Gurukameet

wjkwjkf Going back to the original thread, for me Guru Ganth Sahib is a friend. When I have no friend. Guru ji acts as my friend and guide. It is a source of immense beauty and contemplation. It is a bringer of peace and calmness to my mind. It is a light of God on earth. It is the source of the creator. It is the embodiment of love of God. Guru Granth Sahib is the only one I will bow too. It is where I am at ease and at peace. My Guru gives me acceptance in a world that is hostile. Without my Guru I would ease to exist

Waheguru I did not watch all the video because it was too horrific to see a young girl being beaten to death. What is more horrific is that is was photographed. It seems to me to be staged performance. The photographer took the photographs of a girl being beaten to death and NO one intervened at all, young and old Sikh men watched. Then some Sikh man comes at the end and waves a kirpan so pathetic, makes me so ashamed to be SIkh. One Sikh mans turban gets knocked off and the world Sikh community is in rage. There no stop coverage in the media. facebook etc.... about the humiliation and pain the girl suffered. One Sikh girl gets beaten by her own community and family and it is NOT news at all. You are blaming black magic, this black magic is usually a witch hunt. A attack on women, when something goes wrong in ones family, they look for innocent victims to lay the blame on. Usually women, this sort of crap still goes on in the Sikh in England, in some cases by devout religious Sikhs. Every one who watched the murder of this child is guilty and should be imprisoned. I too am guilty in pain watching the killings and beating of our sisters and not knowing what to do.

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ka Fateh In what circumstances can a divorce take place in Sikhism without being punished by guru ji? If you are really suffering badly violence and abuse and your safety is compromised then you should leave. You will be forgiven by Guru ji and supported, anything else, just get on with it and don't think about marriage, get on with living your life.

WJKKWJKF Don't worry Simran you will find accommodation:-) When I moved to London, it was hard at first and I went through the same problem as you, then I moved in with an old lady and it was much better. If you ask at your local Gurdwara I am sure someone will be able to help you. I am sure there is an old lady looking for company from a girl like you as well. Have faith. Good luck

WJKWJKF People with mental health disorders do alot to other people, cause alot of grieve within families and outside. If she believes she was a fearless warrior, then it she really should be on medication, before she hurts anyone. Has nobody, considered taking her to the doctors?? she really needs help, rather than condemnation. Mental health disorders are complex and people suffering from them, say all and do all sorts of things. A doctor will make a ref feral to see health professional who will be able to help her. Apologises, I really don't know much about this:-(

I don't know these people, but it seems clear to me that the person is suffering from 'split personality disorder' and should be on medication 'asap'. I hope people who know them can support them to seeing a doctor and taking medication, the 5 Singhs should have recommended that and hopefully understood, that it is a mental disorder issue.

Wjkkwjkf Thank you Bhenjee, can you please text the above number, for further details. We are grateful for your help, Bablir Bhenjee will be happy to provide further details.

The 313th Sahibzadas Sikh Scout Group (Birmingham) are looking for volunteers to work with young people in the Scouts troops sections, ages 10.5 to 14 year old's. If you are enthusiastic about outdoor life, like working with young people and can commit yourself to organising programmes, as well bringing the values and principles of Sikhi in line with Scouting fundamentals which go hand in hand, please contact the Group Scout Leader for further information and details: Balbir Kaur on 07762 652969 www.scouts.org.uk

WJKKWJKF Parshaad, don't wipe away the ghee, with tissue, rub it all over your face and hands It clears any skin dryness. It does work.

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It is not a class issue, my late mother in law was illiterate but she still read Jap Ji each day all day, sang shahads with the ladies and was such a nice lady, always helping others in the community. There is still strong divisions between castes, I go to all Gurdwaras. I don,t identify myself with any group at all, but when you do venture out to a different Gurdwara, people are suspicious, or try to join a group again entry levels are high, especially with Sikhs, but I have had English, and many other groups who do not have strong divisions and are happy to come and visit and we go out. Not to worry:-, I will live.

Sorry, I am letting off steam here, was really upset with numerous instances that have occurred. There are some wonderful Sikhs and know many many in the community, Sikhs young and old etc.. there are lots of them, I have many acquaintances. There some wonderful Sikh females, some I would go as far as saying great in the east end. But the opportunity to 'connect' on a spiritual level, discussing talking about issues, seriously and other things, there are not many, they are all too busy, well so am I. But not busy to help other people and I have always, but when it comes to people supporting me, all I see is backs turned and always, which is why I see the logic of our teachings, but I am only human and human being need 'real' friends. Or do they, why have I called myself Gurukameet, and my name is obvious, for one reason only, our only friend is our Guru, Guru Granth Sahib, so when instances like what happened on Sunday occur and this is not the first one of this kind, there have been numerous, I feel spiritually stabbed and other women's behaviour reinforcing my own poor views of SIkhs I feel really down and upset. When your only friend is the Guru and these things happen in the Gurdwara then it hurts even more, more than anything else hurts. Sorry.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ka Fateh Having experienced very little community support and kindness, from the Sikh community, I had come to the conclusion that there was logic to Sikhs behaviour. You see if we were nice to each other then it would go against Sikhi, we believe only in the Support of the Nam, everything else is farce. Great, I understand, then we are told, we need to be in a Sadh Sangat. But SIkhs all hate each other, how is that possible?? I come to terms with it by just listening and sitting in the Sadh sangat, anything more than that is a bonus. In all the 13 years I have lived in the east end, I have no Sikh female friends, they do not socialise, will not talk, other than gossip, gossip and nastiness. I have put up with it and focus my attention only listening and praising the Nam. But having seen myself and son humiliated, by having to wait 2hours to perform nam simran and then he left crying. I left too after the programme. I have put up with much, time and time again, and kept always quiet, but I told the family who pushed there childrens group first. I was hurt, now, I was practically abused by the mother saying I should not have texted her that I was upset by the committees behaviour, leaving our kids out deliberately and laughing because my son cried. We are such a small community, we have a great faith, why, can't we just be nice to each other. I have put up with so much rubbish, quietly and many, many times, felt that being in the SIkh community is a liability for females. It is. Help me. I can't, won't give up my faith but have given up with people in it, I tried to organise programmes for girls, no one turned up. By being alone with the Nam in this world, is great, it has so many advantages. I need help myself in accepting that nastiness of Sikhs is a way to bring the individuals closer to God. I keep telling myself, that, but deep inside of me there is hope, that this will change. Help me to burn this hope.

Fateh Ji You really need to see a doctor and get some tests done. Once they have identified the problem you can then work on natural ways to complement treatment from health professional. Don't leave it too late and insist that they do a number of tests to find the core of the problem. You will be fine, listen to Sukhmani Sahib everyday.

The biggest threat to Sikhism is not the lack of girls in the community, due to female foeticide. Guru Gobind Singh Ji clearly made it a demand that no female foeticide should be practised in the Sikh Community, any Sikh doing so will be excommunicated. But no other religion other than Sikhi has the highest rate of female foeticide and you have the situation we are in today, many Sikh boys with a fewer Sikh girls. I saw a matrimonial poster in some Gurdwara the ratio of available males was far smaller to the ratio of females. I can also obtain more reliable census data, other than observation, when the census data comes out, we will see the same trend. Rather than battling with the issues whatever way we can and fighting like true warriors aganist this practise, we are blaming the victims?? There are NO WARRIORS including all the new fancy martial art stuff, unless you fight for a CAUSE, if you wear a Kirpan then fight for this injustice. Like Guru Gobind SIngh Ji did, he fought against inequalities and injustice, not against victims but against those causing injustices and in this case it is happening within our own community. My absolutely last post, no apologises offering in this case.

Have faith brother. Why don't you help me decide the agenda for the talks, what would you like your daughter to be discussing, or not? If people have problems then they should also feel free to talk to someone about them, as well, I will listen. Gosh I am professional. I have to go now, I have a meeting to go too. Please decide on the agenda, sensibly, thank you.

Sorry, I meant to say I give up with you guys, you are the joker:-) MR. My group will happen, only one hour a week, but it will be a start. Nothing stopping you doing the same??? lets then compare notes?? If you dare?

I GIVE UP.

Just come from from the school run, spoke to one of the Muslim grandmothers lovely lady. She told me she and a group of 15 women everyday go to each others houses and pray from 11-2.30pm and then from 4-.730pm she goes to the Mosque to teach children. If I am prepared to give up one hour of my time for young Sikh girls and share what little I know, I get opposition from the community already!! There is a big difference in the investment that Muslims make and we do for each other. Change that and you will see a change in our girls. Make that investment.

Cool. At least I am doing something, what is so Controversial about learning how to recite the Jap-Ji?? Please explain?? What is so controversial about giving 'Girls' an opportunity to talk to other girls??? You guys get alot more learning opportunities then women, and opportunities to go out. Years ago, when I was in my mid twenties, I spoke to a girl in the kitchen Gurdwara, she was 18 I asked her about her A levels etc.. a few days later she committed suicide, she was pregnant with a Sikh man older than her, her parents would not let her marry him. If she had someone to talk to in the Gurdwara this would not have happened. Anybody, I am no expert, but I cannot recite the Jap-Ji by heart. I might not know that much, that is because as a Sikh I am still learning, but what little I know from reading Gurbani every single day for the past 22 years I can share. At least I am doing this SEVA, there are many men and people who get paid in Gurdwaras and don't do anything for young people. I knew there would some cult of Sikhi who would disagree, but that is good, at least it is making waves, and standing up to the 'Norm' and acceptable thing to do on this website which is Sikh girl bashing:-)

Okay I will stop writing and start some action. Will put a poster up this weekend at the local Gurdwara and start a girls group. Girls from the age of 11- 18 will learn how to read Jap- Ji and then we will have discussions and 'talk' they can talk to me. I am not a counsellor, but have worked in hospitals listening to patients, and can advise to the best of my knowledge and experience. I suggest that committed Sikh women out there do the same. I am sure that the 5000 views that this topic got, not all was from men and not all from Sikhs, there are other faiths as you know who will use this for 'research' for recruiting.

Really horrified at the amount of contempt some Sikh 'guys' have for females:-( Need to organise a conference to deal with the 'issues' just for girls. Went to a women's conference last week, women and technology. Women have different issues to deal with, that are more complex. Guys:- as Singhs please be the bearers of ones who promote Equality in Sikhi, if you wear the Guru's banas. Make sure SIkh girls know that, so that they know that once they see Sikh men they are 'safe' not ones who have contempt for them. But once they see Singh they know that they understand that with them that there will be no issues with dowry, abuse, acholol, make them feel safe. Wear not Guru's symbols lightly, and then not show concern, care and forgiveness for the vulnerable. Talk to girls, we they are not aliens,monsters from out of space who are here to ruin you. They are, we are the one and the same. We are one family, we have brothers, sons, fathers too. The problem also lies with older women, who need to understand support the younger ones. In an language they understand. We need to get the women out of the kitchens and talking to the girls, teaching them kirteen, etc.. majority of young SIkh girls are so desperate to learn. Who will set up the conference? For women and girls? I am happy to help out and organise it. Apologises, if I upset anyone etc... please don't blast at me.

I am struggling with this issue, I did take Amrit about two years ago, wear the 5ks etc, but I do not wear a dastaar. I do not cover my head either. I am not a youngster and none of the ladies in my age group wear a dastaar, the ladies I 'hang' out with the ladies in the Gurdwara who do the cooking and cleaning mostly. Many of them wake up in the early hours of the morning to do so. I have never seen any girl with dastaar ever doing that. Many of the elderly ladies sing kirtan amazingly, they don't wear a dastaar. Personally, the inside of me is begging me to cover my head, and I do it at home most of the time, but outside, I just can't I feel and I know I look like a Nihang and it hurts and if I cover my head with a cloth, I feel I look like a Muslim lady. I feel the girls who wear a dastaar belong to a particular group of Sikhi and you know I have never fitted in with any group of Sikhs, The entry requirements are high, you have to be either born into it or marry into one I have accepted rejection, but it has made my relationship stronger with Guru Ji. The elderly ladies are nice they don't have any territorial issues about belonging to a particular group. But having said that, they are well-known for 'gossip'. I am not that old enough to fit with them either. I still am searching for my 'sangat' very often it the concept of sharing food, with all castes, which is what 'langar' was set up for, is experienced outside the Gurdwara settings. I have had many great experiences of sharing simple food with other groups within the community. I do feel it is important to cover your head for spiritual reasons, but socially, I have seen 'ego' issues with both genders who wear the full bana, and failed to see the reasoning why they behave they do, having the choice, how do I 'wear' compassion? and 'care' these are actions, if only they were clothes, then people all over the world would bow to SIkhs. But we our ACTIONs we have the highest skewed gender ratios, more than any other religion we kill more girl foetuses than any other religion. Let us sort these things out as a matter of priority, rather than worry about our outside appearances. Apologises if I have offended anyone.

yes, please, for all those who have donated, please remember it is by 'His Grace' that we were given this maya, and to give a little bit back, we are only giving to the one who gave it to us in the first place. forgive me if I say this, asking for the money back is asking for money from you mother when she is old and fragile and unable to defend herself. I have giving as well, even though I have not been working, I know first hand that I am in the presence of saints at the academy, particularly the ladies in the kitchen, I feel it. For your own salvation, please do not say anything negative about 'saints' many who have given up there lifes for other people's children and Sikhi faith. I did Ardas today, the academy will not close. There is no financial benefit, as the number of empty properties in the recession are fast growing and it will be really sad to see the Academy empty. sorry heartbroken again.

Even though the loan has not been paid off they have totally renovated the building, with new kitchens, we used to sit on the floors to do the cook at the beginning, new toilets, new sports hall, new langar hall, new computer room, with all sorts of facilities. etc... everyone is just exhausted I think, one person cannot do everything. if it is a registered charity, then surely the charity commission must have some involvement in the decision making and it does need legally to have a treasurer, secretary, and chair. One may hates committees but it is the law of this land that all registered charities have accounts publicised. There is funding from various sources they can tap into, it is clear that Soho Road Gurdwara has tapped into public available funds. Unless they make the accounts clear they cannot tap into public funds. I do not go there much now but still :-( :-( heart broken