Jump to content

shergik

Members
  • Posts

    7
  • Joined

  • Last visited

shergik's Achievements

Explorer

Explorer (4/8)

  • First Post Rare
  • Superstar Rare
  • Conversation Starter Rare
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

0

Reputation

  1. I'm not sure what to say - when i heard the news yesterday all i could do was cry - still grieving for my own brother and then this. My loos seems so small when i hear about stories like this and they were all from my home town. When i told my mother about this she also cried as having lost a son herself can put herself in the shoes of their mothers. I hope that they get to meet my brother and that they all support each other where every they may be. May god give them peace and help the families through his difficult phase.
  2. hello all You may remember in april i spoke to you all about my brother who passed away in February. I have tried so hard to take on board the advice that was given, but seriously i can't do this, i feel as though i'm all alone!! I can't talk to my husband as he feels "i should let go and try and get over it" and he can't cope with me crying - can't talk to my parents because i don't want to keep bringing it up for them - the only person i could have spoken to is not even here. My older brother was everything to me, we were there for each other in good times and bad, and i just can't believe that for the worst time of my life he's not here to support me - not a day goes by when i don't wish that it was me rather than him. Everyday when i come to work, my heart sinks when i have to walk past the section of the hospital where he was - my heart beats so fast, sometimes i feel as though me feet just can't move and i can't walk. Everytime i drive and am stuck behind a lorry, i fail to understand how his car could've possibly gone under the lorry, especially with tthe crash bars on every lorry now - and again the question Why is alway on my mind. I've not had a single day since February 14th where i've not cried for him - I WANT HIM BACK!!!!!!
  3. Yes i'm still here. Am trying very hard to accept what has happened and to remember the good times, but it is so hard. i feel as though i've lost my right arm, and believe me if i could have him back i would easily give up my right arm. i'm at a stage now where words just can't express how i feel, and i don't know what else to say. i feel like i'm slowly dying inside, losing my personality, losing touch with the real world. I was really upset last week, something happened between my mom and myself and i decided to confront her about why they were ignoring me and that i need them at this time - she turned round and said that i had my husband and that i didn't need them - this really really hurt. Ok i have my husband, but when i come to work he's asleep, when i get home from work he leaves for work, so exactly when am i supposed to talk to him, who can i talk to about those childhood memories that my brother and i shared all the time. anyway i spoke to my puaji about this and told her that even though she told me to continue contact with my parents as normal that i couldn't do it anymore, not when mom keeps saying hurtful things like this, i'm going through enough pain as it is without having to hear this like this. so this is exactly what i did, i didn't contact them at all, and when she phone me a couple of days ago i gave her one word answers to her questions just like she did with me, but i must say it's worked, she spoke to me properly yesterday and dad even came round to my house to see the kids. maybe me distancing myself will make them realise that they still have other children. my younger brother said it's made a differnece with the way they've spoken to him over the past few days.
  4. Hi it's me again - having a very bad day!!!!!!! At the weekend some people we know were involved in a road traffic accident, there was 3 of them, 2 are critically ill and one died aged 25 from the same injuries as my brother, in the same ward as my brother and in the same bed. It's all come flooding back. Something always happens to put me back. I met with one of the Doctors today who looked after my brother (not sure if i mentioned it before, but i work at the same hospital where my brother passed away and am friends with one of the Doctors who looked after him). I wanted to meet him because i couldn't understand how someone could be so injured from the inside and yet not have a scratch on the outside so he talked through the scans with me and showed me what should be normal and then showed me his scans. For some reason i thought this would help, but it didn't. I then had to ask him whether the decision to withdraw my brother's treatment was the correct decision, how long would he have gone on if we hadn't withdrew treatment. Although he told me that this decision was the correct one to save my brother's suffering and that he was never going to come round, i still feel guilty as it was my husband and i who suggested to my parents that enoughs enough, how much more are we going to make him suffer. I sometimes feel, even though the final decision was my parents, that they resent me for this. Since my brother has passed away my parents seem to have become distant from me, they don't talk to me properly and when i go round i have to leave fairly quickly as the atmosphere is too nerve racking. I want to confront them about it, but am scared as this might be thier way of dealing with our loss, but at the same time they need to realise that i am also their daughter and i also need support. I honestly don't know what to do - my exact words to Bill (my Dr friend) was that "i feel like i'm going mad and that i can't do this anymore".
  5. Thanks everybody, i can understand where everyone's coming from, but believe me i just can't do it - the phrase from the hymn "tera kitha meetha lage" - i'm sorry, but i just can't accept that. My faith is slowly slipping away - i have so much to say, but no words to express my feelings - he had so much to see yet in life, to get married, have kids, be present at my younger brother's wedding. We have our first family function next week and to be quite honest i don't think i'll be able to go, how can, all i'll be thinking about is my brother who would've been there, him doing his silly giddha dance with the ladies, putting the chunni over his head, making everybody laugh, looking after my kids while i go for a dance. I know i should go, but i'm so scared of spoiling the atmosphere if i start to cry. Previous to my brother passing away i was quite a strong minded person, i'd pick myself up and carry on (previous up's and down's made me stronger), but this, this has just made me into a nervous, weak person. I can't even stay at home on my own. If no one is with me i have to leave the house, cos everywhere i look he is there. my brother was with me the day i moved into this house and everything we did thereafter regarding decorating/gardening he was with us. I know i'm probably going on a bit, but i truely haven't got anybody to talk to, like i said my brother was my best friend, it would be him that i would be talking to now.
  6. My brother was a jolly person, always smiling, always playing around. His birthday was on 23rd May and mine falls on 7th May, most of the time we'd celebrate our birthdays together, just like we were planning to do this year. I am the only girl in the family so you can imagine just how much he spoilt his little sister. he loved spending time with my husband and espcially with my kids, he loved my kids as though they were his own. 5 days before the accident my daughter turned 3 and we all went out together and had such a laugh and were planning to do the same thing 2 weeks later as my son's birthday falls exactly 2 weeks after my daughters birthday, but because of the events my son didn't know he turned 7 until 2 weeks ago. My brother was so friendly, he'd make friends so easily, everytime i'd see him he'd tell me about a new friend. I'm really dreading our birthdays in may, not sure how i'm gonna cope. the one day that really upsets me the most when i think about it is Rakhri. I know from prevoius postings from others that Sikhs don't do this, but we always did, it meant so much to us and i just don't know what i'm gonna do. Christmas is also gonna be hard because even after i got married we were always together at Christmas. To be honest - i feel like i've lost everything, my brother, my best friend - Everything.
  7. Hi All This is my first posting on Sikh Sangat, although i've visited a few times. I'm going through a very difficult time and can't seem to come to terms with the loss of my older brother who was only 32. I'm 31 and as you can imagine we were very close, we did everything together. He was always there at the other end of the phone when i needed him, i spoke to him every day and now i feel lost. i do have a younger brother whose 21, but he's more like my son as my older brother and i raised him. My brother had a road traffic accident on 02.02.06 and suffered severe head injuries. He never regained consciouness and sadly we had to let him go on 14.02.06. When he had his accident the local community at our local temple did ardas 3 times a day every day and everyone kept saying waheguru will make him better, he'll listen to somebodies ardas, but why did waheguru make him better, why did he have to go. I work at the hospital he passed away in, took me a long time to come back to work and it is so hard to work here. My kids are always asking for their Mama. All i seem to do is cry, i can't seem to accept this at all and the questioni "Why" is always on my lips, Why did waheguru do this, why did it have to happen at all, why couldn't he just wake up once, why why why :-(
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use