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KS07

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  1. Hello all I am a 32 year old sikh girl living with my parents. I have not taken Amrit but I am a sincere individual with full respect of my religion. I do Nitnem and join the Sangat at the Gurudwara Sahib. I understand I am not amritdhari but still request some input for my query. Just to give a little background about my situation, I am in a relationship with an individual who is white for the past 6 months or so. I meet him once in a while and usually we just talk on the phone and via emails or messages. He is a great guy. He is respectful not only to me but also towards my religion and culture. We always talk about how things will work when we get married. He has no problem going to the Gurudwara or raising our children as sikhs. Also he never initiated any physical relationship as he understands the values of a sikh girl. Despite not meeting in person too much, we do get along very well and share the same beliefs towards life. I am a vegan and he totally supports me. In fact he stopped eating meat as he wants to support me not just in words. I can describe more qualities about him but to summarize we love each other and want to get married in a year or so. We are both busy and focused on our careers and again 6 months is too short of a time to make a such big decision. We want to get to know each other and get to that point. Unfortunately I can't do that as dating or meeting other men is not appropriate. On the other hand I am being forced to say yes to an arranged match. I met the guy for 30 mins at a family get together and was asked to get married. This is a very tough for me as I feel I am being asked to give up on my relationship which I have full faith in. I am not able to tell my parents about him due to obvious reasons. My parents are so unhappy with me as I turned down the match they chose. They hate me and have said quite harsh words. I am being asked to leave my house. I don't want to justify myself here but then I didn't plan to meet a guy and like him. I didn't go searching for a man especially a white man. We met and we clicked.I have always respected my family and did everything they asked of me. Be it choosing my university or my clothes. I always did what they wanted. I don't go out and party or drink and all. I have a small circle of friends and barely meet them. I have two jobs and I keep busy with my life. Am I wrong? Am I selfish as I am thinking about choosing my life partner and making this decision on my own? Does it make me less of a Sikh or a good daughter? I am heartbroken at the constant tension at home. No one is talking to me. My father told me that he wants me to leave if I am not going to get married to this guy or any other guy they choose. I thank you all.
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