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Showing results for tags 'amritdhaari'.
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breaking amrit, but not leaving sikhi entirely
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMjust a little info about me I am a girl and currently i am 17 years old. I took amrit at the age of 13/14. I was going to start 8th grade. 2 years back we went to india and i saw my cousin older than me by 1 year had amrit and his 7 year old sister also had amrit. I wanted to take amrit after seeing them because all the adults were proud of them and I wanted adults to be proud of me as well. Fast forward back into 8th grade my gurudawara was holding amrit sanchaar. I begged my parents to let me take amrit and i desperately wanted to take amrit. Before taking amrit my dad told me I had to start wearing a chuni at home and everywhere so I did. I did not practice doing Nitnem. I only knew of the 5 baanis, but not the other paath i had to do. When i took amrit i felt great and i listened to my nitnem. I am now 17 and I feel more and more detatched to my amrit. I told my older cousins how i am feeling and they said “you were very young and we feel like you rushed it a little” I agree with them. I haven’t done my nitnem at all recently. its been months since i did Paath and i feel like im disrespecting Amrit so much by not doing it. I just cant find the motivation to do it and I feel like I should leave amrit and come back to it when i feel more prepared. I wanna be able to practice my nitnem before i take Amrit again so I feel more prepared. I still love sikhi dont get me wrong, but I feel like it’s so much pressure on me right now and I feel as if i cant make any mistakes without feeling an immense amount of guilt. I would like to take amrit in the future with my husband so that i have a partner to help me and motivate me when I’m not feeling the best. I still want to go to protests and support my religion because i love sikhi i just feel like i need to step away from amrit and come back to it. I am 100% sure i want to come back to Amrit but i just feel like I didn’t take amrit because i loved doing paath and everything, I just did it for more of the attention and wanted to follow my cousins. I still love sikhi, but i want some time to get rid of my young desires. My dad took amrit when he was young and broke it and as an adult he cut his hair and drank alcohol and took amrit again with my mom. I want to tell my parents how I feel but idk how without disappointing them. I feel like my dad will get mad at me but he can’t because he broke it when he was little. Im in a tough spot and i just dont know how to tell my parents. I really need advice.
HUSBAND AMRITDHAARI DIVORCE ABUSE
HBSingh posted a topic in GUPT FORUMMy husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?