jkvlondon

like I mentioned that I was idealistic more than my peers because I thought Sikhi was open , all accepting etc etc that was because I didn't get to Guru Pita ji 's advice about not trusting Muslims and those who give oaths (Hindus like nehru and Gandhi come to mind) ...we 've heard the same girls saying 'I don't know why people are against interfaith anand karajs , I mean we allow other faiths in our gurdwarey don't we?' A lack of full knowledge of history and faith is so so dangerous ... we have been feeding them poison via bollywood productions and singers for years , they think they are MOdern if they act like the gorian classic quote was 'we like to be individual innit not wear salwar kameez like our Mums' then you see them in identical jeans and Ts with the same haircuts (facepalm) those girls who were my peers are now having the same problems with their girls because saying NO is out of fashion I watched this vid yesterday and came away thinking if they can make their own daughters accept the kool-aid then why do we feel our girls wouldn't since they versed neither in sikhi or the quran

there are a spectrum of scenarios mine was a one off attack which left me in a precarious position not involving grooming per se(prior to social media thing), others are sweet talked by guys that portray themselves as SIkh , I think if mone started being serious about Sikhi this would really make a difference too...This whole liberal 'find your own' attitude to life partners is somewhat to blame as it has opened the door to sikhi-unaware BOYS and GIRLS starting conversations with non-sikh Punjabis who fail to hear the alarms bells because they don't know the right questions to ask or maybe are too busy living it up being MODERN (facepalm) that anyone who does the same is alright in their book. It is not just girls who are being lead astray , the guys are also being targetted especially by Muslimahs ... The shame game can also affect them too ... My kids only use PC in the family spaces and I also talk to them , but yes sangat they keep is important get to know your kids' friends , invite them around , if your kids are going out know where and with whom , they usually arrange to meet up at mine . If something has gone awry , it is not the end of life , talk and keep channels open and show them that you still care about their welfare, anger blinds and deafens everyone . We grew up in an all-white area and Mum and Dad always emphasised what sikhi said about the alcohol, drugs, shaving, cutting hair etc but because we also could see the people around us getting destroyed by those habits we never once felt tempted . Don't overprotect your daughters equip them with realistic knowledge take them to talks from Sikh Awareness Society and your boys too , so they can understand what a Singh and Kaur is supposed to behave like and protect women of all faiths against.

What I have found is that this violence is so commonplace now that I personally have met around seven ladies who have been through it from all faiths and my open nature has encouraged them to feel safe to share , it is almost like the damaged can feel a like soul out . My eldest son also has this knack to make the people in pain feel safe , it is a blessing I wish we could all cultivate so the healing could really begin for all the families and Girls . One thing I will say is during my secrecy years I would get mad at all those bollywood propaganda in movies that girls who have been attacked should end it , I was vehemently against such an attitude , this is kurdi maar in another guise, it is NOT the Sikh way, look at our history . How many Bibian were attacked in India over the past decades was it their fault ? Today rape is used as payback in India for disagreeing with the status quo, to settle feuds, to humble our people, to destroy a bloodline, a tool of warfare used extensively by the Arabs, Africans, Chinese(tibetans) and now even us: we have hit rock bottom. In the eighties it was one on one attacks in the movies , now surprise surprise it is gang rapes they are educating the cowardly how to go about these crimes. The fault lies in us not empowering the girls by emphasising their bir rass and giving them the mental and physical tools to look after themselves . I remember reading about SInghnian visiting the harem of a muslim king because the Begums were curious about our women and how they were wearing armour carrying full sized arms just like the men, riding and going into the battlefield . We have made our daughters vulnerable because we have not taught them their real roop, their real value , we have not made them familiar with their ancestors, or gurbani and that gap in knowledge has made them an easy target to hoodwink into thinking SIkhi is not so great compared to other paths . Teach a woman her history , her faith, her bani and you will save countless generations of Gursikhs ...you want sikhi to flourish ? this is what we need to do

as far as I know he was half english half paki but grew up in pakistan ...so he could talk english well .He went back to get married according to the work grapevine...and I guess was hoping to exploit me whilst here working and sending money home.

17 and he was late 20s

I agree on a level but there is karmic debt in life too ... the guy was hurt where he felt it the most , his carefully cultivated 'good man/sharif' image I destroyed the respect he had in his circle of family/friends, leaving him nowhere to hide from his crimes. I am not saying all muslim men are bad or all sikh men are good there are both types everywhere ....but I am glad you listen to your Pita ji and respect the bibian around you

because the search for divinity is secondary to the political empire building, the moment they realise they were mistaken they will break ties with the corruption

it is not about getting vengence , maybe there was some lehna dehna karma thing in my case maybe I had wronged that person in a past life but I am ajaan. Trusting Akal Purakh means you trust His Judgement and His Justice , Gurbani says jeho bija so lunai....you reap whatever you sow .... in the end the face he was keeping in front of society was destroyed and that was by the truth alone. Do Ardas for strength patience and insaaf and then leave it in His hands you WILL get an answer . I thought 'why me?', that this was a misfortune, then I realised it had to be, for me to grow spiritually and I realised it was a blessing ultimately.

Truly I know Waheguru has inspired from somewhere to say something to someone in need but for the life of me I cannot remember the words I say afterwards. It has happened more than a few times and I am glad that it helped you but I cannot claim anything it is all His Kirpa I'm nobody special . Trust in Guru ji he is our only hope in this world

the best way to help is to convert that anger to the positive and use it to create safe spaces for your friends and family to talk about such issues , to support not judge our girls often they are naive and do not know how depraved men can be ... I think all Kaurs should be reading Dasam Granth ji to know what power lies within and how low people are without getting into danger.

Veer ji, The thing I learnt over 8 years of self-hate is that I was giving that guy power over my whole future not just that one point in my past , please it's hard I know but you have to trust Guru ji to do sodhna of those people. Forget about making them aware of how you all are hurting they do not care, that's why they did it- to destroy your family ties and peace of mind . You have to stop giving your time , health and power away to these scumbags , and Please please tell your sister that she still is the same worthwhile person she always was , because she will need to hear that to heal herself properly. My folks suffered for a month but then they realised what I had done was keep my family safe and together instead of being selfish and looked for revenge via them. We had a mutual respect after that , even my Dad tried reassure me that it wasn't my fault just my trusting open nature, and he is not the touchy feely type. It made a huge difference and Guru ji would talk to me when I would feel low ...lean on Him

don't worry ...I didn't and I am not ashamed because I fought his control and won with Guru ji's advice to live in truth.

no he raped me as a teen then left the country ...I went on with my life with the intention to not marry but work and do sewa because I felt what kind of Singhni was I that couldn't look after myself ...believe me I would be so disgusted and harsh at myself, I didn't believe I could pollute someone else's life with my cowardice . When he came back he phoned me early morning at halls ...it was a voice that made my blood run cold but I was determined not to let him blackmail me , I would destroy myself before he could destroy those I cared about so I told my folks everything and let the curses and swearing rain down . Then the net time he called he threatened to phone them and tell them about my bad character , you cannot believe how satisfying it was to tell him , 'go ahead , they already know I would look to your own safety' then when I talked to those two muslim girls and told them what his game was they initially didn't believe me then I said 'do you really think a girl like me is going to make her own name badnaam ?' then they believed ...the guy phoned back livid , cursing 'I only told them the truth'. Guru ji has my back ...always; I know it now .

DOn't worry veer ji, I'm much older and wiser now , I'm just glad that Akal Purakh opened my eyes to the lows of human nature because I was a very idealistic singhni because I thought it was wrong to to be against anyone , that I had to cultivate samm drist but Now I realise how important bibek is ... what and who is Godward and to judge by actions not just words . Now I have a daughter approaching eight I am careful to let her know that I will listen to anything that is bothering her , same with my sons because I know that boys between 17 and 21 are at the peak of violence against them and I didn't want them to feel that they had to protect me from their pain

I went through this myself , by myself but I called his bluff after I came clean with my folks after 8 years of keeping quiet . The guy had left the country very soon after the initial attack and then returned when I started uni and used some musilmahs to get my phone at halls from my folks so he could threaten me . It was a nightmare that I had to confront because it was destroying my desire for bhagti , all I knew is the truth is what I needed to embrace and to man up and tell my folks . it was really really tough Mum was really hurt because I didn't feel like I could trust her with my pain but I knew that I had younger bros and sis to consider if they had done something stupid against that guy my siblings could have gotten taken into care and I would not allow that Man to have more power over my life ...pretty level-headed for a teenager. At the time it was tough training but it allowed me to see the others in pain and to help them . It made that guy implode that he couldn't scare me ...and I informed the muslimahs that they too had been used and this guys was a scumbag . please do not blame my folks they love us and taught us sikhi and helped us by putting all the hours together to raise us ...the fault is mine because I could only see the potential good in all and trusted a work colleague because he had stood up for those muslimahs in a similiar situ

funny thing is I live in redbridge and there was an attempted kidnap in hainault at a primary school and ALL the schools were sending out letters advising kids travelling in groups and keeping eye out for each other and there was a description of the vehicle involved THE SAME DAY

But given that the new generations 2nd 3rd generation gursikhs are much more with it , and believe and want to seek out the deeper knowledge and their children are definitely coming in with Gurbani embedded from birth ...number of bhujangis I've seen who reject banal music for kirtan and naam it's amazing .

point is the ones getting assimilated are the ones who want to be ...i.e. they believe they are better than regular Gursikhs

the amazing thing is the school was aware of this guy and didn't warn their female pupils to stay away ...

I find it so hard to see the twisting puratan history to prove impeccable examples of sant sipahi made out to look like druggies , sukhniddan is supposed to be made with 5 leaves right? and is a medicine right? and Gurbax SIngh ji was fighting it the field at that time right? and did he not do Shaheedi the same way as Baba Deep Singh ji ? it is interesting to see that lists of historical characters prior to 1900 have been omitted /erased/ or maligned so anyone doing research and who had no real contacts in the nihang world or taksali world would believe the BS flying about . Waheguru ji kirpa karo sanu ik kinka ehna de sikhi deho

aarta is Bhagat Dhanna ji's bani within the collection

true some strange entries noted also. but what do we expect when we have panth dokhis in charge of our asthaans and literary treasures

OK historically evidence points to opposite that people have claimed here ..1977 Sant Kartar Singh Cut Indira's nose in public by his karari karari speech ...so she wanted to get her own back on taksalis . I doubt seriously any Taksali would have supported the congress party because they were speaking up against Indira's electoral cheating and holding onto power by state of emergency laws ,along with the SIkhs who had spine.

or maybe tell them to go full on gursikhs as the vedas that they venerate told them their next poojnik avatar would be Guru Nanak Dev ji ....

The yazidis are doing the necessary rescuing their womenfolk themselves and taking full accounts of each woman's experiences so that when the time comes they have the statements and evidence to get justice for them . We are in a similar situation our loved ones are being disappeared , attacked, tortured and raped and not many people are focussed enough to collect and collate the eyewitness accounts because they think what is the point ...the point is things will not always be the same and then we have everything we need . The jews didn't hesitate in collecting their accounts because they realised this . We need to focus on collecting evidence , supporting the shaheed pariwars and educating the children and young adults in what is the reality of Sikhi not what SGPC and Virasat e Khalsa would have our future generation believe...