hello.. I'm a bit shy for being a woman and talking on this subject (so please, forgive me), but I thought of adding my little experience from the other side, as wife, since my husband has the same condition of tight skin, but which has not been a problem at all (and we've been gifted with two beautiful healthy sons); I'd certainly would never disclose any intimacy from my husband, but the anonimacy of this forum, along with an intend to share an experience which could benefit other couples, compeled me to write this..
When we first became intimate with each other, intercourse was a bit difficult for him, very similar to what OP said, but after a few attempts he found the right way, an easy technique which has worked wonderfully, so he never had to endure doing any stretching (nor any painful, traumatic surgery): it meant he just had to hold the base of his virility, and push the skin forwards from there, right when he was inserting, and once inside is all good... this way any forced pull down was prevented, and he never endures any pain nor discomfort ever since.. I thought it could be worth trying for OP....
As a partner, perhaps is because I love my husband and I always want to be supportive of him, while also thinking that all parts of our bodies are beautiful and perfect as they are, then I find his tight skin is part of who he is, just like his long beard or his hair (which I love), and would never want him to change any part of his (at least, not for my sake), I like feeling him "whole" in that way, fully uncut as he was born; that said, I do wonder if the phimosis couldn't be a visible sign of celibacy for men? I always thought it could be correlated with my husband's practice of strict abstinence during his younger days; he told me once how he avoided since his teens falling into the habit of masturbation (he rarely did it, and now he seems even less likely to, since as a married man, he enjoys plenty) and channeled those urges instead into his studies and sports (he excelled on kabbadi and wrestling, growing strong and masculine), and if all that is indeed related, I can't see anything bad on having a tight skin.. maybe it does mean it has grown his manhood the most pure, reserved for a woman only.. at least is how I see his member, making me appreciate it more; and perhaps what is truly needed is that guys learn those techniques which allow the enjoyment for couples on the most natural way, far from the damaging influence of pornography which treats human sexuality as a consumption good, setting unrealistic expectations...
At last, the phimosis is not a problem for cleansing either, my husband takes good care of his hygiene, and is easy to flush slightly warm water through the skin opening (a rubber bulb is quite practical for that, the same type used to wash ear wax), thus it can be rinsed easily without any need to force the skin down; from a girl friend who is a dermatologist I learnt how soaps are made with such strong chemicals which damage the delicate tissue on genitals, which is not regular skin but mucous tissue, like the eyelids (actually soaps cause bad smell and irritations there), both on men and females, and thus is best to stick to plain water only.. if OP suffered from inflamation, maybe is due to applying soaps and forcing the skin too much? .. aloe vera has been known for naturally helping to restore the balance on skin areas, that could help as well..
I wish OP and all you guys all the best, and I just hope my little insight can be helpful for someone else.