advice1

listening to nitnem paath from MP3 player is not a good idea. It is much easier to let the mind drift. Older Gursikhs have told me not that this is a bad idea. Maybe if you have access to a computer or palm pilot, you could read bani off that? Taking the Gutka in a bag that will be placed on the ground is a bad idea. If you can think of a way to carry it where it won't be disrespected then that'd be fine too (maybe in a small pouch?).

Homosexuals can of course take amrit. They cannot however engage in homosexual relationships or the homosexual "act" after that and it would be considered a bujjer kurehit. Marriage is between a male and a female in Sikhi. Some people say it's "natural". Maybe it is. But some people "naturally" like younger children and there are other natural disorders. These people must learn how to control their urges. As for the argument that Guru Sahib did not expressly forbid it, I would reply that Guru Sahib has expressly forbidden lustful relationships like this in general. Guru Sahib didn't expressly forbid many things that we know are plainly wrong like marrying children, beastiality, etc. but it is clear that these are wrong based on Guru Sahib's principles.

Actually the Dargah is not from where Vali Kandhari pushed the rock. The smaller hill with a water tank at the top is from where the rock was rolled. That hill is visible right in front of the Gurdwara Sahib.

The site has been refuted already: http://forums.waheguroo.com/Answers-To-Mus...ons-t16956.html I believe a formal website on this issue is also forthcoming.

The word is "sik" not Sikh. Sik means a deep desire. The whole composition is about an intense desire to meet his mittar. I haven't listened to the whole thing but I can assure you this has nothing to do with Sikhs.

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-66...52&q=kirpan At the link above kirpan is insulted on Quebec TV program. It starts at 1:40 and goes on. The teacher sees the student wear a kirpan and then argues with the principle that it's a weapon and the next day to make his point he wears a machete. The kid shows his kirpan to other students (the guy being the Sikh looks like a fool) and the teacher attacks with a machete and the principal attacks the teacher with a crucifix. They then decide to ban the kirpan and all religious items from the school. It's supposed to be funny but it totally isn't. We should do something. Maybe complain to the CRTC or something?

I don't agree with Ghugga. But at the same time you can't force someone to be quiet by violence or by noise. Ghagga has his own interpretation of Sikhi. I don't agree with it and he thinks the whole point of bani is giaan, naam isn't important, there are no miracles in Sikhi, etc. But that's his interpretation. He's not doing what I would call anti-Gurmat parchaar. Just like there's a Taksali Kathakar who might do katha that I don't agree with or say things I don't agree with, I don't try to shut him up. The solution is to do your own parchaar. In the movie, the parbandhaks were looking for a solution. I'm sure that if the Singhs who objected asked for 10 minutes or something to speak after, they'd have been given it. What provoked the incident was Ghugga at the end saying that for 21 years these people were listening that "Mahapurakh are in Chardi kala and will come back". It was a clear reference to Baba Thakur Singh saying Sant Jarnail Singh will be back. There was no ambiguity about it. Clearly he said it in an offensive way. But at the same time, rather than being offended, give a reply. It is disturbing to most Sikhs that for 21 years it was said by Taksal that Sant Jarnail Singh is alive and all of a sudden both factions of Taksal declare he was Shahid. It hurts to hear but it's the truth. Once again, Ghugga's parchaar is not right on a lot of issues. But debate him and show how he's wrong to the Sangat. You can't be goons about it. I especially found that one Singh who picks up the flowers in front of Guru Sahib to throw offensive. What kind of Singh does that? If the "Singhs" are acting like this, then what can we expect from non-Singhs?

Where did you get this Nirmala story? What's the source? Do you really think Guru Sahib would tell his Singhs to give up their rehits and worship the Hindu way just to get Hindu education? Maybe you should use some of that "common sense" you talk about. As for your kirpan argument: I've heard this stuff from anti-Kirpan people but first time I'm hearing it from a Sikh. That's what the anti-Kirpan side was arguing in the Supreme Court of Canada case, that the kirpan is a weapon. Anything can be a weapon. The kirpan is an article of faith. The ban on the kirpan makes no sense. What damage can a small 4" kirpan do that a bottle or rock or some other object can't do? Mayybe you can justify a ban on 3ft kirpans, but a total ban on any size is not justifiable. At any rate, it is a dhill to remove kirpans or any other kakaars. Like I said, perhaps Guru Sahib forgives it with ardaas, but it doesn't make it OK.

If in the future, it is decided that dastaars are not acceptable for flights, and are banned (not so outlandish, seeing as how France has banned dastaars in schools, etc) would all of us Sikhs then also go bare headed on to planes? We can justify our weakness with excuses that we are doing it for the safety of others, etc. but the truth is that taking off the kirpan is a weakness. What security risk does a kirpan pose in comparison to some psycho breaking one of those liqour bottles and using that as a weapon? The total ban on the kirpan is wrong and when we take off our kirpans, we are making a compromise in Gurmat. Guru Sahib is always forgiving, but that still doesn't make it right.

I was wondering if anyone else was having any luck connecting to the live broadcast from Darbar Sahib today. I've been trying for a while and have no luck.

There's a video online that is of Jathedar Wadhawa Singh Babbar talking about the Character of the Singhs in Babbar Khalsa including Bhai Anokh Singh and Bhai Sukhdev Singh. It's worth a watch.

I agree with what everyone has said. This is a situation invovling a Punjabi not so much a Sikh. Punjabi culture is quite different than Sikh. Whereas in Sikhism there is no bar based on background, "race" or class, Punjabi culture is quite the opposite. Background and race do make a difference to Punjabi parents. It of course depends on the individual parents, but some may have a very big problem with it while others not so much. As for Sikhism: unfortunately the translation you read of the line on ang 142 is WAY off. The line refers to two paths of Naam and Maya and the spiritual speaker who picks the one of Naam being emancipated (Dr. Sahib Singh translation). If someone is a dedicated Sikh (your boyfriend doesn't seem to be one), it is necessary for them to find a spiritual partner who shares this journey and shares their Sikhi. So while the cultural issues are probably problematic here, I don't think the religion aspect is very crucial. As you said, it's likely if you did some reading you may know more about Sikhism than him. I would encourage you to read translations of Sri Guru Granth Sahib of course and ask any questions you have on this message board. So it seems the question really is whether his parents will have a problem with you or not. Their view of things won't be guided by religion so much as it will be by Punjabi culture.

Although a Sikh should marry a Sikh (regardless of background/"race"), the fact that the man you are involved with isn't initiated and you are willing to learn more about and perhaps adopt the Sikh path does change things. I think it would have been up to the discretion of both parties here what they wanted to do. The man you are involved with had a very difficult choice and it seems he has made it. If he feels as strongly for you as you feel for him, then perhaps he will change his mind. But ask yourself whether you really would want to be with someone who chose his parents over you anyways. In any future conflicts, he may feel he needs to pick his parents position over yours again and this would obviously cause hurt feelings and marital conflict. "Love" is a funny thing. Our Gurus have taught us that worldly love is very deceiving. Attachment often masks itself as love. It's not so much about how we feel about the other person, but how that person makes us feel and what that person can do for us (either emotionally, financially or even physically). Please don't see this as an attempt to trivialise what you feel. My point is that true love is unconditional. It is independent of feelings. This true love is only born by recognising that the light within me is the same light within you and within all of creation. Although it's likely you're in no mood to read this, I find the 9th Guru's words to put things in perspective: http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=2405 So besides all this abstract stuff you're probably wondering if I have any concrete advice. I would say all you can do now is move on. If he changes his mind, you'll have to consider whether you want to go forward or not, but otherwise move on. I know this is hard for you to believe, and I know when I've spoken to others in your position they havent' been able to see it, but your heart will recover. Time does heal all wounds. Worldly love is like a drug. It impairs your perspective. Right now it may seem like the world is coming to an end. You may feel that you'll never find anyone like him again. No one will understand you like he did. That's probably not the case. With time you'll be able to see that. Countless times people in the past have been in similar situations to yours and they have recovered. Finally I would say, trust in God. I'm not sure what you believe in. I think it would have been an "iffy" decision if you would have become a Sikh for somone else, but I would encourage you to read some verses from Guru Granth Sahib. Its message is universal and speaks to all hearts (no, I'm not trying or going to try to convert you). God has a plan for you. If you are to be married, that union has been pre-ordained. You don't need to worry or feel anxiety. You are in good hands and whatever is happening is happening for the best. I hope you feel better and if there is anything at all we can do (of course in our limited means online), please feel free to ask.

I think you need some help. Speak to some other Gursikhs. You really need to put your kakaars back on and do nitnem and other bani. No one is "worthy enough' to wear kakaars, but once Guru Sahib gives them, it's breaking a promise to take them off. Stop with the "worthy enough" thing all together. If you follow Sikhi, Guru Sahib himself will make you worthy. But it's your duty to follow these rules. As for your dastaar: tie it once and whatever it looks like is fine. No need to perfect it. It looks fine as it is.

I think you know that there is a problem and you want a change. If you didn't you wouldn't have posted anything. You said, "My problem is SELF CONTROL. ". I think I have a different analysis of your problem. I think your problem is sangat. Sangat doesn't mean those people sitting in the Gurdwara listening to kirtan. It means the people you're spending your time with. The people you eat with, talk with, have fun with are your sangat. Who are those people? Do you think they are people you want to be like? Our sangat forms who we are. If you do sangat and spend time with spiritual Gursikhs guaranteed you'll feel some effect. When you hang out with morally and spiritually bankrupt people, your good qualities are going to go as well. Who are you? Are you what you have become? If you had a daughter, would you want her to do the things you are doing right now? Would you want her to have your friends? You aren't a drinker. You aren't a morally corrupt person. You aren't a grinder. So how did this happen? It's your sangat I think. The question is what are you going to do now? When these changes start to happen, our old self screams out for help. Then the voice starts to get more and more faint. Your qualities are draining away. You're at the stage now where you are going to choose who you want to be. Do you want to keep going on the path you're on? Do this. Humor me and make a chart. Make a column for who you were, who you're becoming and who you would like to be. What are the benefits and negatives of each column? I can't see any benefits for who you are becoming: disappoint self, disappoing parents, disappoint Guru. Who are you impressing: some first year teenagers at university. Your school is falling, Sikhi is falling, self-respect is falling. What are you gaining? You are a role model for those little kids that look up to you. Be an example for them. What are they going to learn if their teacher is doing this? Be someone that is centred and dignified. Be a spiritual person. So to close a long rambling post (btw. if you're wondering I don't know you), you have a choice in front of you. Make the choice that you will be proud of yourself of making. Vow never to drink again. Stop with the clubs. If you want to be a Sikh, take a step towards Guru Sahib. He'll take a million towards you. You know what's right, what will really make you happy. Now have the courage to do it.