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MisterrSingh

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Everything posted by MisterrSingh

  1. I don't have a sister or any female relatives, BUT I am quite adept at empathising and placing myself in other people's shoes, and I'll tell you Singh, I'd go nuts if some Sikh guy (Gursikh or not) started going out with someone in my family to "test the waters" for a few years, and then dropped her in the end. Call me old fashioned, but that stuff still doesn't sit right with me. I know what you're saying: there's tonnes of people that do things the "right" way that still end up getting jerked around, but I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water, not at all. As oppressive and hypocritical as Punjabi culture and society can be, I consider it a huge source of sadness when someone's previously stellar reputation is besmirched through an error of judgement, naiveté, or even through no fault of their own. I don't judge non-Sikhs who date - not one iota - cos if it works for them, more power to them. But as Sikhs, nah, we should function and hold ourselves to a higher standard.
  2. Would you be okay with a Singh dating your sister for a while and it not leading to marriage? You'll find your answer in your response. Admittedly, away from Sikhi and Punjabi cultural norms, there are aspects to dating that are positive (mostly to do with discovering how the opposite gender operates in those situations, thus not being swept away and being in thrall to the only person you've "been" with, because you're a bit wiser as to navigate the minefield that is relationships), but when it comes to our lot, it's mostly lust. Concerns regarding self-realisation, etc, don't figure much in our thinking.
  3. That above is a telling - and vital - indicator that what these youngsters TALK about when it comes to their beliefs is actually far removed from what's occurring in their heads and their hearts. True belief doesn't exist inside of them; the external, visual adornments are there for the world to see, but the internal is hollow and bare. I'm beginning to believe it's all too easy for anyone to declare themselves a Sikh of the Guru based on what they say and what they look like; taking Amrit has been trivialised and devalued in recent times. Things will continue to get worse.
  4. That's exactly what they do. Media corporations, news channels, etc., all have an agenda to push depending on who they're batting for. Who are they trying to fool? Yup, it's us at home. I don't buy conspiracy theories and whatnot, but these are not conspiracy theories, but actual ways and systems that modern broadcasters use to disseminate their message to the masses.
  5. That's all it is. He wants to rile people up so that they phone in.
  6. Human nature is most comfortable with regimented ritual and order; anything linear, one dimensional and relatively transparent is easy to grasp and easier to follow. Abstract concepts that stretch beyond our initial understanding are rejected. Funnily enough, it's why you get some Sikhs obsessing over the ritualistic aspects of the faith (there's ritual in EVERYTHING; brushing teeth is a ritual. Don't take it as a pejorative those of you who grab the wrong end of the stick more often than not) whilst overlooking the complex, non-linear and abstract parts of the Sikh faith. For most people who follow a religion, they just want a set of instructions to follow that results in salvation.
  7. Got to be a contributing factor. The insidious and extreme feminisation (nothing to do with homosexuality, before anyone chimes in) of modern males, making them prone to offer less resistance when... things turn bad is something that also non-Sikhs are falling victim to. Guys wearing skinny jeans and being bombarded from all angles with images of the "ideal" male possessing delicate bodily frames and similarly effeminate features - whilst a spurious and possibly amusing example of this so-called feminisation - is one telling signal of how modern man is being under the cosh from angles. Usually, it's these type of males that are so "thirsty", they'll do anything to keep a potential or a current partner happy.
  8. A Dasvandh system might fly in the UK, but you can imagine in somewhere like the US, there'd be riots, lol. They're still struggling with universal healthcare; try to explain the concept of Vand Shakna, and they'll label you a Commie. I've always viewed Dasvandh as a personal concept or commitment. I've never thought of it as something that could be implemented on a wider basis. Who knows, one day when we have our own state, it's something that could be implemented.
  9. Awesome stuff, brother. I'm always up for making things spicy with ginger, chillies, etc, so that won't be an issue. I've had a problem with carbs in non desi food since I turned 30 a couple of years back. It doesn't sit right with me at all. Even apparently okay stuff like wholewheat pasta and brown rice I can't eat too much of for some reason. Carbs in desi food, no problem, but English stuff? Nah, it congeals inside me whilst I'm eating, lol. Thanks again.
  10. Yeah, it was the carbs aspect of white rice I was concerned about. Well I'll give these rice noodles a try and see how they feel to me. My first port of call will be those eggless wholewheat noodles from Sainsburys. Those would be lovely with a stir fry.
  11. Bhenji, what's the deal with rice noodles? I understand they're made from white rice, so do rice noodles have the same downside to them as white rice? When I do eat rice, it's brown.
  12. Now that's what I'm talking about. Nice one, bhenji, looks like I'll be making a trek to Sainsburys tomorrow. I have my own bag (I'm not made of money) ?
  13. Unfortunately, I'll be sticking to my normal stuff. I can't be eating Quorn, even if it is now eggless. I was looking for some wholewheat noodles for a healthy stir fry a few days ago, and I thought I'd struck gold, but it turns out they had egg in them. Why would they do that paagalpuna? Nobody puts egg in wholewheat pasta so why do it for noodles.
  14. I'm getting the big trolley, lol.
  15. Have they really? So that's no eggs too?
  16. It's a bit of both IMO, when it comes to apportioning blame for who's responsible for instigating abortions back home. In some cases where the guy is top-dog and isn't the kind to be pushed around and manipulated by women, he keeps a keen eye on such developments and gets them sorted when and if they occur. In most other cases, especially where the guy is one of those carefree, overgrown children who hasn't got a clue about anything, it's definitely the mother-in-law who gets the ball rolling. And then there's the few cases where ingrained cultural attitudes transcend gender and education - as posted by Jonny Ji above - where even professional, educated women don't baulk at terminations. For them, it's as routine as going to get a filling for a tooth. I kid you not.
  17. The old-school mettle that characterised our people has ebbed away over the years. It's par for the course when you have immigrant communities who've settled overseas, and successive generations take on, arguably, some of the less desirable qualities of their host country. The problem with us is that we take things too far at times. Oh well, it's impossible to police everyone, not that I'd want to.
  18. Anyone else keeps misreading the title as "mama's" boy, I.E. your mum's brother, lol?
  19. Anyone else curious to see where this will all end? What's the end game for us in situations like these? The anarchist in me says to let the pieces fall where they may. What can honestly be done about animal attraction?
  20. I absolutely agree with you. There's so much truth in the above. Without wishing to reveal too much about myself, the lessons learned through falling and then recovering from those falls are invaluable. You could have a guardian angel sitting on your shoulder for decades, telling you to do this and not do that, but until you feel the "pain" of life yourself, you'll never learn those lessons that will stand you in good stead until the end of life.
  21. Awesome questions, and I'm pleased someone on here is thinking along these lines. Speaking purely from my perspective, having been raised by a single mother (my old man passed away when I was a child; he wasn't old at all, hehe), my mother's Gursikhi helped her in many, many respects. She's actually more of a Singh than any Singh I've ever met in my life. Her psyche consists of what one would consider inherently positive masculine qualities (not prone to gossip; a mind that grasps the bigger picture instead of fixating on small, inconseqential trivialities; encouraging self-sufficiency and mental strength without losing one's compassion, etc), so in that respect I've been very fortunate. In short, it is absolutely possible for a woman to raise a "man". She just needs to have the various tools at her disposal to achieve that feat. For my mum, those tools came through her Sikhi. That's one of the primary reasons i advocate the universal aspects of Sikhi (as opposed to the Punjabiyat way of viewing existence) because I've seen Sikhi at work in my life for decades, and it's the real deal. Not just lip service, dekhava, or dressing up and lauding it over others, but genuine living and breathing it, come rain or shine.
  22. Unfortunately, people who are against a Sikh man standing up to his lady wife also seem to believe that a man being firm entails him smacking her around or repressing her existence, emotionally or otherwise. It's like they can't fathom the idea that a man can be strong and forthright without being a boorish tyrant who throws his weight around in ways that don't result in physical violence. You'll find that kind of pre-emptive "scare tactics" used particularly in the West on males in the Sikh diaspora is why many males are afraid of speaking up against their women. In a way, it's the responsibility of the father to give his son the necessary tools to navigate married life. If the father himself is subdued by his missus, the son has no chance, unless he's particularly bright and realises that he won't be doing things that way. I use to think this was a strictly overseas phenomena (Sikh male unable to put his missus right), but I'm hearing there's considerably similar things going on back home as well. That's quite surprising, to me at least.
  23. Balance is essential. As a guy, if you can't take care of yourself (basic survival skills within the context of our first world existence) and generally are unable to keep an eye on the finer details of your life, then you're basically a man-child. Of course, you'll get devious individuals using this "mama's boy" accusation to spur weak men into neglecting their duties towards their elders, usually by wives who want to turf their husband's parents into an old people's home when they need care, lmao. But God forbid her brother's wife should suggest the same for her own parents! Unsurprisingly, the irony of the situation and the double standards are entirely lost on her. In summary, be self-sufficient; don't wait for someone to come along and do stuff for you. It's embarrassing and not becoming of a Sikh to be helpless or lazy. Equally, don't allow devious individuals to label you in ways that guilt you into neglecting your responsibilities.
  24. Predictably, you've missed the point of the complaints. Nobody, certainly not myself, has claimed you're manufacturing anything. I believe you're telling the truth, in as much as you saw and felt what you claimed you did. What I'm questioning are your motivations. Also, the strength of one's religiosity and spirituality is not measured by how difficult you, or anyone else, has had it in life. That way lies an almost inverse snobbery, whereby the assumption is that only the destitute are capable of realising God. (Although I believe that to be untrue, a cursory glance at modern religious Sikhs does send mixed signals to anyone who cares to observe such issues. But that's a subject for another time.) Again, nobody is saying that at all. What I am saying is, per your own words, you unwittingly revealed a glaring insight into your mind, when you defined getting an extension done as the contributor to a hugely stressful year. That's such a terribly middle class thing to say, lol. It showcases an insensitivity to people who experience genuine hardships and stresses not brought upon the shallow inconvenience of having their comfortable existence perturbed for a few weeks due to having thousands of pounds available to extend their home, adding further value to their property. You made it sound as if you were undergoing a life-destroying ordeal; how does one justify demanding or wishing for a holy experience in such mundane and unimportant circumstances? If that's all you've known, then you can't really be blamed. But some awareness beyond your own existence would've told you that others find God through the most trying of circumstances, and to hear someone sermonising about their experiences, which really aren't that exceptional, only serves to promote even further the belief that God is not real, and that these experiences are self-willed and self-induced, especially if he turns up to comfort someone who's flustered at getting their house extended! All those souls who pray for comfort and darshan when being abused; suffering from starvation; suffering from life-threatening illnesses, why does He not offer them affirmation as to His existence? So, you see how that can damage people's faith? I did not mean to upset you or cast doubt on the validity of your experiences. For any crossed wires, I sincerely apologise.
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