sabnakeerenka

good for her...im glad she has the strength and wish her all the best...but my opinion is based on the fact a line between two genders is being broken...men being more feminine and women being more masculine...

the problem arises when these singhnis having a holier than thou attitude..treating all those who choose not to keep their kes are not at their level...and you cant deny it doesnt happen...

I've seen your posts in the other thread too....don't mean to be rude veerji, but just because you yourself cannot accept a bibi with that much facial hair, it doesn't mean other Singhs won't. There are many Singhs who can't, but there are also many Singhs who can, will and DO.

Secondly...I have never come across a singhni who has a holier than thou attitude because they keep their kes....generally being able to keep their kes to that degree and overcome societal norms/pressure/bullying etc is a sign of a pretty high avastha...they obviously do a lot of baani and have a lot of faith in Guru jee - this baani and faith also helps them remain humble.

You seem to have many preconceived ideas and are clearly trying to point fingers at them from all angles. I'm sorry if I have misinterpreted your posts but that's what it looks like. Fair enough you don't accept such facial hair but keep your prejudices to yourself. It's hard enough for singhnis with facial hair having to deal with taunts from other cultures but then have to deal with apne raising fingers too!!!

On 28/09/2012 at 10:59 PM, KhalistaniGunMan said:

its far-fetched..but many sikh women have low self-esteems concerning hair growth...no point pushing stuff under a carpet..these cases could happen

On 28/09/2012 at 11:58 PM, Into the Light said:

self cutting is a huge problem amongst youth belonging to all faiths....i came across a case of a Gursikh girl not too long ago.

But there is another issue...i think Emo culture makes cutting oneself cool, so kids going into that sangat will also be more likely to cut themselves but for social status.

All kids are growing up too fast nowadays. I remember when i was 14...i knew nothing & my life was so simple. It's just not the same today...there is so much pressure to get a good education, to do after school sports/clubs, not to mention the sexualisation of TV/movies...it's a really tough time to be a teenager. I think we Sikhs need to look at these things to help support our teenagers, else we're going to lose alot of kids to drugs or atheism.

On 29/09/2012 at 1:27 AM, dalsingh101 said:

Boy, are we desperate for some positive media coverage or what!

Not meaning to hijack the thread, but what can be done about the self-harm issue now that it has been brought to the forefront? Is something lacking in parenting skills? Are parents not raising strong children? I don't mean to be rude, but when I think of Shaheeds and other historical figures, they faced so much but never felt sorry for themselves and gloated in their own misery. We are definitely surrounded by exposed to such media more, but if we had the same faith and sharda and endeavoured to instill that into our children would we still have the same problems?

It's hard growing up as a teenager in the western world, definitely. Children are easily brainwashed by the media - but how to we make them strong enough not to care? I know many children who wear bana and do bani and are proud of it at Gurdwara and smagams....yet when in among western children they feel ashamed....their pride depends on the environment they're in....how do we create more Balpreet Kaur's so to speak?

"And there’s a fine Sikh family too, the Jawandas, both the parents charming doctors, though even they miss how unhappy one of their daughters has become, so tormented by Fats about her hairiness, both in person and on Facebook, that she cuts herself."

For some reason, not really liking the sound of this book!

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/world/jk-rowlings-adult-novel-divides-critics/story-e6frfkui-1226483035194

It's an adult novel apparently. Not appropriate for all ages, unfortunately.

Bhai Parminder Singh:

Bhai Manvir Singh:

Bhai Sukha Singh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF7CwRX9Jqo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SniQtLT97Xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgTuB2kspo8

​Bhai Anterjot Singh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9krela1PuPk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-DptGsRdnE

Pls add to the list all!

*head drops at her feet*

i feel its impractical for me, if a sant does something i dont really care i look to gurbani to guide me. Bani says to control your 5 chor with simran and talk to women as your sisters. Would i look my sister in the eye when i talk to her? yes so this denotes i should do the same.

In fact what Harnam singh is actually doing is avoiding a situation where he has kaam but what happens if he comes across a women and meets her eye, this is not controlling but avoidance. Sikhs are meant to partake in the world not hide away

I find it is impractical for me too, but that doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

As a girl though, I don't go out of my way to talk to Singhs, and I would expect that most Singhs wouldn't go out of their way to talk to their 'sisters'. This is what is meant by Bhai Harnam Singh, if contact isn't necessary, it the chitchat is trivial, then why bother with it?

There's also two ways of looking at the avoidance issue. Firstly, you can confront the 5 chor and fight them that way, although personally, that wouldn't work for me as more times than not, I would fail that task (e.g. moh is something that is a very big problem for me on a personal level, but I can't really avoid my family lol).

Secondly, you could try avoid them at first, and build up your jeevan until you get to a point where exposure has little to no effect on you.

If Sikhs are meant to partake in the world, why do most Gursikhs discourage watching movies/listening to music? Because it promotes the 5 chor, and thus discouraging that behaviour is pretty much saying 'avoid that which will attract you to dust'. Avoiding eye contact is the same thing, albeit a different approach.

haha yeah helps if you turn around when you tak to them and blindfold yourself lol

ifyou look into their eyes u will turn to stone ala medusa kaur

A quote from Se Kinehiya:

"This incident gave Baba Ji such great fortitude and willpower that, for the 34 years he lived amongst his family and the village, he never looked upon another woman with bad intentions. He would go about his daily work, in and around his house, with his gaze lowered, in respect and humility. As a result, of this thinking, lustful thoughts would never arise in his mind or cloud his conscience. Except for his mother, Baba Ji would avoid trivial chitchat with other women.......He did not feel any temptation from desires, in attaining spiritual heights. He believed that the eyes play a major role in making our mind wander outside. Whatever a man sees with his eyes, is received by the mind and under the attraction of materialistic things, the mind then wanders outwardly. The more we try to control this extrovert nature of the mind, the quicker we'll be able to concentrate our mind on meditation. All spiritual achievements are proportional to the concentration of our mind. It is essential that the mind be controlled, by restraining the eyes" (pgs 47 and 48).

Veer Ji, it worked for Sant Harnam Singh, there's no reason why the idea should be brushed off as silly and laughed about. These were the bachans of Mahapurakh, not just silly old me who knows nothing and is in no state to be giving advice to others.

It may not be practicable at all times, but when it can be, then why not?

tried looking for the source (it was a blog post) but couldnt find it again. I did find this however:

"Although they were ex-communicated from the Panth :

Sukha and Jinda cut their hair before becoming shaheeds.

They were ranked in the top 10 hitlist by India's FBI police.

And they wanted to get General Vadiya back from invading the Golden Temple.

I still beileve they were shaheeds, and they should still be labelled as Sikhs.

They cut their hair, early that morning by themselves with a knife, and trimmed their dharis. Then went to the bank, handled their business and never cut their hair again. Even in jail they grew it back out, they asked for Amrit, but, like always some Sikhs argued against it, and they were not given Amrit."

(Post #9 at http://www.sikhsanga.../4065-kurehits/)

yes a lot of these so called khalistan groups are shady characters and i dont back them---speaking of some agents DAL ''khalsa'' UK is a shady group who i wouldnt be suprised had links to india these tattu missionaries are not trust worthy

another thing i wanted to discuss didar singh bains look at the letter of longowal to indira didar bains is talked about being agent , he organized yuba city nagar kirtan, i attend this most years and just saw didar bains at our gurdwara when he came to speak about wisconsin shaheeds---what does sangat feel about him, he also now backs badal and when badal comes here didar likes to take photos with him

http://www.scribd.co...ongowal-letter2

and reg dhumma followers

yup thats true you cant trust dhumma lovers iv seen some go madd and then get katapa chard by local sangat---iv also seen some go against sant ji having shastrs at sri darbar sahib complex---beware of goats lurking around if you know what i mean.

Wait, was Longowal on the other side!? I know he was killed by a Kharkoo but I've always been told it was a case of misunderstanding! That letter doesn't show him in a very favourable light though...sorry if this is off-topic.

-

I've just read somewhere that Sukha and Jinda were actually excommunicated from the panth and were not allowed to receive Amrit whilst in jail before their Shaheedi.

I obviously am unaware of the complete circumstances that surrounded their Shaheedi (I know they assassinated General Vaidya, and rightly so in my opinion), but don't understand the whole idea of excommunication?

Two questions, why were they excommunicated and what is the process of excommunication in our panth (i.e. how does the Panth go about excommunicating someone).

Please correct me if my information is wrong, I've only read this from one source.

Penji I am the dust of your feet your understanding is millions of times more advanced than mine. Anyway I was thinking of giving you a panjabi katha to listen to - how are your punjabi skills?

Oh thank you so much! I can understand Punjabi! I really appreciate you going out of your way to help me understand this concept Veerjee. Maharaj Kirpa Karan!

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Waheguroooo!!! Man I'm having the same problems!!!

Its tough waking up amritvela, when starting out...Here are some tips, that I got from some chardi kalaa Gursikhs, since I'm a lazy bugger myself

FIRST AND FOREMOST: This is the one that works for me alllllll the time. Do 'Sohila' paath, then do an ardaas, with love asking for strength to wake up in the morning. I don't need an alarm clock or anything, and you'll be amazed at how it works!!!

- If you need lots of sleep(like me), try to goto sleep before 9, that way you get your sleep and wake up amritvela as well. Try to avoid watching tv, or jumping on the computer, because one clip leads to another, and a clip leads to watchin the show, same on the computer. So keep it in mind, I wanna put like a small note on my TV, saying in big letters "MAYA" that way you don't get hooked on watchin cuz you see the sign, a small little trick I thought of.

- Drink lotttts of water when you goto sleep, like 2-3 glasses. FACT: Its better to drink water before sleeping, because it helps you digest the food as you sleep.

- Try

not to use a blanket, like a cozy blanket, or a "rajaee". Use either a 'chadar' or a 'kambal' which doesn't have fur, because that makes you lazy, and in amritvela, you don't feel like waking up because your bed is all warm!

- Put the alarm clock moderately loud, and NEVER put it beside your bed, put it further away from you so, you have to walk to turn it off. If its nearby you usually close the alarm, and go back to sleep.

I hope that helps, if you follow one or any of these steps you'll have no problem getting up. Bhul chuk maaf!

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Excellent points, will definitely try these. Although not sure if I'm alone in this, but the reason I generally have a problem waking up at amrit vela is because I'm always cold IN bed, and expect that it will be colder outside of bed lol and so I lay shivering in my rajayee rather than getting up. Usually by 7ish the sun is up and warms the room up. Any way to overcome this?

i agree with akhandeurop

"...akath katha kathee na jaae..."

forget about askin around. reading books. guru ji says, if u do ur naam simran, u wil experience it (all things related to / and akaal, eg anhad roop anhad bani anhad shabad, sunn, the amrit russ etcc) yourself.

gyaan is not found in aimee galaa.

You can talk about it, or you can experience it.

I haven't experienced it myself, but I'm assuming there's no A, B, C to it, and no step by step routine....just something one automatically experiences once their kamaai or bhagti has reached a certain level? In other words, jado Maharaj di kirpaa hoyee, udho aapeyi patha lag jaana how rom rom rom simran happens!

Correct me if I'm wrong please.

Brilliant, as always!

That simran is too chardeekala! Bibi Dileep Kaur also has a version of this (you can find it on Sikhnet)...don't know the keys though

I think you should chill out C'mon Veerjee! There's more important things to worry about then a girl who likes you! Spend the time you spend worrying japping naam and watch how everything resolves itself

I've recently started becoming a little wary (not necessarily scared) when alone in the dark too, but jap naam or put Kirtan Sohila on repeat (I recommend Kirtan Sohila sang by Bibi Rena Kaur...you can find it on youtube, may Bhenji forever remain at the Blessed Charan of Dhan Dhan Guru Gobind Singh Ji)....it soothes the mind and helps you sleep

I know wat u are going thru, it hard being alone and not havin no friends. the friends i had, dont want to know me nomore coz of my health condition, but then i think they are not friends if they dont want to know. I am kind of stuck in th middle, i am not amritdhari, so its hard to make amritdhari friends, I dont drink or go out or do much fashion like i did b4, and th other friends are either goin holidays, or want to go to pubs etc, or meet up in restaurants which i dont do.... And then there are women that have children, so i have nothin in common with them, but i try to keep myself busy throughout th day at home, there is always something to do, and in th comfort of ur own home, nobody can hurt u or say anything to offend u...which i used to get a lot, if they did not like my views on certain things or if im not modern enough for them. Im not boring its just that ppls attitudes change and there will always be somebody that comes into my life and go, rather than the same ones that stay around forever. but then i think this is gud for me, i dont have to be obliged to nobody and seen diversity of people and personalites in my life that would not have if i had friends.

Waheguru is a friend u can rely on, if u feel lonely or down, talk to them, they do listen...i even cry to them sometimes, but thats ok coz i know they are the only ones that listen to me, whereas others run away, and they are not the ones to be friends with.

Lookafter the gems and dont go looking around for stones. :waheguru:

You and I are like peas from a pod. Keep yourself busy at home and loneliness won't touch you. I usually read books, youtube Sikhi things, try learning kirtan, listen to kathas, or just talk to family members...day passes like water from a jug to a cup.

Look down and don't look into their eyes....I think Sant Baba Harnam Singh Rampur Khera Vale used to do this (don't quote me).

Assimilate: to drop ones own cultural/ancestral beliefs/ways and adopt those of the society/mainstream.

Thats like having tea without the lechi. Food without merch. Ice cream tubs not filled with mums daala sabjiya...the list goes on (ok the examples are a little extreme)

If we all dropped everything 'punjabi' 'desi' about us and started living exactly 100% like our goray neighbours just to 'fit in', what would be the fun in that? A world without diversity? We would just be clones of one another to some extent. Sheep! Sikhi isnt for sheep. Maharaaj gave us our unique appearance so we stand out in a crowd. Far from assimilation.

Integrate, YES. Assimilate? No no.

Also do these goray assimilate when they go abroad? They dont even bother to learn the foreign language, expecting everyone to speak english and conform to their ways. Why should we conform to theirs?

Tea without the lechi! LOL!