lost girl

My dad says: How come the Gurus had more than one wife each and now they tell us that we can only have 1 wife? How come we can't eat meat if the Gurus went hunting? If they killed an animal then of course they ate it! If we shak amrit and start doing everything according to rehit maryada, we can't survive in this country! You can not follow all the rules! Why did Gurus make so many rules? Keeping hair doesn't make anyone a good person. Look at the sardars who own liquor stores! How a person is from inside is what matters. Banda dil da saag hona chahida, that's it. Why did Guru Arjan Dev ji write maharaj di bir if there were still 5 more Gurus after him? All the bani wasn't there, so what was the rush to write maharaj di bir? Why did Guru Gobind Singh ji tell us to keep a kirpan? What is a kirpan going to do in front of gun? They should change the rules because now we have guns and more advanced technology than 1699. Why do some people say that if you bring maharaj di bir to your house for akhand paath or sadharan paath, then the ghar wale should sleep on the floor? Where does it say you have to sleep on the floor? Where does it say that if you have maharaj di bir in a downstairs room then you can't go upstairs?! This is all MANMAT! People have made up their own rules! Why do we have to go in the gurdwara with our head covered? Why can't we wear shoes inside? Look at goreya de church! They wear shoes and go inside with nanga sir! What is covering the head going to do, what difference does it make? These people are stupid fighting about tables and chairs! In 1699, in the purane zamane they didn't have tables and chairs, so of course they had to sit on the floor in langar hall. But now we got tables and chairs so what’s the big deal? What is sitting on the floor going to do to you that won't happen if you sit on a chair and eat? Yes, I believe you that Gurus said there is no jaath paath. But look, example: chumar lok do things differently. If a jatt girl marries a chumar boy, she is going to have problem because the chumars do things differently. She have to learn all the new things. See? That is why we don't marry with chumars and people from other jaath...because they do things different and believe different things that you don't believe. Why is there no story of what happened in the tent on Vaisakhi when Guru Gobind Singh readied his Panj Pyare? If there is recorded history for other things, why isn't there any information about what he did then? Some say he killed chickens, some say he killed goats. How is someone going to get up at 2 am to shower and do paath when he comes home from work at 11pm and he's tired and need sleep? See that is why we can't follow all the rules here! It is easier in Punjab because the lok are vehle (free) and they have more time to properly follow all the rules. ahhh...indeed, having these kinds of parents is juz wonderful isn't it?

mad respect to pplz taking action :doh: if it was me, i'd say hack that site ...but probably not the best solution...

thanks to everyone who has replied so far....and those who will be replying after I"ve posted this one :cool: keep inspiring me I got a new one yesterday from my mom She said we're meant to keep the kesh on our head, any other hair on our body is not necessary to keep. So in other words, its ok to do some "fashion" to look nice. My parents don't even know what a kirpan is for

I’m a lost girl lately and would love to know what you all think I should do now. This might turn into a long post so just bear with me…I got too much on my mind and don’t know where to start or how to explain exactly, so here goes nothing…. : Recently I got into Sikhi and found this was what I had been looking for all this time and I decided that some day soon I’m going to take amrit. Maybe in a year, or two years, or however long the wait is, but eventually I’m going to take that step for sure. There’s no one in my family now who is amritdhari; I thought I’d make myself and my family proud by taking that step to revive something we lost in ourselves. We’ve basically turned into regular Punjabi people who eat meat, drink liquor, talk crap about others, and shave/wax/trim/cut our hair. We have this impression or mentality that our “look” is important to other people around us. It’s all about making a good impression on other people who see you. If you look good, other people will think good of you. They won’t say “oh she’s got bushy eyebrows” or “she’s got a mustache and a beard…ewww.” We see facial hair on girls as an abnormal thing that needs to be taken care of by getting a facial job done. Why you ask? Here is what my family believes: 1. You have to look good….look beautiful. Girls who don’t look good have the most difficult time finding a mate to marry. We have this by experience because some of my cousin sisters aren’t so good looking since they are dark colored. Another cousin had facial hair so she started whatever method to fix that. Soon she started shaving and did this for few years. She was beautiful (light skinned) but because she started shaving it was noticeable. Her parents couldn’t find her any guy so they ended up marrying her to a guy who is dark skinned and doesn’t have a visa either. Then she got a facial job to permanently get rid of her facial hair. 2. Some women get a facial job done and then some time later they take amrit. I don’t know of any specific women like this, but my family does. This solves their problem for the rest of their life and they don’t have to deal with a mustache and beard. I’ve seen some amritdhari women who have mustache/beard…..I don’t understand how they hold out against society. 3. My family strongly believes that a girl with facial hair (and on top of that if she has a dastaar) will have a difficult time getting a job here. When you go in for your interview, if you just don’t look modern you’re likely to not get the job when they have other applicants who do look good according to their standards. Again, its how your face looks that makes you attractive or ugly. Apparently, ladies with facial hair look “paagal” to my mom. 4. My family believes Sikhi is about having love for your Guru and doing naam simran, paath, and all the rest….but it doesn’t mean that you have to live your life through “emotional distress” by letting some hairs grow on your face. What do I think? Having grown up in this environment/mentality I too was doing stuff to hair on my face. But then as I got more and more into Sikhi one day I just stopped and decided to not do it again. On three occasions I’ve gotten in a big argument with my mom over my eyebrows. Each time she pulls out her tweezers and says she’ll do it if I don’t want to. Each time she gets <Edited> off with me and says I’m being STUBBORN. She pretty much threatens to not take me places with her because she doesn’t want people to see me like this. So far I’ve decided that facial hair is the only thing I can compromise. That’s the only thing I can let them win and have their way with. But I refuse to compromise anything else. I’ll wear a dastaar when I’m ready. I’ll quit meat when I’m ready. I’ll take amrit when I’m ready. Everything else I’ll do as my Guru would have wanted….they can only have one win and that’s it. The only possible way I can justify this facial job is that I do lots of other wrong things too…so what if I get a facial job? It’ll just be another thing to add to the list of gazillions of other bad things I did in my life already. It’s a kurehat for someone who is amritdhari. I’m nothing right now…maybe it doesn’t matter what I do until then…. They can have my face if it’s so damn important to them…but anything else they can’t have. I have to associate with these people for the rest of my life…is there really no space to compromise just one thing? What would you do if you were in my place?