Dear brother - you went through tough time and now your soul is questioning the purpose of the human life. This is a very unique thing to do but not many get this realization until they are close to waheguru's calling (old age). As saying in punjabi, if one get the religious calling early in life then that soul has perfect chance to mend their life and in my opinion this happened to you. Naturally when we go thru any difficult times, we always seek god. You are trying to understand about sikh dharam and i believe that you should start a religious practical journey. Waheguru jee was with you during the tough time you went thru last year.
As gurbani says, "Take one step toward him, he will take thousands step to reach you." Start with reading Guru Granth Sahib ji online. Learn punjabi. Help others. Slow journey but fruitful in the end as waheguru ji wishes.