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AcceptWill201

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Everything posted by AcceptWill201

  1. Unfortunately we find ourselves in a culture of elders are 'right' and you must stay with parents to respect them. I've found is alot of katha vachiks also like playing to the ego of the elders for popularity and usually throw masala to get brownie points. Having respect for elders and caring for them can be done in many ways. Yes some can have bliss under one roof but it's not wrong to be around for family but just living separately especially if it isnt working under one roof. Mental health is a big issue and sometimes staying under one roof just doesn't work and the clash can be so bad it can make life unbearable for years. I've seen so many examples of terrible environments and so much crap is passed down into kids. . Hats off if it works and everyone makes it work. That's the ideal scenario. It requires alot of work. Sadly times have changed from when multiple families could live under the same roof. Perhaps now we have options so give up easily with relationships whereas back in the day you couldn't just pack a bag and leave so easily. No one in our community talks about the highly toxic environments our ppl endure for years, messing up generation after generation. It's well known how toxic the SaaS/daughter in law can be(equally any other member male/female). Parents and elders are just humans born on the planet a bit earlier, they can be equally responsible for making a compete mess of the family unit and can have very strong egos making it difficult to live with. Sometimes if it's not working then makes sense if a couple move out. If done at the right time they can salvage things and maintain a respectful and supportive family just with a bit of space.
  2. ?? Sangatji what's everyones views on taking Maharaj to and from the Gurdwara to a paath at someones house? And what's the correct Marayada? I've always understood Maharaj needs to be accompanied by 5 Amritdhari Singhs at all times with and Ardas before leaving and then again when returning at the Gurdwara and same for arriving and leaving the destination. However, sadly, it seems some ppl have become relaxed about this and I've heard ppl mention they have seen instances of only 3 or 4 singhs, or even just only 2 taking Maharaj. If anyone can share the correct protocol/marayada that would be great aswell. Seems like awareness is needed around this issue.
  3. Das had the good fortune to do some seva in a sanpat paath a few years back. I was just on the japji raul and we had to do aukhi ghari shabad. I have to say it was amazing in the sense my mind was fully into it as you have to be fully engaged. My mind was fully focused for those 2 hours and I was surprised how much I enjoyed it (obv still a long way to go). Its a great way to get your dhyaan in check, both reciting the japji pauri, then the shabad and remembering your place is etc leaves no room for the mind to wander. Whereas normal my mind would wonder reciting japji as I knw the paath. It was a Nanaksar Gurdwara and the satkar they gave to Guru Sahib was really something else. But I know some ppl frown on this possibly due to it being different from an Akhnad Paath. And obv some have exploited things with extra cost for ppl to have a paath done, but thats the same for the traditional Akhand paaths too. I think the more bani read the better. It isnt to replace a normal Akhand Paath, everything has its place. The method of using shabads in this way is actually a puratan technique which was used in taksaals or amongst Gursikhs for abhiyaas. Ie for mool mantar one can recite: Vaheguru x 4 (or x 8 ) Ik Onkar Vaheguru x 4 SatNam Vaheguru x 4 And so on for the whole mool mantar paath. It doesn't mean the bani is being changed but simply ways to get ikagar man , focussed mind.
  4. ?? Ah yes. Thanks for sharing, gna add it in too!
  5. Vaheguru ?? Yes I noted this unwritten Marayada exists amongst the older generation of Gursikhs and I noted this with a number of Saints that das has had the good fortune of meeting. During a number of stays in india when visiting the dals a few years back I saw this in effect. Similarly in taksaals and deras with vidiyalas the students would sit together and follow the above during langar. Many of the younger ppl there dont seem to know the reason but it's a tradition that is carried on for generations. Only thing I noticed is now younger ppl just have the phone out and distracted with it while eating. The Singhs also recited these two pangatis but I think theres a few more but can't recall: ਜਿਸਦਾ ਦਿਤਾ ਖਾਵਣਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਕਹੀਐ ਸਾਬਾਸਿ ॥ Jis Dhaa Dhithaa Khaavanaa This Keheeai Saabaas || Let us all celebrate Him, from whom we receive our nourishment. ਨਾਨਕ ਹੁਕਮੁ ਨ ਚਲਈ ਨਾਲਿ ਖਸਮ ਚਲੈ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ॥੨੨॥ Naanak Hukam N Chalee Naal Khasam Chalai Aradhaas ||22|| O Nanak, no one can issue commands to the Lord Master; let us offer prayers instead. ||22|| ਦਦਾ ਦਾਤਾ ਏਕੁ ਹੈ ਸਭ ਕਉ ਦੇਵਨਹਾਰ ॥ Dhadhaa Dhaathaa Eaek Hai Sabh Ko Dhaevanehaar || DADDA: The One Lord is the Great Giver; He is the Giver to all. ਦੇਂਦੇ ਤੋਟਿ ਨ ਆਵਈ ਅਗਨਤ ਭਰੇ ਭੰਡਾਰ ॥ Dhaenadhae Thott N Aavee Aganath Bharae Bhanddaar || There is no limit to His Giving. His countless warehouses are filled to overflowing.
  6. Sounds like your mind wishes for all the worldly things but you are expecting 'sikhi' to give it to you. Bro it's a change of mindset that's needed. How do you feel cutting your hair will get you all these things. It is simply our karam. Through reading of gurbani and doing seva and ardas we can change our karam. Sikhi is a dharm where heads were given for the truth. It isnt for pursuit of any perfect lifestyles and worldly comfort. So we must reflect on what we pursue. We have to realise our time here is limited. The journey through this body is about connecting with the divine within? Yes, you need work, and marriage and family. But acceptance that Vaheguru is fully in control and will bestow upon you what is best for you will give you true contentment. Otherwise our actions take us through the 8.4m life forms. It's not easy, we are worldly beings trying to get on the path, our Guru tells us through seva and simran we are blessed with understanding and all our affairs are resolved. The farmer protest is a great blessing, it has united so many for a great cause. It has awakened so many and for years to come we will see the people of punjab strive for positive change. Uncertainty does create an anxiety and yes there is a worry for things going wrong. But as Sikhs we have the immense power of Guru Sahib with us. Reflect and assess whether it is perhaps depression that you may be experiencing. Seek satsangat and make your time safal. Speak to your family and they will find someone. Dont demand anything (dowary) of the girls family and seek a rishta in line with Gurmat.
  7. AcceptWill201

    Kirpan Help

    Maybe you need to spend sometime thinking about what sikhi is for you. Sometimes this creates a stronger foundation and gives purpose to what your doing and why ie why do nitnem, why wear kakkars, what is gurbani teaching us, what is life? A bit of soul searching, why you need a Guru, what does following his path do for you. It will help to have some good sikh sangat to help you along the way. Also start doing seva regularly. I'd say you should go before the Panj piyare at the next Amrit sanchar, whilst you realise your mistake and changed your ways as you say. You would benefit from their advice and give closure to any regret your carrying of wrong doing etc.
  8. Interesting to hear your views Singho. I recall the panj Piyare specifically stress the requirement for a kirpan on a gatra to be worn at all times ('gatray wali kirpan') and could not be on a dori or worn as a necklace etc, and not to be kept in kesh. They did say wearing additional shashters to this was fine. I think this had stuck in my mind as in the lead up to Amrit, due to work and wearing a kirpan under a shirt I started off with a gatra worn as normal under shirt but it would stick out. Then id put the gatra around both shoulders so the kirpan would neatly tuck under the arm , then I was looking for other holsters etc so I could wear something bigger but keep it concealed, like wear at belt level and it had crossed my mind too whether gatra was required at all. So was interesting the Panj said that when I took Amrit. Otherwise I may have swayed a diff way personally. I agree perhaps back in the day shaster were traditionally in a kamar kassa, but actually it may not have been unusual for there to have been a gatra of some sort/form, as practically if you want to keep a large shaster on your person and travel, say on horse back or doing seva, then a gatra would have also been useful to hold a long kirpan across the body as it may be awkward in a kammar kassa in certain positions. So may have been a combination of ways to carry weapons. Even both ways, on a gatra and tucked in a kammar kassa. Ultimately the gatra ensures the kirpan stays on your person at all times. Below is a quote from the taksaal marayada. "3.10.4. Kirpan – Sword of Mercy The Kirpan is there to protect the poor and for self-defence. With patience and mercy, the Kirpan is to be used as a sword to destroy oppression. The Kirpan is to always be in a gatra and never to be removed from the body. The Kirpan protects us from hidden and seen enemies. The Kirpan is a weapon to protect the whole body, as a minimum it should be nine inches in length. Keeping the Kirpan in a Kangha, in the Kesh and putting it on a string around the neck like a Janeoo, are against the Rehat and forbidden. You are never to walk over your Kirpan or other weapons. When washing your Kesh, the Kangha is to be tied to your Kirpan and the Kirpan tied around your waist. When bathing, your Kirpan is to be tied around your head and not tucked into the Kashara as this dishonours your Kirpan. When women bathe they are to tie their dupata on their head and then their Kirpan. When going to sleep your Kirpan is not to be removed from your body. The Kirpan is only to be used for two things. Firstly, to give Guru Jee’s blessing to freshly prepared Karah Prasad or for langar. Secondly, in order to destroy tyrants and oppressors. It must never be used for anything else. If the Kangha, Kara or Kirpan are separated from your body, you are forbidden to eat or drink until they are replaced. Upon the replacement of your missing Kakkar, Japjee Sahib is to be recited and an Ardas must be performed for the seperation and to beg for forgiveness. The Ardas may be performed either in a Gurdwara or the place where you are replacing your Kakkar. Having done this, you may eat and drink."
  9. Personally I beleive all the bhagats like bhagat kabir and sheikh fareed and many others who arent mentioned in gurbani all go to Sach Khand. It's not a sikh only venue. It's easy for ppl to manipulate a tuk of gurbani to sway it and justify their argument because gurbani is so deep and each tuk can have so many meanings. Whilst I dont have a shabad to hand I do think we need an open mind on this. I heard someone mention an anecdote in a katha that 'Nanak Naam Jahaj Hai', gursikhs (if truly on the path I suppose) travel on the path of Nanak which is like a plane, other paths may be like travelling that distance on foot, on a bike, in a car with many more obstacles and much longer. Not sure if this is the right way to see it. Also if Bhai Khaniya could see God in all , even the enemy then we perhaps cant condemn others from reaching sach Khand for being on a different path. Those whose actions are bad are unlikely to go to Sach Khand whether sikh or not.
  10. Depending where you are go to your local Gurdwara. Or make a plan to visit a few. Some are open and you will find somewhere to stay in an emergency. Some are strict and closed during covid but others are open so you might have to try a few. Dw Guruji will show you the way. Dont worry about being homeless, I've been there and whilst it's tough and really when you hit rock bottom it's quite an experience and shape us . It's a sad reality tho that sometimes we hav to go through it. Its humbling and sometimes we have to bite ego and take help from family or people we havent been in touch with.
  11. So are you married to her now? Just unclear why your saying lonely and heartbroken is that due to the sangat situation? For the kurheit before you married, I would suggest you both go to the Amrit Sanchar and explain to the Panj Piyare. And follow any instruction given. With regards to sangat, do some volunteering or an activity you enjoy. Do seva wherever you can and you will find new sangat over time. The worlds a big place, if you didn't get on with some ppl it's no big deal move on. No ones 'scolding' or judging you here. It sounds like you made mistakes and you realise it, perhaps its weighing down on you. Only you can control your actions, we cant really ever blame anyone else for our deeds. Try talking to someone about any issues. Your wife for starters? Maybe family, cousins, friends. Theres alot of free mental health lines you can reach out to. It may be difficult but if your struggling reach out to them and get help.
  12. I suppose the opinion is based solely on what you see with these physical eyes. Quantum physics suggest we see very little of what's around us with our eyes. What if theres more 'up there's and 'down there' that can be perceived by our eyes and further more that can be comprehended by our mind. Also I suppose our mind is shrouded by maya so can we really perceive what is the true reality? It's so complex both are true. But I do beleive Guruji is trying to disgard the idea of heaven as somewhere to meet God later, they taught us to achieve the union in this life. This is perhaps why Bhagat Kabir ji stressed the hypocrisy of faiths which focused on the heaven and hell in the wrong way. So were trying to dispel ideas around God being out of reach etc. So the state of mind can be it. Our experience here can be it. As Gurbani says everything is within us. Equally the realms and 5 Khands exist in dimensions different to ours. Alot of missionaries like to go with the fixed opinion that theres no heaven and hell 'it's all in the mind's . But I think reality is theres no one answer. We can rely on True Brahmgyanis and there experiences and our Khoj of Gurbani While Guruji says ਤਹਾਬੈਕੁੰਠੁਜਹਕੀਰਤਨੁਤੇਰਾਤੂੰਆਪੇਸਰਧਾਲਾਇਹਿ॥੨॥“That place is heaven, where the Lord’s Praises are sung. You Yourself instill faith into us. ||2||”(Ang 749) they also say ਜਿਤਨੇ ਨਰਕ ਸੇ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਭੋਗੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਲੇਪੁ ਨ ਮਾਸਾ ਹੇ ||੧੨||As many hells there are, Manmukhs suffer through them all but Gurmukh don’t experience hell even one bit.
  13. Go see a therapist and let your wife use the kitchen in the house. And your mum, if she won't listen then not alot you can do about that....but if she cant hear then buy a hearing aid?
  14. Agreed. It's not black and white, theres a journey every soul is on. Some slip back others progresses and a few trips and falls along the way. Some progress internally in the sense they start reading paath and this brings them closer to eventually accepting the kakkars etc. Theres so many variations, it's just not right to criticise monay. Saints like Sant Jarnail Singh have the kamayie to address sangat in many ways. It doesn't mean if they were harsh/straight to the point in a speech then that gives full rule for Gursikhs to be harsh to others. We cant copy the saints. They are entirely different and sometimes out of love it can be harsh. But normal ppl cant do what Santji could do. Also time, place, emotion all need to be assessed. Generally I think love , respect, and lead by example works. Non of this katar puna , holier than tho crap. Having observed close family and my own experience from mona to amrtidhari journey. The family didn't go Gurdwara at all for years. Then maybe just the odd wedding , but usually straight to the party hall, and were prob very far removed from Dharam or believing in God. The family may have mocked ppl out of ignorance. But there was no hate, there was stil respect of Sikhi. I recall we started going once every couple months, it was like a quick one ten min before the Akhand Paath bhog. Pick up a ramal from the box do a quick maths tek, get prashad and off we went. No learning, no engaging. However i remember alot of monay did alot of seva and were really involved and engaged with Singhs in full stoop. There was alot of pyaar and I think this is was what caught my attention back in those days. Then we became sunday sikhs, the highlight was prob the fact when an uncle bought a ramal, and it was his ramal for sundays. I think we had big egos and were so manmati that who knows if someone had said something critical it would of hurt the ego and we may of went on a different path. But it was Gurus grace. Slowly some of the family started doing a bit of seva. It became a bit of a thing. Then reading some paath. I remember some Singhs always greeting with such Chardikala....there were some who didn't seem to welcoming. But I think we were oblivious to alot of how ppl were. All I know that the love and some conversations I had paved my way to sikhi. Once an amrtidhari uncle told me sakhis of Bhai Mani Singh and BhaiTaru Singh and how important sikhi was. The sakhis really hit home and for years the words echoed in my mind this created change. There were events at uni and all this shaped the way. It was a period of 15 years to get to now. I still have a large circle of family who are monay, some do alot of paath. Some alot of seva. All are at different stages. Some are really clued up and just havent taken the step in terms of saroop or other thigns. After all it's a game of the mind, that's why we came to this earth to work it out and find our way home. As an amrtidhari now I find it difficult that ppl can be so judgemental on monay. If ppl just clicked and followed then it wouldn't be kaljug. Theres alot of ppl insaroop who dont carry the practice. So end of day embracing and welcoming should be the base point and like the post above we should encourage sangat.
  15. Well said. We either have a comrade bias on here or some very naive sangat. I'm shocked how easily our own can get brainwashed by social media. I think the video below sums up things up well Giani Hapreet Singh (Akal Takhat Jathedar) also gave his verdict on the situation recently which explained things that are going on. I'll try and find again. End of the day we need Ekta now. Everyone to reunite. The Kisaan leaders handled this poorly.
  16. Well said bro. Reality of the situation is the sangat will always have differing opinions. From time to time we get trolls, confused ppl or simply ppl with too much time on their hands, and we have to deal with these in varying ways. Opening numerous threads with pointless questions can be annoying. Maybe some of these ppl need to be put on like a 2 week ban so they can find something more productive to do. I know sometimes it's annoying and no one wants to be taken for a fool. But theres alot who will have genuine questions or are reading posts so think what impression it gives to others. People have to stop being so serious and just chill a bit too. All the different sampradai have numerous differences but instead of full focus on divisions, collectively as sangat we should focus on what unites us. Yes we should be open enough to talk about the differences too but not get distracted from what our actual purpose in life is. Alot of young ppl on here (but goes for the elders too) seem to get defensive or take things personal (me included). Equally some ppl push a particular ideology and get too passionate when another view is given. Theres so many ppl on here who also are able to stay above all the chaos.
  17. A couple of interesting quotes as other have mentioned. The Shabad is the Naad which is sewn into all creation. ਸਭਿ ਨਾਦ ਬੇਦ ਗੁਰਬਾਣੀ ॥ Sabh Naadh Baedh Gurabaanee || Gurbani is the sound current of the Naad, the Vedas, everything. ਭੁਗਤਿ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਦਇਆ ਭੰਡਾਰਣਿ ਘਟਿ ਘਟਿ ਵਾਜਹਿ ਨਾਦ॥bhugat giaan da-i-aa bhaňdaaraṇ ghaṭ ghaṭ vaajahi naad.(For the divine-centred people) wisdom is the food, compassion is the distributor of this food, and recognition of the unstruck melody within every heart is the sound (naad). ਰਾਮਕਲੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥ Raamakalee Mehalaa 5 || Raamkalee, Fifth Mehl: ਪੰਚ ਸਬਦ ਤਹ ਪੂਰਨ ਨਾਦ ॥ Panch Sabadh Theh Pooran Naadh || The Panch Shabad, the five primal sounds, echo the perfect sound current of the Naad. ਅਨਹਦ ਬਾਜੇ ਅਚਰਜ ਬਿਸਮਾਦ ॥ Anehadh Baajae Acharaj Bisamaadh || The wondrous, amazing unstruck melody vibrates. ਕੇਲ ਕਰਹਿ ਸੰਤ ਹਰਿ ਲੋਗ ॥ Kael Karehi Santh Har Log || The Saintly people play there with the Lord. ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਪੂਰਨ ਨਿਰਜੋਗ ॥੧॥ Paarabreham Pooran Nirajog ||1|| They remain totally detached, absorbed in the Supreme Lord God. ||1|| ਸੂਖ ਸਹਜ ਆਨੰਦ ਭਵਨ ॥ Sookh Sehaj Aanandh Bhavan || It is the realm of celestial peace and bliss. ਸਾਧਸੰਗਿ ਬੈਸਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਵਹਿ ਤਹ ਰੋਗ ਸੋਗ ਨਹੀ ਜਨਮ ਮਰਨ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ Saadhhasang Bais Gun Gaavehi Theh Rog Sog Nehee Janam Maran ||1|| Rehaao || The Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, sits and sings the Glorious Praises of the Lord. There is no disease or sorrow there, no birth or death. ||1||Pause|| ਊਹਾ ਸਿਮਰਹਿ ਕੇਵਲ ਨਾਮੁ ॥ Oohaa Simarehi Kaeval Naam || There, they meditate only on the Naam, the Name of the Lord. ਬਿਰਲੇ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਓਹੁ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੁ ॥ Biralae Paavehi Ouhu Bisraam || How rare are those who find this place of rest. ਭੋਜਨੁ ਭਾਉ ਕੀਰਤਨ ਆਧਾਰੁ ॥ Bhojan Bhaao Keerathan Aadhhaar || The love of God is their food, and the Kirtan of the Lord's Praise is their support. ਨਿਹਚਲ ਆਸਨੁ ਬੇਸੁਮਾਰੁ ॥੨॥ Nihachal Aasan Baesumaar ||2|| They obtain a permanent seat in the infinite. ||2|| ਡਿਗੈ ਨ ਡੋਲੈ ਕਤਹੂ ਨ ਧਾਵੈ ॥ Ddig N Ddolai Kathehoo N Dhhaavai || No one falls there, or wavers, or goes anywhere. ਗੁਰਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ਕੋ ਇਹੁ ਮਹਲੁ ਪਾਵੈ ॥ Gur Prasaadh Ko Eihu Mehal Paavai || By Guru's Grace, some find this mansion. ਭ੍ਰਮ ਭੈ ਮੋਹ ਨ ਮਾਇਆ ਜਾਲ ॥ Bhram Bhai Moh N Maaeiaa Jaal || They are not touched by doubt, fear, attachment or the traps of Maya. ਸੁੰਨ ਸਮਾਧਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਕਿਰਪਾਲ ॥੩॥ Sunn Samaadhh Prabhoo Kirapaal ||3|| They enter the deepest state of Samaadhi, through the kind mercy of God. ||3|| ਤਾ ਕਾ ਅੰਤੁ ਨ ਪਾਰਾਵਾਰੁ ॥ Thaa Kaa Anth N Paaraavaar || He has no end or limitation. ਆਪੇ ਗੁਪਤੁ ਆਪੇ ਪਾਸਾਰੁ ॥ Aapae Gupath Aapae Paasaar || He Himself is unmanifest, and He Himself is manifest. ਜਾ ਕੈ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੁਆਦੁ ॥ Jaa Kai Anthar Har Har Suaadh || One who enjoys the taste of the Lord, Har, Har, deep within himself, ਕਹਨੁ ਨ ਜਾਈ ਨਾਨਕ ਬਿਸਮਾਦੁ ॥੪॥੯॥੨੦॥ Kehan N Jaaee Naanak Bisamaadh ||4||9||20|| O Nanak, his wondrous state cannot be described. ||4||9||20||
  18. Agreed, often our asking or questions or the search itself can be our own ego distracting us. All the answers are within us, through Guruji we can realise them. ਜੋ ਬ੍ਰਹਮੰਡੇ ਸੋਈ ਪਿੰਡੇ ਜੋ ਖੋਜੈ ਸੋ ਪਾਵੈ ॥ Jo Brehamanddae Soee Pinddae Jo Khojai So Paavai || The One who pervades the Universe also dwells in the body; whoever seeks Him, finds Him there. ਪੀਪਾ ਪ੍ਰਣਵੈ ਪਰਮ ਤਤੁ ਹੈ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਹੋਇ ਲਖਾਵੈ ॥੨॥੩॥ Peepaa Pranavai Param Thath Hai Sathigur Hoe Lakhaavai ||2||3|| Peepaa prays, the Lord is the supreme essence; He reveals Himself through the True Guru. ||2||3||
  19. Gurfateh Jee Does anyone have any experience of ordering from any online book stores based in India. Just wanted to know if they are reliable and if the books will actually be shipped out or is it risky? Any recommendations?
  20. It's not compulsory for women to wear a dastar. Majority of bibiyan from all sampradai be it taksaal, nihang, nanaksar etc generally just wear a chunni or keski. Whilst bibiyan wearing dastar have been around all the time and it's amazing dont let it be a make or break reason for not taking Amrit. Keeping the kesh tied and covered is important and the chunni police will enforce that by giving you evils at the Gurdwara. Some panj Piyare encourage for wearing a dastar , not come across any making it compulsory. One can look the part but inside they aren't living up to it. Bani and Bana should go hand in hand.
  21. Just what I was thinking too ਸਰਬ ਧਰਮ ਮਹਿ ਸ੍ਰੇਸਟ ਧਰਮੁ ॥ Sarab Dhharam Mehi Sraesatt Dhharam Of all religions, the best religion ਹਰਿ ਕੋ ਨਾਮੁ ਜਪਿ ਨਿਰਮਲ ਕਰਮੁ ॥ Har Ko Naam Jap Niramal Karam || Is to chant the Name of the Lord and maintain pure conduct.
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