DaljitKaur24

I was in the same position as you. Me and my husband were engaged for about two years before we got married and he didn't like me hanging out or going out anywhere. Now that we're married that has changed a little bit. We go out to eat shop watch a movie etc. but he has never introduced me to his friends and don't want to hang out with mine because he thinks they are a bad influence. Recently he started growing his beard out and he wants to take Amrit but wants me to do it too. I'm not mentally ready yet prolly becuz I'm so used to waxing/cutting hair and I really don't know how to stear away from that. He said he will stop eating meat and drinking after I take Amrit with him but I just feel like that's just blackmail. I don't eat meat or drink just cut my hair either. Just sit with him and explain to him how your feeling and that your not ready yet but your proud that he's taking the next step towards sikhi. If your planning on getting married to him then there shouldn't be compromises like not going out to eat or shopping. If he only wants to do it his way then you really need to evaluate your relationship with him. Just express to him how you feel I'm sure he will understand. Good luck to you!

I wish he would stop drinking and eating meat but he doesn't listen to me but I guess i'm at a fault in a way too. He has his head hair but used to trim his beard and now it's been two months since he started growing his beard out because he said he always wanted to. He has a conditon for me that he will become a amrit dhari if I won't cut my hair etc. I'm not ready mentally to become a gurusikh(I know it's bad) but I feel that's just an excuse he gives me because he knows i'm not ready yet. Shouldn't it be our own individual choice? He should do it on his own terms right? I do get the urge sometimes to take Amrit when I constantly listen to gurbani and go to the gurdwara sahib but Guru ji still hasn't given me that strong will power to become a Amrit Dhari. And the baba ji I was referring to is a Amrit Dhari and he lives in India and he's not like those pakhandi baba's. He just tells us to do paath and live in rehaat marayada. But thank you for your advice and I will try to convince him to do the shabad or paath even though I have never seen him do any sort of paath in these couple of years. He does a lot of seva at the gurdwara but that's about it. Thank you.

Wow what a great pothi. My parents have two pothis that have different shabads for different situations and needs but not nearly as insightful as this one. Those only have the shabads if your pregnant then you recite those but this one is awesome there's so many different ones for trying to get pregnant! Thank you so much I will always remember this act of kindness by providing the link and name to the shabads. Thanks looking forward to begin those ASAP!

Yea you can do it a little bit at a time until you are comfortable at doing the entire paath in one sitting. I learned the five banis from my nana ji whos a strict Amrit Shari and he would sit with me until I was reciting it properly and was able to do the entire paath on my own. When I started to do the sukhmani sahib it was really hard for me because of the wording. So what I did was I had the audio nitnem app and the sunder Gutka app on my iPod and I would read along as the baba ji was reciting the paath and some words that I couldn't pronounce I was able to. I usually did that at night when u was gonna go to sleep. Then jn the morning I would do as much as I could and then mark it where I left off and o that the next morning. And then slowly following this I was able to do the entire paath in one sitting. I don't think there is anything wrong in doing this. Guru ji would want you to do as much as you can and slowly work your way up so your not overwhelmed. I wish guru ji gives me enough memory and strength to memorize the paath withou the Gutka sahib one day.

Thank you so much for the reply. I will definitely start doing that. I wish my husband would stop drinking and eating meat and doing paath and it might help but he doesn't. I know that both should be doing as much paath as we can so Guru ji can bless us. I'm not worried right now because I'm still young and have a long time to have kids but it's just my mother-in-law keeps pushing me and I don't know how to deal with that. She lives in India and everytime I call her that's the first thing she asks me and says you guys have been married for two and half years and still nothing. No one from my in-laws do paath and they are expecting big miracles. The other day she was asking me and she was like I don't understand why you can't have kids and it made me really mad and I told her that there's nothing wrong with me if that's why your trying to say and that when I'm destined to be blessed with a child I will have it. I don't know how to deal with her negativity and then in return start to have a fight with Raab ji that why is he punishing me. Sorry i had to get this off my shoulders since I don't have anyone to talk to this about. My mom asked our Baba ji that we really believe in and have been going to since we were little and he said that the miscarriage was meant to happen my first child was not meant to be alive and I believe that it must have been because of my past deeds. Thank you for your nice comment and advice I will defintely start that.

Thank you for the reply. I have already consulted with a doctor everything is normal I guess it's in God's hands now. Thank you Thanks I have already consulted the doc everything is fine. Yes I know I shouldn't have travelled but I had to because of personal reasons.

Well you know that's his choice and you shouldn't stop him from what he wants to do and he shouldn't stop you. There's nothing wrong with going out to eat or hanging out with friends. If he doesnt want to be doing that then you should spend the time with him doing wht he wants and when your not with him then you can hang out with friends. He doesn't want to go out to eat just with you either? Or in like a group? Are u both married? If you think that you cannot be restricted then maybe it's time to move on. Good luck

Wow no replies!!

I saw that pic too and was shocked at first but as I looked closer( I might be mistaken) but doesn't the beard lOok fake in the bottom picture? The beard is white but not the mustache? Plz correct me if I'm wrong or mistaken. Haha should have read the posts b4 posting someone also noticed that too!!

Wahe guru ki ka Khalsa wahe guru ji ki fateh, Hi I have a quick question and would really appreciate some good responses. Me and my husband have been trying to be blessed with a child for the past two years without any luck. Here's some background info: We got married in India in January of 2010. I found out I was pregnant on march of 2011 when I went to visit him and for his interview. Our flight was in April I was 7 weeks at that time and I had a Miscarriage on the plane two hours before landing in Seattle. And no luck since then. So my question to all of you is that is their any paath I can do so I can be blessed by guru ji with a child? I used to be very good about doing nitnem sahib and sukhmani sahib but have been really slacking after the miscarriage because at one point I kept thinking why would Guru ji do this? I do paath and everything but still I had to go through that so I stopped believing in him for a while. But I know whatever he does he has a reason for that and that child just wasn't meant to be. My second question is that is it because of my bad deeds that guru ji is punishing me and not blessing me? I would be so grateful for all helpful answers because I'm really stressed for not having a child since our wedding. Thank you everyone. Daljit Kaur