Search the Community

Been researching up on haumai, I always thought it ment ego, but broken down it apparently means me,me or myself. So how does one go about getting rid of thinking about myself. I have tried but keep using i, myself etc

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fathe I am a basic Sikh girl who has a strong typical Indian family, began speaking to a guy on fb, he was a amritdhari Sikh from india it slowly went on whatsapp and falling in love. The problem was that my family firstly would disagree to me talking to boys online and secondly they would never agree on me getting married to a boy from India who is from a different caste. Okay so my family found out and took my phone away and told me to stop and i have agreed to stop. I have begun to realise that i know i do love him but not as much as i thought i think its more that i enjoyed the feeling of having that loving relationship, so now i have learnt to divert my attention to maharaj as i have also had very unexpected close family deaths recently, so i understand that everything here is materialistic and will not stay. Also now that my phone has gone the main barrier between me and sikhi has gone because i did not have time for anything else as most my time use to be on my phone I now do my - 5 baaniya at amritvela -wear a kashera -do other paat in the day if i can -read saakhiya of Guru Nanak Dev ji (which help me incredibly) but sometimes i end up thinking about him and from my fiends account (who he knew also) i message him as if i am my friend telling him that i'm really upset and miss him (which i do badly at times),,, please can anyone suggest anything to help me stop please? Because im planning to be a amritdhari soon so i want to live a honest life with no secrets or lies ! Also i have another query, basically when i do paat i always feel that my mind somehow no matter how much i try to stop it starts to wonder. This even happens at Amritvela and as i want to be amritdahri i really want to be proper because i do have family who is amritdhari but do not live strictly to the rehat such as sometimes lack out on getting gurbani done (i know im not perfect either but saad-sangat ji please i really want to be as good as possible. I do not want people to look at me and think that im in chardikala and feel guilty, i want to be as i appear - a true gursikh ) One last question i just wanted to know that sometimes i do paat and feel happy that i am doing paat and it does have a positive effect on me so i try to be calm all day and kind and giving towards everyone. This mostly means i do all the household chores because i know i have time in which i can do them and whereas the rest of my family is busy working or doing something or another. I do feel happy that i do this and sometimes i think and feel as if im really good and that i think not a lot of other people would do what i am. I am worried in case i get haumai and egoistic ? Like maharaj ji says haumai will defeat all the purpose of doing sewa! So please Guru pyareo any tips ? Lastly i am a young Sikh girl and soon want to start tying a dummalla any really good videos of medium sized dummale pleaaaassssssssssseeeee??? THANK YOU SO MUCH. I hope Guru ji blesses each and every person as we say in the ardas "Nanak naam chardi kala tere bane sarbat da bhala " Waheguru ji :biggrin2: