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  1. Hello, I am not sure if my previous post was successful but my name is Simran and I have fallen in love with a muslim man. I want to marry him but I'm unsure of the reaction I will receive when introducing a muslim man to my family. He is 24 and I am 23. I would really appreciate your views on an interfaith marriage, more specifically a sikh-muslim marriage, and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Simran.
  2. Hi I am in a similar situation myself, similar age and I've found it difficult to find the right guy, mainly because of morals. AIso, I went through a few periods in my life with family etc which made me lose my self confidence and I became basically the opposite of how I used to be. Get your confidence and self belief back, we are Sikhnis of the Guru, there's no time or need to be shy in this world, love and respect yourself, you're great as you are. Try and read the book, the Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Aaron, I've just started reading it. I bet you're kind hearted and a good soul, and people like that are rare in this world. Find a guy who is worthy of you. If you're looking for a guy with morals, try and find a man who is spiritual and who holds morals dear to his heart. I've learned that it doesn't matter how desirable a guy may seem to women, if he doesn't strive to be a good person and treat a woman with respect, the rest doesn't matter, don't settle for a bad soul. And don't give up, I know women in their late 30's and early 40's who are looking so you're not old in comparison. While you're looking, discover yourself, we come alone and we go alone so try and be innately independant and focus on your own life before you marry. Feel free to make an account and PM me on here if you need to talk.
  3. Guest

    Single and Sad

    I'm a very simple, shy girl. I am not a strict Sikh but I believe in and trust Waheguru. Im turning 30 this year and I want to find the right man to share my life with and start a family with. I never dated and I've always been socially shy. I dont have any friends or family who I can rely on to arrange a rishta for me. The loneliness never affected me before but I am feeling it now. I have tried online dating and met a few guys. But they all lose interest in me because going out partying and drinking isn't my cup of tea. I feel lost and I dont know where to meet my partner. I am afraid I will be alone forever.
  4. Guest

    Singh Looking for his Kaur

    Basically im getting to the point were I need to find someone for marriage. Not sure were the best place to find someone. anyone got any ideas??? My plan was as follows. Joining sikh/asian matrimonials or singles/dating sites. Has anyone got any experience with these sites and are they worth the subscription costs Sites I was thinking of were singlesikhs, shaadi.com, eharmony, ect. please let me know? Thanks. advice urgently needed and appreciated. Im also a Mona.
  5. Guest

    Should i get married ?!

    Everybody is either telling me to get married or are getting married. But i am not feeling that marriage vibes. Currently, i don't want to get married, ever ! It is not that, i am A saint or Udasi sant. I just can't. I'm a amritdhari sikh guy 24. When i think about marriage, all i can think about is negatives that it will bring. It will take away my freedom and God knows what else. But on others hand there is my parents, telling me to get married. I love them and care for them. But this is way too much for me. And they are upset with my current decision. So please advice me.
  6. Guest

    Singhni with facial hair

    HONESTLY, what are the chances of myself, a Singhni with a little facial hair (not willing to remove or bleach), finding a decent Singh who will be fine with my Kes. Wherever my Kes is.
  7. A few weeks ago someone exposed the gyani who was prepared to perform anti-sikh religious anad karaj marriage to non-sikhs was it this guy? if so can we hold a nationwide boycott against this guy and excommunicate him from us. http://sangatshop.org/sukhmani_sahib_bhai_manjit_singh_ji
  8. WJKK WJKF Hi all, I've been avoiding asking 'dating' or marriage advice on here because I have seen issues get sidetracked in the past. I would like some advice on a situation I am currently in. I am in my early 20's (female) and have deliberately made sure I have not got caught up in what seems to be the normality of dating and sleeping around whilst I study. I'm getting to an age where finding a suitable partner is on my mind, I know I'm young yet but this is with the intention of not having to rush and find someone desperately when I am older which I have seen with many family members that leave it late to settle down. I decided to try online dating, I see it as more of a virtual introduction similar to what might happen with family. I will never compromise my own personal values and this is what has perhaps put me in a predicament. I am not comfortable talking to more than one person, it feels to me very dishonest - you wouldn't be introduced to more than one potential partner in the sikhi way of finding someone so I don't feel comfortable doing it with dating either. I feel it can encourage an attitude of never being happy and always looking for better, but also that it is often linked to very superficial judgements. In my honest opinion providing the basic values of two people match they will be able to build a successful life together - you only have to look at some of the very successful arranged marriages around. It has always been important to me to find someone with similar values, one of which is sikhi and I had always imagined that this would mean a guy with a turban. I am currently getting to know someone with very similar values to myself and who is very spiritual but perhaps not 'religious' in the sense that he cuts his hair... as a results of not feeling comfortable talking to more than one person I decided to stop talking to someone who also seemed to have some similar values and interests but did have a turban. I do not want to compromise my own sikhi but know that I am a long way of from keeping my hair myself and am in no position to be able to judge or expect a higher level of religiousness in a potential partner... how important should this one factor be? In the same way it is wrong for women to say no to guys with turbans is it not equally superficial and unfair to say no to someone without one? Especially if two peoples values and spirituality seem to match? Is there anyway to really know what will happen in the future either, you could marry someone religious that changes their views in the future and vice versa... I am also very honest about the fact that I am 'dating' with my parents, at present their biggest fear is that I will 'settle' for the first person... how bad is this really? If I had been introduced to someone suitable by a family member and ended up marrying them surely it is the same as finding a suitable partner first time around with a little help from a dating app? Plus having been to uni means I have a pretty good idea of whats out there, and honestly it is very disappointing to see the condition of some of todays sikh youth, many have forgotten their own roots and values.... The joy of balancing modern life with traditional values is very confusing.... please help.... (don't judge the 'dating' bit - I know my limits and would never cross the line we see so many youths do these days)
  9. I was having a conversation with two Sikh guys of different caste backgrounds and they both told me they avoid jatti girls now because they are such a disgrace to Sikhi. They both said these days jattis and jatts are only interested in being in their own hindu brahmin given caste than listen to their Guru's and marry someone who is a Sikh regardless of caste. One was telling me how he was getting to know this girl who calls herself a proud Sikh girl on a dating site but has slept around with white guys and see's it as not a problem to be with non-sikh guys but her parents would flat out refuse her marrying any non-jatt Sikh guy so while she is sleeping around with non-sikh guys when it comes to marriage they will allow her to marry a white or jatt guy only. The other guy told me that he was getting to know this Sikh girl who seemed to tick all the boxes he is looking for in a girl until she asked for his surname, he said singh but then she said no whats your real surname. Being a Sikh he said singh again then she brought out her true intentions and openly asked what caste he was. He just said he is a Sikh and he doesnt believe in castes. And Sikhi is against castes so are you a castist or a Sikh? She said she is a sikh but for her parents sake she has to marry the same caste. He then told her good luck and blocked her from his contacts. Now brothers and sisters, if this is the state we are in where these girls mainly from the jatt articial brahmin hindu caste system only want to marry within their own caste against Sikhi and yet sleeping around with white, black and muslim guys then there is a serious issue in our kaum that needs addressing. Jatts are not alone in this, some of the tharkhan/ramgharia's girls are also holding out on the same ancient backward hindu caste belief system. Brahmin Hindu pandit's must be laughing their heads of at the state of our supposedly anti-caste religion. Once the brahmin priestly class could only dream of making Sikhs of the Guru's believe in discriminatory caste system but now they have managed to influence and pump up the various castes against each other to stick with their brahmin given castes their job is half done to Hinduise and keep Sikhs disunited. This is how inter-faith anti Sikh antics start when pendu punjabi castist parents tell their daughters you can marry anyone as long as its a gora or same caste.... these girls need get it into their heads that being with a fellow sikh regardless of their race or caste is the correct way of thinking.
  10. Meri marriage ajj ton 2 year pehla gurudwara sahib hoi c but mere and meri wife de parents nai c marriage vh asi apni mrji nal marriage krwai c... Meri wife apne ghr hi rehdi c pr hun jdo ohde ghr pta laga tan ohna ne jwab de dita... Court eh marriage nu accept krdi aa ya na ?
  11. Please attend our event on Saturday and let your friends and family know. You can sign up on the day and the event is always free. ð
  12. Please attend our event on Saturday and let your friends and family know. You can sign up on the day and the event is always free. ð
  13. wjlkk wjkf, I don't know what to do. I have been married for 3 and a half year but we separated after 8 months only. I did not leave but some unknown conversation at his house resulted in my husband failing to pick me up from my parents house as he agreed he would when I went to stay over for a night. That was when this whole nightmare got even worse and I we ended up separated. My married life started on a positive, and I was very happy. My husband literally was the man of my dreams and we got along on every level, I really coudln't have asked maharaj for more. I used to go to visit his family, was close with his mum... I felt so blessed and lucky! But, within weeks of being married and living in the house, I was introduced to a different side of this dream. My mother in law began to chip away at me, ordering me, whispering digs in my ear, putting me down, making disrespectful remarks towards my parents, putting restrictions on what I could and could not do (e.g. I wasn't allowed to sit with my husband at weddings, i was told never to allow my husband into the kitchen to help me etc, I was banned from seeing my parents for 2 months at a time because she felt I didn't love her like I did my own mother, wanting me to quit my job etc). The turn itself was enough to mess with one mind. Within weeks, in my in laws house I felt bullied, the remarks and digs were constant and always "dropped" in the middle of a conversation and then continued as if nothing was said. It was mind toying as I didn't know if she was being serious or not because she would change back her hugging and smiling routine straight after so it felt impossible to go back and ask what she meant. But it would play on me and I was really scared about doing wrong, as there was always something she didn't like and I would certainly be told off, again behind closed doors if I failed to follow her latest order. If I tried to talk to her, she would tell me I am being rude and I have not been taught properly by my parents. I began crying all the time but thought I could deal with it... its just words right? I didn't tell my husband initially as my side of it seemed so petty when explaining individual scenarios. But collectively and living it daily, i felt suffocated and bullied. Feeling very alone in this house, I became withdrawn and decided to keep my distance from my mother in law thinking if I engaged in less conversations with her, she would have less opportunity to something hurtful to me. But this was the big mistake I made. On the face of it, she would kiss me, hug me, stroke my face in front of everyone and keep asking what is wrong and why I am so sad... she would ask infront of the whole family. Behind closed doors, she would continue digging into me. I couldn't cope, it was too much to unfold just weeks after moving into my in laws house, I couldn't understand anything. Little did I know, that in addition to all of this, my mother in law as telling everyone else in the house "her story" of how I was not integrating in the house and despite how much she loves me, that she felt I did not like her and I was being rude to her. They all saw me a the trouble maker who didn't like their mum/wife... and that included my husband. By the time I realised this was happening, everyone was already on her side. I was the one who was displaying all my emotions, being withdrawn, crying and always "having a face on me" I was told. She on the other hand had shown how she kissed me, hugged me, stroked my face out of concern, so everyone believed her every word... I became the bad daughter in law who was causing trouble so that she could take their son and leave the house. My husband initally showed support and said we would move, when he saw me having nightmares, hallucinations and panic attacks in the night. But when it came to taking action, he could not do it. This grew a huge wedge between us and our relationship disintergrated into something that was very spiteful and toxic. I told him everything and that I couldn't cope, that I wanted to move out and that our relationship was failing day by day. We had to do something and get out of this toxic situation. A few weeks after, I was confronted by the whole family, my husband on their side, he had told them I wanted to move out. I was read my rights and told by my father in law that no-one was moving anymore, my mother in law talked about her "chaa" not being fulfilled and my husband stood tall with them and told me we are not moving for at least a year and I needed to deal with it. This is when my world fell apart. He would be nice to me alone and comfort me but then in front of them he would be the typical punjabi husband, and me the obedient punjabi house trained wife and show me no support, compassion or solidarity. I let him do this because I had no one else and when he was being nice with me, I couldn't help but grasp it with both arms. I was in a bad state, constantly crying and I honestly wish for my life to end... it was the ardaas I did to maharaj on a daily basis. I even wanted to take my own life as I did not know how to get out this, I was so unhappy. I used to pray for maharaj to get me out and had no value left for my life. I left myself go. Eventually, my health even started to go downhill. I was a real mess. Things just went from worse to worse and the once so loving happy relationship I had with my husband, became a volatile and abusive relationship of insults and name calling. We became unrecognisable to the couple that were so happily in love before we got married. He would now swear at me and force me to do things to please his family to show them I was listening and conforming. I began to resent him. We started counselling but he told his parents and they put an end to that and summoned us not to go. He only did as his parents told him, and unfortunately most of their decisions caused our marriage to break down even more. That is just skimming the surface of my story. In the 3 years that I have been home, my family have been my rock. They have supported me, helped me rebuild my strength, inner confidence and helped me to understand and heal the wounds. I had a year of counselling reconnected with sikhi, WIth maharajs kirpa, the biggest blessing in this whole nightmare is that my sikhi path is stronger than ever and with the support and bent kirpa of maharaj, I feel like I can deal with anything, as it is all in his hukam and I know my guru is always with me. This is my dilemma now... me and my husband have never stopped loving each other. Behind closed doors he has kept in contact with me for these 3 years and we both want to make it work. I have gone from hating his family and wanting nothing to do with them to agreeing to speak to them at family functions, to then agreeing to maybe go and see them sometimes, then to agreeing for them to come to our house as they wish, then to agreeing to see them regularly, then agreeing to forget everything and just start a fresh and integrate myself with them, go around regularly, make an effort etc. I am happy to forget the past, be compassionate to all parties and give 110% to him and his family but I have asked that we get our own home so that I can have relief from the situation and also so that we can re-build our foundation too, the marriage and our relationship is the key component here. My problem is, that despite agreeing to these increasing demands over the three years, my husband is now saying this is not good enough and if my promise to maharaj and our anand karaj really means so much to me, then to save this marriage, I have to come back and live in his parents house again. He is now refusing for us to buy a place of our own, despite how scared I feel. I have told how I felt, explained the bullying and my reason why I dont't think it will be beeficial but also how scared I am but he says there is no other choice and this is his condition. I feel black mailed by him because he is using my sikhi as a weakness for him to take advantage of. Should I go back and live at his parents house, take what comes from them and accept it all as maharaj's hukam? Or should I stand up for myself and refuse to be black mailed into something that clearly has broken me before and put my health and sanity into serious compromises? I don't want to break my promise to maharaj but I also worry about the worry I will be putting my family through...
  14. Guest

    Interfaith Marriage

    The sikh community worldwide has not more than 30 million adherents. So can we afford to have interfaith marriages.I am no supporter of it but how can we stop it. Sikhism will only stay alive as long as people who profess it stay alive. What are your views on this topic ?
  15. Guest

    Sikh Without Jatha

    VJKK VJKF! I am new to Sikhi and do not have a 'jatha'. I understand there are various jathas that bless their sangat with Amrit, each with their interpretation of the rehat that the baptised should follow. For example, common difference include: Keski v Kes Some allow Amrit to be blessed on those without Amritdhari spouses Only consumption of food prepared by Amritdharis v not eating the 'leftovers' of non-amritdharis - the latter being not concerned with who prepared the food Consumption of tea / coffee v it being forbidden etc etc I have no jatha as mentioned below. In my opinion, giving your head to the Guru and adopting the prescribed rehat are the only things that matter. However, given the large variance in interpretation, I am concerned as to what is actually according to Guru Rehat and what has been modified etc. over time. All I wish to get the blessing of is Amrit and uphold it with the blessing of the Guru. I do not want any hankaar in 'picking' the jatha and amrit requirements that best suit my desired lifestyle. Hope this helps. Regards,
  16. Guest

    Looking For A Singhni

    I've seen people posting marriage requests on here so I thought I'd just put this out there.. I'm an amritdhari singh, 24 years old, teacher, height 5'7". I live in the South of England. I'm looking for someone that is amritdhari and wears a keski/dastaar or would consider this. Age-wise any similar age or younger is fine (One or two years older is ok too). I won't add anything more to this post as more details can be shared afterwards. Like most people, I'm looking for someone whose personality I match with, can share a good laugh, and most importantly is looking for a life centered around Sikhi. If you are interested in finding out more, you can email me with a bit of info on singhfromsouth@gmail.com . If you don't mind please also send a photo. Only real people please!
  17. VJKK VJKF Online sangat Ji, this daas has one beantee. By way of background, I am a Sikh who met a non-sikh partner. We started dating and sometime into the relationship, Guru Sahib did kirpa and gave me the thirst for amrit. I understand and now agree that dating the non-sikh person was not proper. However, it may have been Maharaj Ji who set this khel for me. This person is lovely and has been very supportive in my aspirations. Now, she would like for us to get married and have a family etc. All of which I supported. However, now that I wish to be blessed with amrit, I ask: - will the panj payare administer this situation? - if they do, can I have a physical relation and children with her? The other thing is: - If it is a choice between Amrit and this person, I will pick Amrit and the Guru Sahib. However, I do not wish to break their heart as they also have akal roop inside them and I also consider this to be a sin. I am really confused either way. I wish to take hukamnama to resolve this and guidance from panj payare. But any other thoughts from the sangat will be greatly appreciated. VJKK VJKF Please forgive any mistakes from this lowly Sikh.
  18. Guest


    Wjkk wjkf I really need advise I have been talking to a Amrit Dhari Singhni & we get on Preety well our interests & hobbies match. I have never met her it's just chatting on social Media. We both are looking for future marriage partners. We both are Amrit Dhari however our families follow different jathbandis. She's AKJ & I'm Taksall. Do you think this will cause future problems? Does anyone have any experiences & how do we approach our families.
  19. In 2015 there was a lot of media coverage in the UK on the topic of interfaith marriages, this included a number of weddings that were disrupted by protestors. It has all gone very quiet and I am not sure what the final verdict was? Was there any formal communication from the Akaal Takht or another authority that ruled out any mixed marriages? Are gurdwaras still doing mixed marriages? are wedding still being stopped by protesters? Does anyone know what the status is?
  20. Please attend and let others know The date is now on 14th February 2016 on Sunday
  21. Please attend the event and let others know
  22. Sikh marriage Seva event is now on 14th February 2016 on Sunday
  23. Hello all, wjkk wjkf I am 27 years old and male. I would like to discuss about a new phenomenon/orientation that not a lot of people are aware about.... but is completely natural. I want to talk about asexuality. Its an orientation where people do not have any sexual desires towards any gender. Some of them masturbate, others dont. Some are romantic but want to stay away from physical relationships. As a matter of fact I found a sikh girl on AVEN forums (Asexuality forums) as well. Ever since I was in my late teens, I stopped being sexually attracted to women in real world. I am interested in them, but the idea of marriage and/or sex intimidates me. Especially in India nowadays, feminism and women power is being abused tremendously. Marriage in itself honestly is a business transaction. Men get married coz they want either sex, or hopefully a servant, or a child, or because marriage is a symbol of maturity. Women want to get married coz log kya kahenge, to get 'freedom', children etc etc. Girls parents literally 'sell' her daughter to the highest salaried person. I have not found one woman I can respect in a loving way. Moreover, almost all indians get married and have tons of kids. We are not dinosaurs who will become extinct. I hate my surroundings and how dirty it is. I dont want to bring my child into this depressed corrupt environment. I was on singhstreetstyle facebook page and made a few comments against 'marriage'. It doesnt mean that I hate married people. Are there any seekh or quotes that suggest that one should get married as a rule? I couldnt find one. I am a virgin and want to stay that way. I see almost every 11 year old having 'banda' and 'bandi' and kissing. I just cant imagine being in that state.
  24. This is just a question I have had in my mind so I thought Id put it out there What is the correct way to meet someone when it comes to marriage in sikhi? Im not ready for marriage yet, I'm in the process of sorting myself out but I've aways wondered that when the time does come, how do I meet someone? Noone in my family is keshdari, my mum doesn't have a big outreach within the community and my dad has never mixed with the sikh sangat so being introduced to someone is out the question for me
  25. Please attend the event and let others know Ji.
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