WJKK WJKF
Hi,
If anyone can help me I would greatly appreciate it.
I am an amritdhari singhani and have been married to my husband for over 3 years. From day 1 we have had problems due to his bad temper. When he loses his temper he is very verbally abusive and swears, shouts and throws things. When I first married him I was horrified at the way he spoke to me but being so newly married I thought it was an adjustment thing and that he would settle down and grow to care for me so as to not shout at me the way he was. Since then we would fight (as normal couples do) but he would be unable to let it drop and would get abusive, I would end up just sitting there and crying while he continued to shout at me. Guru Ji blessed us with a child and even that has not changed him. Now it has come to the point that when he loses his temper he has started pushing me around and has also been very rude to my family members. I had kept this all a secret till a few weeks ago when I was forced to tell my parents as he walked out on me and we were meant to be going to a day out with my family.
Everytime these episodes happen he is very apologetic afterwards and I forgive as he promises it wont happen again. He has continued to swear and shout in front of our young child even though he promised over and over again that he wouldnt!!! This really bothers me as it really affects him and he starts crying as he also gets very scared.
Everything came to boiling point a few weeks ago and he walked out on me (probably for the 50th time!!!) after stating he didnt want me. I rang my parents and they came and got me and took me to my family home- where I have been since.
I dont know what to do, Im so confused. I feel that I have done everything I can, I have forgiven him over and over again, I have done ardas and took hukamnamas for guidance. I felt before that Guru Ji wanted me to continue but the last hukamnama I was blessed with made me feel that Guru Ji was telling me to look at my sikhi and that he is a part of the worldly illusion. I dont know, I have a child and therefore its very complicated. I just feel so fed up of being treated this way, surely this is not what married life is meant to be??!!! Im scared and feel very alone.
WJKK WJKF
