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  1. Guest

    Amritdhari & Massage

    So I'm going to the gym and i've found my body is stiff and sore especially the shoulders. As a Amritdhari, are we allowed to have a massage? If we are, I'm confused on how they will react with the kirpan. Not sure what to do on this.
  2. Guest

    Amritdhari living

    hi. i am new to sikhi and i going over the rehat maryada, i still have few questions about amritdhari living, hoping i could ask. 1) i've read it is mandatory to do cold bath in the mornings? is that true or do warm showers work? 2) during bathing, ive also read that you need to keep your head covered with a cloth until you wash your hair and then tie it again as soon as the soap is out. i'm confused on this, is it mandatory? what does it mean? how does the hair dry? 3) do you have to wash with soap everyday, or soap in main parts, and water on rest work? 4) as someone who has heavy and curly hair, it takes a long time to manage and dry. do i have to wash my hair everyday before doing paat because i need to go to work after as well? 5) i tried to keep my head covered at night with a patka, but it slips off during the night. is there any way to keep it on or is it ok? the focus question is 5, and id really like that to be answer if none other can be
  3. Guest

    eating meat and punishment

    i ate meat, and i stopped and i don't have amrit. but if i want to take it, does that result in a punishment for braking the 4 bujar kerehta?
  4. Guest

    Need Help with my life.

    WaheGuruji ka khalsa WaheGuruji ki Fateh WaheGuruji recently Blessed me with Amrit and by his grace, i have been reciting and learning Gurbani and kirtan since the age of 5 (22 now) but my life is filled with problems, i have not recieved any happiness until now. I got anxiety and depression due to overthinking. I am afraid that my faith will start to shiver this way what do i do ? I do path by his grace whenever I have time (besides my daily nitnem) Maharaj ji takes kirtan seva from me as well. But i am still suffering from so many Financial problems. I don't know if i would be able to survive with this mind. Chint bhavan man paryo humara
  5. Guest

    Struggling with Rehit

    Hi all, Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh little background to provide context, I was mona and clean shaven my whole life but began keeping kesh around 7/8 years ago at the age of 24 I believe, I wasn’t wearing a dastar and was rolling around with a high bun like it was for fashion, a few years in I began trimming my beard and continued like this for a few years but recently I have stopped doing this and my beard is quite long and has the natural look now. I don’t do paath or nitnem all I do is listen to kirtan and paath at the moment. Since I became keshdari again I decided to practice rehit by wearing panj kakkars so have been doing this for the past week, ever since coming into sikhi I’ve wanted to take Amrit but just didn’t have the strength or discipline for it but felt like now was the closest I have been to being able to do it but now having practiced rehit for a few days I feel like it’s really hard and I might not be built for it, I’m afraid of taking Amrit and not being able to keep up my rehit, can anyone give me some advice or hopefully someone has been in the same position and can provide their view point on this Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
  6. I was just wondering this... the rehat maryada states that one of the chaar bujjar kurhets is adultry - you have to be married to commit this. Let’s say a singh wasn’t married, took Amrit at a young age and has a physical relation with someone, does he still have to go pesh?...
  7. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh... Sadh sangat ji, my fiance and I are both amritdhari and want a very very simple Anand karaj. There will be a very very small number of people attending according to our list as we want it to be very basic and according to Sikh marayada, as much as possible. We would day around 10 people tops (mainly just immediate family and crossing out the rishtedaar that we don't really interact with). We have searched online and most of what we are reading is about "Panjabi" weddings and nothing constructive in regards to a simple Gursikh Anand karaj. Has anyone had a very basic Sikh wedding at the Gurdwara Sahib only or been involved in this type of wedding that can list exactly what is needed? We will not being doing things like choora, gold Kara, maiyaan and all that stuff. We just want to know exactly what needs to take place for the Anand karaj to be in accordance to Sikhi without all the fuss and usual cultural stuff that takes place. Thank you in advance. Bhul chuk maafi. Vaheguru...
  8. Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh I have been practicing sikhi for a while now, I do nitnim everyday and I do naam simran as well everyday. I am still living at home with my parents who do not approve of me taking amrit and I have chosen to respect them on this until I move out and find my own place. In the meantime however, I have been living the life of an amritdhari essentially and this includes wearing a kirpan and I feel as though if they don't wish me to actually take amrit I can at least do as much as I can to be prepared when I do finally take it. I recently saw some posts on here that suggest that you can't wear a kirpan without being an amritdhari which isn't something I had heard of before I started reading threads on here. Can anybody confirm if this is correct and the reasoning behind this. I personally can't see a reason in my situation why I wouldn't be allowed to wear a kirpan but I also don't want to be accidentally disrespectful. Many thanks
  9. I am 29 and my family is finding an amritdhari girl for me.As all my family members and relatives are non Amritdharis so we hardly know anyone in gursikhi line. we tried giving ads in newspapers almost 10-15 times. We got almost 60+ responses each time I put matrimonial ad, out of which 98 percent phone calls are those who are not amritdharis. Since I always expected an amritdhari and nitnemi girl as my life partner so I only consider those who are blessed with amrit and the remaining 2-3 percent matches are those who don’t have good education or lacking in height. As a result, after 5 months of continue search- I didn’t find any good rishta. Now my parents are suggesting me to marry a girl who is willing to take amrit, or marry a girl who is vegetarian and slowly she will take amrit and become gursikh (it doesn’t seems fair to me- I don’t want to force anyone to take amrit and I don’t want Amrit as an agreement for my marriage, I don’t want to marry a nonAmritdhari and than influence her to come to gursikhi, its not right, right?). On the contrary, some amritdhari matches weren’t interested in me because they want my all family to be Amritdhari ( None of my family members are gursikh except mom) Apart from newspaper, I tried shaadi.com, akj.org, bharatmatrimonial.com, jeevansathi.com, and some other matrimonial websites as well. I went to Canada about 7 yrs ago and settled there, Since I spent my childhood and adulthood in Punjab, therefore my mentality,nature, reasoning, thinking and behaviour is developed in a complete different way than CanadianBorns girls. So I don’t want to marry Canadian/US/UK borns girls either. I am a little disappointed with not finding any suitable match for me and equally worried for our next generations. Its 2018-it will be hard to find gursikh rishte in next 15-20 years.
  10. I am a 20 yr old girl in US with a amritdhaari family who is very religious and respected. I fell in love with a guy who is mona, eat meat and drinks. I was never as religious as my parents but do value being a vegetarian and sikhi values. We were together for a year and half and Bc I thought I was going to spend my whole life with him we were intimate. I got pregnant and we went to many doctors appointments Bc we were going to have twins. I misscarried one baby and the other we had an abortion Bc my parents hated him and I never wanted to be a disgrace for my family. My parents explained to me so much to leave him but I can’t. I didn’t tell them anything about the pregnancy Bc I’m unsure of their reaction and how they will lose the little respect they have for me. I’m lying to them again that I’m not talking to him when I am. I don’t want to chose between my family and my boyfriend, who I was going to have babies with. I feel so guilty and depressed everyday I hate myself and think I should’ve kept the baby no matter what. I have no guidance or advice Bc I’m ashamed of my actions and can’t tell anyone.
  11. I would like to know different views on women and covering their head after taking amrit. I’ve read in gurbani to cover your head when preparing food and eating. A 5 k is kesh. I think akj see kesh as dastar regardless of male or female while eg nanaksar see it as keeping your hair uncut. I guess I am asking, is a dastar compulsory for a amritdhari female or is a chunni ok, or is nothing okay day to day and is it only required at certain times? I have a lot of female family members who only wear a chunni to gurdwara and nothing otherwise, yet they have taken amrit. They don’t wear a kirpan either. When I say I would want to fully wear a kirpan and dastar if I am ever lucky enough to take amrit, they think I’m extreme and over the top. I also wouldn’t wear makeup and jewellery but they all do. So I wonder am I the one who is assuming this is required which is making me delay amrit for longer as I’m not ready to wear a dastar and completely make those changes (I need my ego to lessen) or am I the one misunderstanding and is it okay to do what they do and therefore I am delaying it when I could do it sooner.
  12. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Lets suppose that I am a "transgender Sikh" who was originally biologically male but now identify as a female. Lets assume that I receive "Khand Di Phaul", which is the official initiation into the Khalsa Panth. Would I then call myself a Singh or a Kaur? What does Gurbani or Rehat have to say on this?
  13. Guest

    Feeling so broken

    Wjkk wjkf I don't know how to start but I'll try to talk, I am heartbroken I know having lust is bad in Sikhi but I am human and will do mistakes I am hoping waheguru does forgive me. So there's this Sikh guy he was my friend for like 15 years...he use to be a mona Singh but few years ago he went into Sikhism..... he doesn't drink no more...wears a dhamalla ..and loves going gurdwara..... I had fallen in love with him but he does like other girl picture and keeps on liking her pictures she drinks and is not into sikhi it keeps breaking my heart. I told him my feelings and all my problems he said he is only a friend to me ... sometimes he use to talk to me like he has feelings for me to so I asked why... and said goodbye to him... now he has blocked me on all social websites and it is hurting me so much. I know in the guru granth sahib ji it says don't attach to anyone as they all are Temporary only waheguru is permanently in our lives... but my heart is broken in such a way that I don't know what to do Please please help me.... I really had the thought he was the one in my destiny but I was wrong. Please forgive me for any mistakes I am just a human I am not perfect sorry if I said anything but please help me i don't feel like doing anything at all in so heartbroken it hurts so badly. Wjkk wjkf
  14. Basically a close family friend has asked my grandad (mona) to take them to a mandir in Walsall for whatever reason as they don’t have a car. My dada ji has agreed to take them but it a bit unsure about the route and doesn’t have enough confidence to use the Tom Tom as it’s broken and faulty. I said I will go will with him and put the google maps satnav on my phone. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with going as long as I don’t do namaskar to the moortiyan and take their parshad, I was just going to go in and sit down at the back and once they’re done come back. However when I told my other relatives (all are non amritdhari) they were like why are you going there? You’re not allowed to go in there! That’s wrong. I don’t think as a amritdhari I am doing anything wrong to go to a mandir if I just go to sit down and not worship. The only reason I am going is so that my grandad knows the route, if I was going to pray and seek advice from a pandit or do pooja would be different. Am I committing a sin? Would like to know sangats view (I know there has been a recent “Hindu Sikh” thread, this has got nothing to do with that).
  15. I have been reading some the posts over the last week and all I have seen is the constant squabbling and negative judgemental attitude towards each other. Whether we like like it or not we are a community made up of people from all walks of lives. Our temperaments are different, some hot and some cold. Some of us want to do things for now and some for longer term goals. Some want to take a militant approach and some diplomatic. This is not unique to us this has been the case for all communities trying achieve goals in a struggle. Malcom X’s ideology was different from Martin Luther Kings but ultimately the goal was the same. Bhagat Singhs ideology was different from the All India Congress but the goal was ultimately the same. Nelson Mandela was hot blooded when he was young but later switched to more diplomatic solutions for South Africa. The same can be observed from figures throughout all of history and never has everyone collectively agreed upon one single method of achieving community goals. Just pick the organisations, groups and temperaments that you feel you can gel with and quit the bashing of each other. I’m sure by doing we would be more united, be more powerful and achieve so much more than ultimately searching for the one miracle pill to solve our issues.
  16. Guest

    Pregnant

    Need some advice please. I’ve fallen pregnant by my mona boyfriend but I’m amritdhari. I haven’t told my family but we want to keep the baby as I don’t believe in abortion. I don’t know how to approach the Panj Pyare about this and will they tell me to split up from my boyfriend and tell me to abort the child or give it up for adoption?
  17. Guest

    kissed and hugged a guy

    Admin Note: Not allowed on this forum.
  18. I recently met two singhs who were accused of doing beadbi of Amrit by indulging in eating meat and drinking alcohol. A friend of mine who is their roommate informed me that they take off their gatray and do all kinds of nonsense. which made me wonder if being an Amritdhari has only been reduced to an additional tag to being a Sikh. There are also many underlying mental health issues among the kesadhari and amritdhari community alike. I have met many amritdharis in my life and I have yet to meet a single person who I thought had an amazing personality and really practiced what he preached. It’s mostly really arrogant folks who are like “your hands are juthay” which is somehow always the case. They have become bhamans who they hate so much. My uncle is the same as well. His tablet was filled with adult content when I borrowed it one time and he LITERALLY HAS MAHARAJ AT HOME! It really makes me reconsider taking Amrit cause I’m still looking for someone that would inspire and someone that I can actually follow. These are really poor examples of amritdharis I have seen monays be more into sikhi than so many kesadharis. Shouldn’t it be the other way. Monay think that they are following sikhi by going to gurdwaray every Sunday and doing Seva and listening to bani. Kesadharis think they are following sikhi by keeping the kesh. Tying their beards up with so much glue is the lowest thing among this community. Then they end up developing rashes and trimming their beards. I think that there should be a clear line drawn among amritdharis and others. for instance, it should be made mandatory that amritdharis should be wearing kirpans on the outside or conform to only wearing dummallay. The non amritdharis can wear regular pagga. This needs to be addressed cause clearly the definition of who’s a Sikh and who’s not a Sikh isn’t clear. waheguru ji ka Khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!
  19. Can an amritdhari girl wed a non amritdhari guy in anand karaj? The guys kesdhari, just hasnt decided to take amrit yet, wants to progress with rehat before committing to amrit. Both the girl and guy and their families are happy with it. Any potential issues?
  20. Wjkk wjkf I am buying kachera for the first time and I check my waist all around is 56 inch but when it says the kachera is 36 inch is that just the front part Please help.me by sending a link that has a kachera my size I need to buy urgently
  21. Guest

    Matrimonail ad

    Hello I and my family trying to find a good educated and amritdhari girl for me sinche last 4 mnths, haven’t yet. Seems like there r very few gursikh girls, i tried many matrimonial sites as well, newspapers ads as well but not found any suitable yet am I allowed to post here as a ad ? ?
  22. Some might say they make it to sachkhand, but is Sachkhand a physical place ? I don't really think so . Sachkhand as per my knowledge of baani is somewhat of a state of being stateless and merging back into brahm . Those who don't have to come back . But I can't even imagine an amritdhari having to come back into a muslim family where they will be circumcised or a hindu one where their kes will be cut . So how does it happens ? Does guru sahib somehow arrange their next visit into a gursikh family so that they can complete their left over work ?
  23. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Why is there such a bad gender ratio of fewer female Amritdharis than that of male Amritdharis? Do the parents teach the daughter about the need for Amrit or what? (Also I seem to notice that some of them seem to be told off that if they want to take Amrit to wait till marriage; which only hurts this ratio more.) Is there a way to get both males and females interested, in the olden days people begged to take Amrit, now pracharks are begging for others to take Amrit. (Also if someone falls in Prem with Guru Sahib; what stalls them from taking Amrit.) Just wanted to know these questions with the answers. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!
  24. I know to go to God you have to be AmritDhari but honestly I can't see myself in the future being one, I just don't understand Sikhi. And how come there are other ways to reach God, i.e different religions? Please forgive me if I have said something offensive
  25. Hi All, I am Amritdhari Girl..... My parent n family members being a sikh opposed me to become baptized... just because its hard to find Amritdhari boy... but still as i luv my religion and my Gurus i became Amritdhari.... I want to know is this true? I have seen the attitude of Sikh boys also... after i became baptized, i came to know.. even normal Sikh boys don't prefer being amritdhari and Amritdhari girls... Want to know y?
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