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AmanSingh1867

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Everything posted by AmanSingh1867

  1. Diya, you asked "What does your religion say about something like this? Is there any punishment for someone who does something like this to someone? Is it okay to do something like this to someone who is not Sikh?" Our religion forbids us to have sexual relationships outside of marriage, so if he was doing that, he obviously wasn't following Sikhi. As for the last part, about whether it is okay to do that to someone who is not Sikh, we believe that there is only One God, we are all the children of that God, and labels such as "Sikh" and "Muslim" should not be used to divide us. We are told to see the divine light in all of Creation, we are told to look upon everybody equally, so you being Muslim does not somehow justify his actions. If my blood brother did something like this, I would drag him out onto the street and shame him in front of the community. If I were at Gurdwara and one of the guys there had done something like this, to a Sikh OR non-Sikh girl, then I'd be willing to bet my life that the guy was not going to make it out of there on his own two feet, the other Sikh guys would tear him apart. I have seen this plot far too many times before. Girl and guy meet, fall in love, sleep together, girl wants to get married and guy leaves (for one reason or another). I know that most members on this forum are familiar with Muslim guys doing this kind of thing to Sikh girls, but trust me fellas, it does happen the other way around too, way more than anyone will let on about. I have personally known guys from Sikh families do this to Muslim girls before, and have heard lots of stories about it as well. So it wasn't that surprising for me to read. The thing that does stump me though is the comment of the father. Diya, I have known guys who come from non-practicing Sikh families, guys who are really only Sikh in name, who will sleep with anything that moves, but if their fathers ever found out about it, they would be kicked out of the house, or worse, beaten to a bloody pulp. I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER known of a Punjabi father to tell his son "go have your fun", not once. Not only is it against the religion, it is against the culture too, families may not practice Sikhi, but the immigrant families (I am assuming his parents moved here from Punjab) still hold on to the culture very dearly. I am not saying you are lying, you sound genuine, so I will give you my advice. 1) Forget about him. This is the better option, he doesn't really sound like a great guy to begin with. You said you guys had broken up multiple times before, I don't get the impression that your relationship was very stable to begin with. Imagine being married to him and getting into a large argument and only then discovering what he was really like. It is better this happened now, you say it hurts now, it would have hurt a lot more after marriage. Just get back on your horse, continue living your life and I'm sure you'll find some other guy. You sound like a great girl, it shouldn't be too hard. 2) In case you still want to pursue things with him, there is something you can do. The only reason I am mentioning this option is because I am not 100% convinced that he is telling the truth about what his father said, to have his fun with you and then leave. I think he was lying, for one reason or another he decided he didn't want to marry you, and to avoid you going to his parents, he made it seem like his father was fine with what he was doing. I don't really buy it though. His family knows about you and you say they like you. You are friends with his sisters. Here is what I would do: go to his house one day, sit down and talk with the entire family. Tell them about everything that happened, and also about the comment he claims his father made. Then ask his father, if someone "had their fun" with your daughters and then left, how would you feel? I can almost guarantee you that the sisters will be on your side, the mother may be as well. You were willing to convert to Sikhi for him, so what is the excuse? You need to find out exactly why he doesn't want to marry you. Perhaps he was never serious about it to begin with, he just wanted to have his way with you and then leave, and if that is the case, at least you will be exposing him for what he truly is in front of his family. I still say that option one is better, but I can understand if you go for the second one. I hope everything works out for you sister, and please don't let one <banned word filter activated> paint a negative image of Sikhs or Sikhi in your mind. If you are genuine about learning more about Sikhi, then don't let the fact that you are broken up stop you. Rab Rakha
  2. Thanks for the replies everyone, really appreciate it Most of you told me to stay with her, I think you're right, and especially after this weekend, I'm sure she's worth keeping around. Our Gurdwara celebrated Miri Piri today (Sunday), the Gurdwara has been packed since Friday evening. I always go with my buddies to do sewa and help out. I took her with me for the first time on Friday, she did matha tekh in front of Guru Ji, got parshad and sat down to listen to keertan with me. She comes from a non-practicing Christian family, she herself believes in God but not the Church. She is spiritual and has experience meditating. So she closed her eyes and let herself be carried away by the keertan, even though she couldn't understand it, she said it was extremely peaceful and easy to relax listening to it. We went down to the langar hall after that. My friends were there, uncles and aunties I know were too. I introduced her and everyone was really nice, obviously since Miri Piri was only 2 days away it was really busy, lots of Sangat and a ton of work to do. Some of the aunties asked her if she wanted to learn how to make roti, she said yes and they took her with them to make roti for Sangat. Me and the guys were outside unloaidng supplies and setting up for the festival. We all had langar together later on, and after that stayed to clean up. There were only a few of us and the kitchen was a mess, the langar hall was messed up as well. I was washing those huge pots and pans we make daal in with my friends in the back, she was cleaning up the smaller things with the other girls in the front. All of us were there past midnight, but it's always a ton of fun and this time was no different, we joke around and have fun, and when the work is done, warm up some milk, grab ladoos and a few other sweets and sit around talking about the day. She met all my Gurdwara friends that day and had a ton of fun cleaning up, most chicks would't be into that stuff but she really enjoyed it, even though it was her first time, everyone really took a liking to her and wants her to come back. We were there Saturday and Sunday too. Sunday she learned about the concept of Miri and Piri, the life and times of Sri Guru HarGobind Sahib Ji, I can't believe how into Sikh history she is. We spent the entire day at the Gurdwara, yes we got stared at by some of the older uncles and aunties who did not know us and were casuals at the Gurdwara, but no one said anything bad and it was all good. The icing on the cake? I saw a girl from Uni who told me that she only dates cut-haired guys at the Miri Piri mela. I waved at her when I saw her and she waved back. We are still friends, I didn't take it personally when she turned me down so we still talk. I went over and started chatting, then my GF shows up after a few minutes. I introduce her and the Uni girls' jaw drops to the floor lol. She is visibly startled, but keeps it together and continues talking normally to me, glancing over at the GF every now and then. Then we leave to somewhere else in the Gurdwara, and I would occasionally look over at the girl from Uni and she would be staring at us from across the room. I was with my friends, the GF invited a few of her non-Sikh friends, all of us were having the time of our lives, and this girl was staring at us until she left to go home. Absolutely priceless hahaha I hope everyone else had a wonderful Miri Piri weekend as well! Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!
  3. Thanks for the replies Sangat Ji! I should point out that it isn't the fact that her skin is white that is making me have doubts, there are 2 other reasons: 1) I want to raise my kids to be Sikhs, so naturally I will be teaching them Punjabi. My GF does not speak Punjabi, so it would be hard to have a Punjabi-speaking environment at home. I want my future kids to be able to read/write Gurmukhi too, so they can read Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji without needing to use English translations. 2) My parents. I do not know how they will react to me bringing home a white girl. I am pretty sure they wouldn't be too happy though. But other than that, I could definitely see myself getting married to her in the future once we are done with Uni. She knows how seriously I take my Sikhi, and that I want to start a Sikh family in the future, so the fact that she has stuck around shows me that she is willing to (if we get married) bring the kids up as Sikhs, she would have no problem with it. @Ek_Sikh: Yeah I've seen keshdari guys go out with Hindu and Muslim girls too. I really don't know what it is, for some reason, the majority of apnea kuddiya don't have much respect for the turban and beard. There isn't much you can do about it though, I think that the kesh acts as a great filter to keep away immature girls who aren't long-term relationship material. This girl asked me out, so right away I knew that she cared about more than just appearances (although tbh, I consider myself to be a pretty good looking guy, not trying to brag lol), and she has proved me right over the past couple of weeks. I think that most keshdari guys who complain about girl problems are the ones that only go for Punjabi girls. The ones that will go for white/hindu/muslim/black/chinese etc... girls too know that there are plenty of chicks out there who will date them for who they are, lots of girls who actually respect a guy who stands up for his Sikhi, and a lot of them ain't Punjabi. @nanosecond: Yes I think she likes me for my values. Like I said, she doesn't go clubbing or get drunk or do drugs or anything of the sort. She is the kind of girl who focuses on her studies, volunteers with charities and organizes food drives. She told me how much of a relief it was for her to meet a guy who actually shared her straight edge lifestyle and drive to do sewa (although she doesn't call it that obviously). I have been told over and over again throughout my life by girls that the most attractive trait in a guy is for him to stand up for what he believes in. Kesh is a symbol that you believe in Sikhi values of selfless service, equality of all mankind, no drugs/alcohol, fighting against injustice etc... a guy that cuts his hair for girls is pathetic. If a guy cuts his hair to win over a girl, I'd bet my life that the girl is going to end up dumping him in the future, because if she can make you give up your Sikhi, she knows she can make you do anything she wants, and she will lose all respect for you. And a girl who does not respect you is a girl who won't stay with you. Real men, pioneers, leaders, do not care what the world throws at them, they stand tall in the face of all adversity and never throw away what they believe in, for that would be the death of their soul. It is for this reason that I have decided that I would rather remain single for the rest of my life than cut my hair to try and get with some immature girl. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like I will have to do that I am sorry about your situation, I hope things work out for you, you sound like a really nice guy and deserve happiness
  4. Hello everyone, so let me explain what is going on. I am a keshdari Sikh guy in University. I work out, have friends from every race/religion, I consider myself to be a social and fit guy who also holds Guru Jis teachings very strongly in his heart and I absolutely love Sikhi. Now, I've always had a bunch of female friends, talking to girls has never been a problem for me. Throughout High School, and at the beginning of Uni, I always wanted to start a relationship with a Punjabi girl. Most were friendly with me, but wouldn't go out with me. The few that did always ended it after a few dates, because they wanted short haired guys. Of course it was disappointing, but I never once considered cutting my hair. If a girl didn't respect my hair, she wasn't worth my time, that was my train of thought. Looking back at it now, I can't believe I asked most of them out either, they may have been Punjabi, but they didn't have an ounce of Sikhi or Sikhi knowledge in their bodies, I wouldn't look twice at girls like that today. So despite my experiences, I still maintained hope that I would end up with a Punjabi SIKH girl one day, I didn't pay much attention to girls who were not Punjabi/from Sikh backgrounds (although now that I reflect, most of the non-Punjabi girls I knew were a lot nicer, and I could have dated a lot of them, plus they didn't mind the turban/beard). I live in an area with a very small ethnic population, so since Uni started, it has been harder for me to meet Punjabi girls. Last month, something unexpected happened to me. One of the white girls I have a class with, that I met at the beginning of the semester, asked me out. She is really smart, funny, we clicked the first day we met, plus she is extremely mature for her age, not the kind of girl who drinks or does drugs or goes clubbing and comes back at 3 am. Dare I say it, she acts more "Sikh" than almost all the Punjabi girls I've known throughout my life. Anyways, so she asked me to go see a movie with her, and I said yes. It was a lot of fun and we've been out twice since then, and are going out again this weekend. She's pretty much everything I ever wanted in a girl: mature, does well in school, good morals and actually likes me for my beard and turban. She's been asking me about Sikhi since the beginning of the semester, when we first met (before we started dating), and she has a TON of respect for it, seriously I see her eyes light up when I tell her about Guru Arjan Dev Ji and Guru Tegh Bahadur Jis Shaheedis, the epic story of Vaisakhi 1699, the bravery of Mai Bhago leading an army of men into battle against an enemy of thousands, the sacrifice of Bhai Mani Singh and everything else that is our awesome history. She has been begging me to take her to Gurdwara, and like I said I live in an area with a few Sikhs, but the Gurdwara will be celebrating Miri Piri so that is when I will take her. My question is, am I doing something wrong? I really couldn't ever see myself with a non-Punjabi girl, and this one isn't even from a Sikh background. I feel kind of hypocritical because one of my friends started dating a Muslim girl a few months ago, I was telling him he should stick to Sikh girls, so I feel a bit of guilt about this. On the flip side, she has wonderful morals and seems to really be interested in Sikhi. She has complete respect for the turban and beard and actually regards Guru Gobind Singh Ji as some sort of super hero lol. So do I keep dating her and see what happens? Or would it be best if we part ways now, since I don't know how my parents will react (I've kind been doing it in secret).
  5. I find it silly that there are still Sikhs out there who think that "after the EDL are done with Muslims, they're coming for us". Really? What have we ever done to make the EDL "come after us"? The EDL is against the Islamification of Britain. Are we "Sikhifying" Britain? No. The EDL are against Sharia courts operating in the UK, which opens the door for a two-tier political system to be implemented. Are we opening Sikh-only courts in Britain? No. The EDL are against Muslim gangs grooming non-Muslim girls (5% of UK is Muslim, 85% of grooming gangs are Islamic). Are Sikhs going around grooming non-Sikh girls? No. The EDL is aware that as the population of Muslims in the UK increases, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, secularism and the rule of law will continue to be further stifled. Contrastingly, throughout history, Sikhs have been champions of protecting free speech, freedom to practice whatever religion you want. The Sikh Empire under Maharaja Ranjit Singh was largely secular, Muslims and Hindus were given equal rights. Sikhism is also 100% compatible with the rule of law. The ONLY reason that certain members of our community think that "we're next" is because they continue to harbor the delusion that the EDL is a racist organization, that their goal is to rid Britain of all non-white people. And to this I say, grow up and stop basing your entire opinions on hearsay and media lies. Go onto their website, read their mission statement, come back and tell me what on there is racist. Join their forum, talk to them about what they are after, and then come back and tell me they are racist. Go to a demo, and then come back and tell me that you were disrespected. I guarantee you won't be able to. The Anglo-Saxon community is facing the same threats and experiences the same problems from Muslims that we are. Just as one example, for decades now, Punjabi girls have been getting groomed by paedophilic Muslim gangs and thrown into prostitution. And over the decades, what exactly has the Punjab community done to stop it? Given speeches at Gurdwaras, handing out pamphlets telling girls not to date Muslims and talking about it online like this. That's pretty much it. The EDL has done more in the last 4 years to get those pedophiles off the street, to shine the national spotlight on the Pakistani community and expose them for what they really are than the Punjabi community has in the last 40 years. Their leadership has made it clear on numerous occassions that they stand united with all communities who are terrorized by Pakistanis in the UK. When that 16 year old Punjabi girl was raped in Luton last year, Tommy Robinson said he was mad because a girl from HIS COMMUNITY had been preyed on. He considers every non-Islamic community as one of his own. So Singho, I say to you, if you really think that you can do a better job, go out there and create your own organization that puts the national spotlight on issues such as these and pressures politicians into recognizing the problem rather than brushing it under the carpet. If you really think that the EDL is a racist organization, then create your own group that isn't racist and we'll see how far you get. How many of you would be willing to put your face to it and get the same level of hatred and abuse that Tommy does? Not very many, I can bet you that. In the time being, I think that the EDL is everyone's (black, white, brown, Christian, Atheist, Sikh, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist) best shot at dealing with the side-effects of Islam in Britain, and so I will continue to support them. You may do as you please. I care about the future of the free world, I want my sister and future daughter(s) to be able to walk the streets safely and freely. I want them to be able to go to school without being targets of conversion and grooming. So I will support a group of people that go out into the open and does something about it, not a group that sits on their chairs and talks big online.
  6. So you are saying that you agree with the EDL mission statement, but you will not support the group of people who go on demos and tell the truth about what is happening in the UK? Why not? WJKK WJKF
  7. I can't quite understand why some Sikhs are still against the EDL. The fact of the matter is this Paji: The EDL was formed in 2009 after a bunch of muslims in Luton were burning poppies on remembrance day. They are opposed to the spread of radical islam in the UK. We as Sikhs should no better than anyone else what happens when political islam gets a grip-hold over a country. Due to the nature of their beliefs, there WILL be some racist people who latch onto the organization and use it as a base from which to spread their bigotry. However, by and large, they are very very accepting people who are trying to stop their country from being turned into "Greater Pakistan". If you are a Sikh and live in the UK, then England is your country too and you must play a part in defending it. I too have seen the pics of Sikhs being abused by certain members of the EDL. But please understand that a lot of this content is from back when it first formed, when there was actually a huge part of the EDL that was made up of racists. Those people have been kicked out and created their own group called "Northwest Infidels". The EDL of today is not a racist organization, not by a long shot. If you think they are, why not just go to a demo and see what it's like? Plenty of Sikhs have gone and I haven't heard of any complaining about being treated with disrespect. The leadership seems trustworthy to me, and I can't find any faults with their mission statement. On a final note, the actions of the muslim community in Britain is abhorrent to say the least. I know there is a lot of talk on here about apnea Sikh girls getting targeted for conversion/grooming, but the same is also true for Hindu and white girls as well, white girls probably being targeted more than anyone else in my opinion. As Sikhs, it is our duty to stand up against disgusting display of savagery. A Hindu girl or white girl being targeted makes me just as repulsed as a Sikh girl being targeted, Guru Ji teaches us to view all of humanity as one after all. Freedom of speech and freedom of religion are two other principles that Sikhi teaches. Unfortunately, the muslim community doesn't value them as much. If protecting freedom of speech and the right to leave/join any religion you want (including LEAVING islam) means opposing muslims, then it's going to have to be done. If you think that there is something wrong with the EDL or you still think it is a racist organization, then create your own group and we'll see how far it goes. As it stands, I say that the EDL stands for much of the same things we do, and it'd be in our interest to support them.
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