MisterrSingh

+1. I'd add that it becomes less important as the couple grow into the relationship as the years go by. But for the initial attraction phase, even when potential partners are introduced to each other by a third party, you won't get far if the spark of an attraction isn't there. Only transcendental beings immune to the lures of the flesh will argue otherwise.

I worry for Ajeet IF he goes through with this and, as I suspect, his prospective wife eventually discovers he is gay, which isn't something that can be kept perpetually secret in Indian society. The natural response from her end will be to lash out, alert all and sundry to this shocking revelation, and maybe take things further in order to punish the architects of the deception. What you're proposing is a HUGE ask for two constitutents of a relationship who come from a tolerant and civilised background and culture; expecting the same from our people in that part of the world -- even in so-called metropolitan Mumbai -- is demanding the impossible in my opinion.

Have you been in the company of resident Punjabis for even a few moments? Because I'm not recognising any of those traits you're attributing to them, lol. The glass-half-full approach is admirable, but doesn't apply to junglee people, and I say that as someone with some junglee blood coursing through my veins.

It's a tough one. Most of the time you've got to play the game to escape the game. Also, much of our positive self-image and others' perception of our value as individuals is tied up in our education and social status, and if you're the kind of person for whom the family, extended family, and wider community are keenly interested in your various achievements, not having that safety net in place can be a galling experience, moreso if you happen to fall on hard times. The modern education system in places like the States and the UK is a dog's dinner particularly in state schools. It's an absolute joke. If I had kids i would never send them to be indoctrin... uh, educated at school. I'd homeschool them. But that requires a parent with an uncommon singular vision and desire to provide a superb learning experience for their offspring. Sadly, most of our lot can't wait to drop the little punks off at the school gate in the morning.

1. An injustice was meted out on the Palestinian people when their land was seized to form the Israeli state. The signing of the Balfour Declaration (a cause that was personally spearheaded by the scion of the Rothschild clan on behalf of the Zionist federation), which essentially was the rubber stamp from the British government for the formation of that new country. It's the seemingly one-sided and frankly excessive and unequivocal subsequent American support for all Israeli activity in the part of the world that seems to irk most Israeli opponents. 2. Equally, post-Holocaust it was the feeling that the Jews needed their own country so that if another situation arose where they were being targeted in whichever host country they happened to reside at the time, for whatever reason, they could escape to their own country and be safe. That's an understandable position, and something we as Sikhs should appreciate considering the events in our relatively recent history. 3. One of the reasons the United States is heavily invested in Israel is a commonly unmentioned belief held by certain factions of evangelical Christians that populate the Senate and other influential sectors of the U.S. government, who believe in an End Of Days scenario whereby the Messiah will return to Earth once Jerusalem is declared the capital of Israel. An apocalyptic prophecy heralding, presumably, bad times for Muslims. Moving the American embassy to Jerusalem (which is what's mainly contributed to the recent unrest) is considered to be a provocative move by the States in effect bringing the world closer to that apocalyptic scenario. 4. Israel is considered to be the Goliath to Palestine's David, and with the full weight of American political and financial support behind all Israeli decisions and actions in Israel's desire to defend itself, it causes a sense of festering resentment to foment at the idea of Israel's treatment of the Palestinian underdogs. As we know, everyone roots for the little guy. 5. Israel is basically an ethno-state which adheres closely to the practices of ethno-nationalism ("nations defined by a shared heritage, which usually includes a common language, a common faith, and a common ethnic ancestry") which they would argue is essential for their protection and future prosperity from a demographics perspective. It's one of the reasons the "attribute" or claim to Jewishness is passed down on the mother's side, and conversion to Judaism, when a non-Jew is to marry a Jew, is considered to be a fundamental requirement. In essence, you will not be seeing Israel throw open the doors to non-Jewish immigrants. In fact, they are known to be somewhat wary of ethnically black Jews from places in Africa who wish to settle in Israel. The thought processes on the part of Israelis behind such issues are constantly traced back to the persecution faced by Jews throughout their history in terms of their need to protect themselves from outside threats. 6. As for Sikhs supporting Palestine, particularly those with a visible platform to shape opinions, etc., it's an issue that ties into the greater subject of political belief, and from my rather cynical experiences I've observed that to stand with Palestine is the archetypal Cause du Jour of any aspiring liberal / progressive; a rite of passage, if you will, before being awarded the figurative badge of being a champion of the downtrodden. Psychologically, it's considered to be a clear-cut ethical situation of Good Vs Evil (with the Israelis constituting the latter). It doesn't require much thought or nuance, unlike the thorny issue of Sikh secession from a hostile Indian regime that's has graduated from visible and physical hostility and destruction of our people, our beliefs, our history, and our institutions, to the less visible acts of subversion, degradation, and eventual submersion and assimilation into the Hindu mainstream. But that's way too complicated and nuanced a cause to process and tackle. Plus, Mera Bharat Hai Mahan; Bhindrawale was a terrorist; Sikhs are unfashionable, etc. It's much simpler to throw one's weight behind a movement populated by BILLIONS of Muslims and MILLIONS of hip, liberal, vain whites. Less to think about. Those dopamine highs gained from posturing on social media won't be forthcoming when posting about Sikh rights.

I can imagine that conversation between the doctor and the patient.

Well, if you plan on taking a few for the team I'm sure things will be fine. She'll probably gain an inordinate amount of weight after the marriage, so you won't have to put up with her bedroom eyes for too long. Once she gets a kid or two to occupy her hours, she'll be too busy and tired to bother you. Good luck.

Regardless of her qualities and virtues, or lack thereof, have some pity on her.

The sad thing is you're probably correct. Still, that's a very nihilist attitude to adopt especially since you are kind of deceiving her for your own benefit. I'm sure she would've preferred a glimmer of happiness and genuine hetero affection, but if she's anything like you've described she probably wouldn't know what to do if a good man did enter her life. Still, It's a morally questionable path you've embarked upon. Very murky.

The passive aggressive posturing begins in earnest, lol. Mental feebleness. Who fills their heads with this cack? I've had the misfortune to glance at a few of these trite Punjabi memes / proverbs that are posted on WhatsApp, and it genuinely boggles the mind. Spending a lifetime with someone who considers the nonsense found in those posts to be a form of profound wisdom, really does fill me with despair, lol.

Don't be disillusioned and don't lose heart. These struggles are character building and will ultimately make you stronger and provide you with valuable experiences you would never encounter if life coasted along from one success to the next. Indians are not known to think outside the box and deviate from the well-trod path, but sometimes people in places of authority aren't always correct, and believe it or not they don't always have your best interests at heart. That's possibly quite a mildly traumatic revelation to someone who believes the "system" is always beyond reproach. Take it as a lesson; keep your head down and do what needs to be done but NEVER give away your ideas even in an educational environment. Never.

I have my own weapon, too:

Jatts.

It's a marriage song.

A very small part of rectifying the issue you're describing is striking back against the mainly erroneous and lazy idea that Punjabi culture, from an intellectual perspective, has nothing to offer the younger generations. There needs to be some form of movement -- dare I say with some distance from the binary orthodoxy of organised religion -- that encourages them to connect to certain wonderful parts of our heritage, even if they aren't interested in the coarse, occasionally mindlessly one dimensional aspects of it, which is a flimsy argument to begin with when considering some of the debased and shallow practices in western culture that our lot seem to be in awe of for various reasons. Some of this stems from a chronic insecurity on our part of being seen to be going "backwards" instead of embracing the possibilities inherent in the entirety of our host culture. Again, this feeds into my theory of contemporary Sikhs being crippled by a desire to be seen to be objective and fair (stemming from the egalitarian teachings of Sikhi), but which results in us shooting ourselves in the foot by turning against the very things we should be championing and preserving, because if we don't then who else is going to?

I'll have to give it further thought, but regarding your question I'd say it's something unique to us in our makeup that is evident in notable moments in our history as a community, when certain of our own have disgraced and betrayed their fellow Sikhs for some form of gain (on a scale of varying magnitude). Also, our sense of fairness and desire to be viewed as objective is taken to extremes by some of our people who lack the wisdom and insight to appreciate how we also have a duty to elevate our profile in a positive way that doesn't undermine our standing amongst other groups who are hostile to our collective interests and our existence. If that means battening down the hatches and occasionally keeping things in-house, then so be it. Being a comparative minority we have every right to exert our rights for our self-interest. But we simply lack the foresight and intelligence to think that far ahead for ourselves. It's one of the reasons I feel we will slip further into irrelevance as the years go by. There's very little loyalty in our collective consciousness, and when larger, more powerful and influential groups observe this behaviour in subordinate groups, you best believe they're rubbing their hands in glee at the potential for subverting and controlling that particular group. But you'll never hear anyone in our faith talking of such issues. Mostly everything that is a key marker of positive growth and prosperity in a non-material manner for any thriving community, is stagnant for us in many ways. Spiritually, we are dead. Even our overt displays of religiosity are in many ways nothing but a performance for the benefit of impressing others or in some cases acts of wilful self-delusion. Apologies for the early morning black pills, lol.

There's a line. A wise, respectful individual can make their point and express themselves creatively without crossing that line. Not so wise individuals regularly find themselves crossing the line and falling flat on their chittar. We are a community of clowns and sellouts.

That's an astute observation. I'm not saying it's applicable across the board, but I'd hazard a guess it plays into the psychology of some white men who assume they're getting a more authentic, traditional partner in an Asian female compared to their white women. If only they knew, lmao!

It's funny how having an outside perspective on an issue causes one to think about the same issue in a wholly different way. I've never considered the idea that donating dry goods, such as fruit, vegetables, flour, etc, to be an issue in itself, but having read OP's question I started wondering how impersonal it does seem -- to dump a bunch of ingredients in a carrier bag at the gurdwara so someone else can use them to prepare a meal -- to someone not accustomed to the valid traditions and ways of the langar system. Of course, logistically and for religious reasons such as the previously mentioned idea of sucham, I wouldn't be comfortable eating langar that I know has originated wholly from someone else's kitchen. Yes, the potential for "questionable practices" isn't 100% eliminated in the gurdwara's own kitchen, but it's a good leveller and a necessary base of operations for the langar system which is a cornerstone of our religion in many ways.

Yeah, he's cool.

Someone gets it.

Today, it's a Bank Holiday in the UK; a U.S. federal public holiday equivalent. Big Tera's bored, hence the bait.

Gangsta culture is as alien to us as Punjabi culture is alien to black gangstas. So why do we emulate their ways?

Lived it, bought the kurta, you foolish pajama. Just don't implicitly encourage / incite other potentially vulnerable people reading your posts to believe the sweet release of death will be a solution to their problems, you devious snake.