. My kapra is single, I have one 5 metre I had chopped from 7 metres, and several 7 metre kapras. I actually was watching this exact video for the triangular dastar last night and I was like "Oh my goodness! I could never do that!" Iit looks so daunting. But don't you have to fold beforehand? The dumalla actually looks a lot easier. But as the video closed was he going to be putting on a third pagg? For the dumalla do you cut the 10 metre kapra in half to make the two separate pieces? Yes, I should be asking jiani jis at the gurudwara, was using the flyers to get around the formality and be a little more casual, but I don't think many people at my gurudwara (not that many kheshdhari either I think) speak much English, so my flyers could have been more of a confusion than ever a help. Thank you again!
  10. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh! That's maybe not a bad idea, considering the fact that the more of the derogatory pages you get closed down, the more of them seem to pop up. It would do two things in the long run: It would not only counteract the negative pages, it would act as a forum to educate people on Sikhi, a much needed thing generally but especially when there is stilll a lot of harrassment and bashing going on. Your idea is Brilliant! I will try to put up a page of my own this afternoon. I'll call it, if the name is available, "MY TURBAN IS A CROWN", so look for it in a day or two, hopefully there will be no problems setting it up.
  11. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh I took Amrit about 6 weeks ago and since then have been wearing keski because I do not know how to tie a correct pagg, and the keski themselves are not really well tied either, kind of ridiculous. I put up flyers on two occasions at my gurudwara asking for someone to show me how to tie (I don't know anyone personally there), but no takers, none of my Sikh friends are Kheshdhari so they have no idea. I wrote once to this forum and somebody said to put the cloth on the bed with a weight, fold half, then weight down the other half, which made sense in writing but didn't work when I tried it because the cloth is too long for the bed. When I try to fold with the doorknob I can control only the first metre or two, then the rest is loose and gets ropey during the tying. So this is where I'm at. I did find a very good tying tutorial on a video, a general pagg with notch in the front for a patka or fifty to show through which is what I want, and I have practiced enough that I think with properly folded cloth I can pulll it off ok, but the problem is that when the tutor folds the cloth at the beginning he has helper--which doesn't show me how to fold it by myself. Every single you tube or other video I see of pagg tutorial has two or three people folding the cloth. I know that every single person wearing pagg in the world does not have a wife/husband/younger brother/etc. to fold their cloth with them in the morning--they are doing it alone, there must be a do-it-alone trick. What is the trick? How do you fold a 5 or 7 meter long cloth, with control and tightness and sharpness so your pagg looks good? Thank you so much for your help. You have no idea how tired I am of looking ridiculous.
  12. That was a very good beat. Thank you. Thank you for the good thoughts. I agree, a lot of modern Panjabi music is degrading or at least mind-numbing, but I am a rhythm freak, always looking for that dhol or dholika to boost me up. Maybe I can find some recordings of the kind you posted. Don't get me wrong, though I have recordings of kirtan music and listen to that too. LOL! But what about the fabric softener? Thank you for your insightful reply.
  13. Very good advice, thank you.
  14. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Wahegur ji ki Fateh Is it appropriate for a Singh/Kaur to be listening to their headphones while walking, on train, in laundermat, etc., instead of looking out for those possibly in need of help and repeating God's name? Frankly, it doesn't look good, but sometimes the urge for that dhol beat is irresistible. Are there any regulations I should be following? Thank you very much for your thoughtful advice.
  15. Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh Things are sure to look up for you, but in the meantime that world is a much better place for your presence! Good for you! You are what it's all about.
  16. None of us are no one without Waheguru. All of us have something very important to say. Satnam Waheguru ji.
  17. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh Thank you so much. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh Yes, I'm going to try the weights. Never would have thought of that on my own! Thank you very much!
  18. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh It wasn't so long ago I took Amrit. Like I said in a previous post, so many things were discussed that it left room for other things to be left out or discussed in a way that wasn't perfectly clear to me (and other things maybe not even appropriate to discuss there). I am coming here to hopefully fill in some gaps. 1) When you give your 10% of your earnings to Guru do you place it on the Palki (which means someone could grab it) or do you write a check to the gurudwara and mail it to the office/president? 2) During the discourse of the Amrit ceremony, it was explained that after our bath in the morning when we leave the house we must have our hair covered in pagg but before we leave the house we can let our head remain uncovered so our hair can dry. But the first thing you do after your bath is recite Gurbani, so I am not clear if I misunderstood him to mean you can say your Gurbani bare headed while your hair is drying, which I don't understand. Please, what is the truth of the matter? 3) My next question: Are you supposed to wash your kachcherey by hand instead of in a washing machine? I've been washing mine by hand simply out of fear that in a machine the drawstrings would get yanked out, but something tells me that even if I secured the strings with a safety pin washing them in a machine would be disrespectful or something. What is the truth of the matter? 4) I am having pagg problem. I have learned very well from videos how to tie a general pagg but I cannot get the folding right with one end on the doorknob (5 or 7 metre), it all just twists to rope. The videos all show two people folding the cloth, so there is uniformity and thinness and control which I simply cannot get alone on a doorknob. Do you have any suggestions for obtaining that with a doorknop, videos, etc.? My goal is to have a general pagg with a fifty. 5) Is it ok to listen to my MP3 player on long walks, on train, at laundromat, etc., or are those days over? 6) At the Amrit during the discussion on diet, I was told to be careful in restaurants regarding possible foods with geletain in them. Another thing I am aware of is that in hard cheeses there is an enzyme from a pig's stomach called rennet which is what makes the cheese go hard. Mozarella cheese is mushy, so I am not sure what the rennett content is, but do you definitely are we allowed to eat pizza? (Kosher pizza is different because it is totally vegetarian cheese, no milk no rennett, but here I am asking about the typical corner pizzaria). Thank you very much for all your great help. It is very helpful.
  19. I eat lots of chana masala with yoghourt (keeps down the gas as well as being extra protein and is very tasty), and mainly chapati (whole wheat more protein but I like white flour best) or rice. I also like cold tofu sandwiches with the works. Sometimes I like a snack of lowfat yoghurt or cottage cheese. Some 1 or 2% milk is a good addition too. My diet is basically dal or chana, though, mostly chana as it is heartier.
  20. I eat lots of chana masala, old standby. Very good protein. The more you eat it, the less gassy it is, so if you haven't been eating it for a whle, don't worry about the gas. Eat with rice and or chapati (espec. whole wheat), and it will be a balanced protein I believe.
  21. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh This is very tragic. She may have tried to make the marriage last in order to save her mother's dignity, but out of her desperation she destroyed not only herself but ironically her mother's dignity and caused her the pain of losing a daughter in such a way. There is no reason for a woman to remain in abusive circumstances. If the man is absuive from the outset it is clear that he is not going to change and that things are not going to get better. So many women get caught up in marriages or other types of relationships that are destructive to them because the men are simply wicked, that it is astounding. And because of wanting to save their reputation, their family's reputation, fear of the man, emotional manipuation, because children are involved, or whatever, the women remains in the relationship and tragedy results. BTW, burning is an extremely painful way to go. Either that girl had no idea what she was doing or she was so desperate she was willing to undergo that kind of physical anguish to get away from that man. How can such events be avoided in the future? Staying with that man for more abuse and the final suicide were all that girl's decisions, no one could stop her. Only some kind of education about how it is not going to destroy their families' reputations if they separate or get divorced from abusive spouses would change the minds of girls like her. That cannot be imposed on the community, it has to come from within, because it is a cultural value. Every mother and father should tell their daughter when she is getting married, "If that man touches you in the wrong way, or does this or that... you have the right to stand up for yourself, you are a human being." It is a basic tenet of Sikhi that women have equality to men, that God exists in women as much as in men, that women give birth to prophets, doctors, etc., so why should a woman make herself vulnerable to beater/molester/abuser/drunk/etc. who violates her physically or verbally, makes her think less about herself or hurt physically or emotionally? We all know that Kaur means princess. This girl was a Kaur, and should have been treated like one. Instead she is dead, more because of her confused values than because of the monster who beat her.
  22. Thank you for your friendly words. That's a good idea to think of the poke as being a nudge from Guru Ji. Actually, this was not discussed in the volumnous amount of information that they gave us prior to or during the Amrit ceremony. I had been taking my kirpan off at night simply because it was unruly and I assumed.... But then both the meaning of it and my repeatedly hearing the words "wearing them at all times" together started me thinking "you should be wearing it to bed", which is why I asked the question. It is good to know for sure now. Thanks!
  23. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. OK. Thank you.
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