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Sbhullar

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Everything posted by Sbhullar

  1. @ sheikh Thanks brother. Just need blessings. Ofcourse i will share my pics. I m hopeful n believe that waheguru g will let me get thru this hard time and will bring peace n happiness all around. When i joined this forum, i was so confused and wanted to see from others perspective how they luk into this situation. I got support n few stood against . Thanks to those who supported me and thanks to those who stood against as now i feel more determined towards my goal. I feel happy to say that within this couple days i mean since i joined this forum, i met two angels who will support in my journey. Feeling blessed. Thanks from the bottom of my heart brother. God bless you.
  2. Thanks everyone. I had enough inputs from you all. We should stop here. Thanks.
  3. My parents havent consumed amrit but they read gurbani everyday. His family have consumed amrit and when i came to know, we both had decided that we will follow his family path and will consume amrit together
  4. @sat g His grandparents dont have two years and its their last wish to see us married. What can be done ?
  5. @sat Thanks for your advice. Yes, i m ready for turning into amritdhari and before you said this thats my goal. N not just my goal but its his goal too.. @ sat Yes i m argumenting because you were talking about sharm or laaj . Anyways leave.
  6. @ sat If your daughter come and ask same thing , what would you do , will you kill her ?
  7. @sheikh Thankyou for your support. 'I m still looking forward to have everything peacefully. I m trying every posible way to convince them. My wish is to have my family n my love n his family altogether. That would be heaven for me and i would b the happiest girl. Thanks for your support bro.
  8. @ Jagsaw I never set that if i go for arrange marriage my in law set me to fire or sumthing. I am not against arrange marriage. I m just saying that if my parents cant trust a guy i chose as they think may be he is takinng advantage for money or just to come abroad, then how can they sumone they wud chose?? I wont into detail but my bro in law is one such example. My parents chose him. My sis hv to adjust acc to him. But they way he treat my sis, my family cant bear. My parents dont like my bro in laws behaviour. But wat can they do. Even if he slap my sis, my parent cnt go n stop him. No matter who chose, parents or a girl, you have to trust sumbody. Rest is luck.
  9. @ khalsa1469 Longterm effects: If i leave him, i wont marry and throughout the life i will regret (if i will be able to survive) My parents will b happy. Society will be happy. But i will die each day like now. On the otherside, if he will b able to survive than he will b forced to marry sumbdy innocent to whom he would never be able to do justice. N if he does something to himself than his whole family happiness and life is gone as he is dear to his family. Yeah this society wil be happy as he didnt gt married sumbdy out of caste. Life is too short to make others happy.
  10. They are still quiet a few honest people in india. Relationships are based on trust. What if tomorrow, my prnts select a guy and he tourches me after wedding. You alwz have to take risk. Today its my parents decision , tomorrow if i have some issues than my parents cant come and help bcz at that time it will be called interference. I believe family comes first than society. God forbid, if there is fire in a forest and u have ur family member and somebody from society , who would you save first?????? Would you sacrifice your family member for society or you would save family first n then society????? 2. He is a one in a million guy.he got so many alliance from US , MBBS girls etc . He could have gone for others if coming to abroad so his only concern. If you read matrimonial page even in newspapers , u wud get bunch of those alliances. But thats not wat he wants. If money / property was something they are lookong for , than first of all his and his family is well off. Secondly his dad would never ever said that come here if your parents dont agree after our last try, i will treate you as my own daughter and marry you with him. In that case fhey know i will be gng there empty hands, no property or anything. There is no greed for anything.
  11. @ khalsa1469 Thanks for your comments. To a some extend, you are right. 1. Most the guys misuse and cheat to come abroad for better lifestyle. I 100% agree with this. Sir, my ask from my parents was go, meet and investigate and then make any decision. This would give them chance to know whether this guys is not trying to take my advantage. Secondly, i told my parents that he was got a opportunity from his job to come here. At that time he rejected it due to some health conditions of his family member. Sir, i sAid to my parents if thats what you think, than lets wait for him to come here on his own then you make a decision. That will prove everything. Next, i told my parents that he has already applied to come here on PR basis just to prove this that he is not after PR girl. Sir, there are still many people
  12. @garch Well to me having a bf means i have chosen a partner with whom i m ready to spend rest of my life. I dont see anything wrong or against sikhi.
  13. @garch First of all let me clear this habing a bf doesnt mean having physical relnship. We both are countries apart so i dont think wat you are saying have anything to do in this case. Secondly, lust can be fulfilled anywhere with anybody. Its not love. And i m not that cant of girl. So i would suggest before jumping to a conclusion better ask for clarifications.
  14. @kharkusingh, i agree with you thst wat i believe.spciety is secondary. What matters here shud ur family ur kids happiness. We cannot make whole world happy.
  15. Well i m nt teenager talking abt my relationship. We have sincere relationship and matured enough to mk decisions.. I dont know why lust came into this topic, rubbish.
  16. To all with positive comments thanks for your support..... I love my family and i love his family too. I dont wana loose either of them. I want you guys to give me some ideas how i can convince my family. Dont say run away bcoz thats not wat i m looking for. I need to make my dad understand things from our sikhi, what are gurus wants to teach us. I need examples from our sikh history to state that castism is not a part of sikhisms. @ghettosikh You are right. This is what i never understand whats the difference bw the two. Its just a proffesion, isnt it? Who cares wat his dad or families proffession is. I asked my dad same question, but he said theres nothing wrong in the profession its just caste. I would have agreed to my parents decision if he was from different religion bcz then u have different god religions etc i wud still understand . But here everything is same. On the top of it me and his proff is same. @jsinghnz Yes i have spoken to my dad and tried to make him understand with some examples from sikhi. But he is Worried abt society. I dont understand if tomorrow i have some prob in my married life will society come to resolve the issues? Ppl will talk no matter wat thats their job. I have cousin who got married to a guy with his parents choice. After having frst kid, my cousin came to know that she is his third wife. And all of his previous wives have kids too.so how society will help my cousin. What was her fault ? And guess wat she hv no place to go, nt even her parents house. Thats how our society make us to suffer. Anyways if you guys have any ideas, i would appreciate if you can share with me. ThNkyou everyone.
  17. Thanks everyone for your positive and negatives comments Replying to @garch and @jagsawsingh: I dont think i have committed anything wrong by chosing with whom i should spend rest of my life. This society wont come after those girls and save them who undergo domestic violence. We have to live our whole life with it no matter wat. And at that time some parents may say thats your fate. I chose my partner may be you can call me shamless but i have given the right to my parents to decide. And i m here discussing this because i still wana have my parents marry me with him with their consent. My dad likes him n his family. He got no other issue other than caste. If there was some other reason than i would have agreed. But just caste isnt wat u luk for while chosing a groom. I have seen cases where even after having a baby kick their wife out of the house, make their wife just a slave. If this is wat we call our culture and for you is pride. Then i m i have right to live and chose. And by the way if you r sikh i want to ask you why the heck we go to golden temple the bonge was made by ramgharias. Why you go to sikh temple and sit in sangat for langar without knowing the caste of the person sitting beside you. Next time you go to guru ghar make sure to check whether the person who made the langar was of ur caste or from lower caste. Thanks for your comments.
  18. Ssa g , My boyfriend is ramgharia sikh (age 28) and i m jatt sikh ( age 27) and we are in 4 years of relationship. We are very much compatible to each other. He is in india, in IT field earning gud salary. Doesnt eat meat or drink and is in sikhi with beard and kesh. I m living in canada and i m also in IT field. I have been trying to convince my parents from a long tim now but they are not ready to accept because of caste issue. My parents feel they will be disgraced in society and what people will say that instead of going upward you are letting your daughter mary in a lower caste. His family is very coperative and have tried every single way to convince my parents. On my parents visit to india they (his family) infact tried to meet and talk to my parents. But all in vain. They than tried to go directly to meet my parents but my parents didnt opn the door. I tried to convince my parents as well by say just gp and see them once and then make a decision but they arent agreeing to it. Finally i told them that i dont wana live with them, then came back and said ok we will talk to my eldest sis and bro in law who by now have no clue about all this. I know my family and i know its a trap for me. My bro in law is strict and no one likes him in my family but anyway they wana ask him. On the other side my boy friends family is all set to welcome me and fix my wedding. They have asked their relatives if they have any issue with this matter and plus if i go there without my family supporting me. I m in this pressure where morally i dont like the idea of eloping and getting married. I always wanted this to happen with my parents consent which doesnt seem to be happening. I told to chose him or ny family. If i chose him i will be happy but my parents may not be able to accept it. If i chose my family, i had to live with regret throughtout my life and it will be too shocking for his family abd relatives who supported me from last 2 yrs. Can you please help me what should i do. I love my parents and i love him too. He is one of a kind. Please help me as this pressure is killing me day by day.
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