infromthevoid

Thanks for reaching out Jeff. It means a lot. Metta!

See if you can get in touch with RCMP Baltej Dillon up in Vancouver BC. I'm sure he can give you some good advice. If you want to pm me I might be able to get you in touch with him. I also have advice I can share on secure dastar style.

What if there is NO magic, black or otherwise?

Keep your mind soft and relaxed and think about what you are reading or singing.

Your brain creates your thoughts, and your thoughts actually shape your brain, your actual physical brain. It is entirely possible for you to consciously and deliberately change this pattern. When you have these feelings, ask yourself whether there is a possibility that your thoughts may be not be accurate. Deliberately choose a different, more positive range of assumptions and thoughts about what is going on around you and in your life. Over time you will create new neural patterns in your brain and so change the way you think. It takes practice and time. These are things being understood now in neuroscience. And what is so interesting is that; what is listening to or reading Guru's Bani? You are actually creating neural pathways and mental states of being. Do it with care and love! This illustrates how when you thoughtlessly read your Banis at 100 mph to just "get them done," you are missing THE opportunity!! That is little more than ritual. If you are going to read them, read them with love, fully engage, read with passion and deliberation and imagination. That is where the magic happens.

I respect and support Sikh women either way. What you call a Kurahit is a man made artificial rule that only has meaning because you think it does. I don't argue for one side or the other, only for tolerance and understanding. Hair is not a "gift from God," it is a product of our having adapted to our environment through human evolution. How much or how little you happen to have is just a matter of your genetics. That society at present commonly considers excess hair on women to be unfeminine or odd is just the way it happens to be at the moment. That doesn't make it right or wrong. I totally admire and respect women who are so empowered as to be able to themselves proclaim to the world exactly what "feminine" is, meaning EXACTLY what they are! And set THE trend. I love it. I think it makes the world a better place. But I also do not look down or judge a woman who does not wish to have a mustache or beard and decides remove it. Not even a little. A woman's femininity belongs to her, and is not really my business. As a man, if somehow growing a beard made many people you encountered assume you were effeminate, you might begin to understand.

Don't miss the forest for the trees. People get too obsessed - on one side or the other - with these issues, and miss the good stuff. When Guru Gobind Singh created the Khalsa and gave them the symbols of warriors and ascetics, I don't think he was intending us to get silly about it. It's the spirit and mindset that is what it is about, THAT is what is truly important, the symbols are auxiliary to that. I really find it difficult to believe that part of his intention was that Sikh women should have beards and mustaches.

Set up an appointment with a therapist and see what they think. In the mean time, relax. There is no such "God" judging you or your thoughts. That is all in your mind. Accept yourself, be calm, let the thoughts run through and let them go. When you feel disturbed, take a little time to sit quietly, breath deeply and very slowly, and just listen to and focus on your breath.

Uncut hair is an unspoken and fly symbol of solidarity with your Sikh brothers and sisters worldwide. It's about love. It's a funky fresh natural organic thing. It's about being true. It's about style and panache. It's about rebelling a little bit against the sweeping pressure of society to conform in every way, physically AND mentally. It can be about consciously proclaiming your identity to be sovereign, beyond the influences of all the bs flying us from every billboard and tv screen telling us what to buy and who to be. It always was, and today still is about not bowing down to "the man." And yes, It is definitely sexy too. It just is. But if you haven't experienced these things, or don't want to, and have no love for it, then I guess do what you have to, and slip into the tide of conformity. The queue starts at the back, and it is very long. But please, no need to rationalize things to death in an attempt to make yourself comfortable with something. Who are you really trying to convince? Are you being intellectually honest? Not wanting to "objectify" what you believe? Aren't you doing that by cutting your hair too? I could respond to your other points, but it wouldn't matter. I personally don't find your reasons very compelling at all, but what matters is you.

There is no such thing as jooth. What nonsense! Carry overs from brahmin caste prejudices. Love your wife freely and unreservedly and live your life as a TRUE Khalsa, let her decide on her own.

It is NOT YOUR FAULT! You can get past this and heal. Having support is very very important. Please try and find some organization where you live that helps women and children. Do not be ashamed, it is not your fault. Just call, there are many people trained to support people in your situation, confidentiality is sacred to them, and they understand exactly what you are going through. Don't worry about cost either. Just reach out. Do it today. They can also help to make sure this person is stopped. If you post the name of the city you are in or one nearby, I can help you get in touch with someone.