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  1. First of all let me express my agreement with all those who are likely to tell me so, that 'Kaam', or lust, is a bad thing. Where my own thoughts probably diverge from many other brothers and sisters in this matter is in my understanding of what 'Kaam' is. I consider a lustful person to be one whose thoughts are overwhelmingly predicated on sex, who struggles to control his (or her) desires which then go on to exert a detrimental influence on his (or her, though much more rarely it would seem) well being . A lot of other Sikhs conflate any and all varieties of sexual attraction, irrespecti
  2. Living in the Midlands, UK, aged 40+ and single so the pool of available single sikh people is so small that it feels impossible. I do not go out much and I'm either at work or at home so this a typical life of a 40+ adult. Relatives do not introduce suitable matches, no one wants to get involved these days. Gurdwara's have their own little lists where they charge £50 to £75 to register anyone searching for a partner and anyone that does not pay, WILL NOT receive any help, so I am sad to say but they are making money out of peoples unfortunate circumstances. I paid many Gurdwara's so once a
  3. Guest

    Daydreamer

    I am a young Sikh girl, who comes from a large family consequently through out my childhood and teenage life I've seen family members getting married. As every girl typically does, I too wonder about my future life and husband however as I'm growing older and as the family members of my age have begun to get married I feel as if mentally I've turned into a little day dreamer! Constantly all i do whilst doing anything through out the day is daydream, i am a firm believer of saving yourself for your perfect one and tried dating once but as result it had various complications and turned into a
  4. Guest

    Finance's Past

    I went to India on the bequest of my parents, it was somewhat forced. I was nearing the age of 30, I had never fooled around, only had 2 serious relationships. My parents pushed me to marry one girl, and i agreeed. She later tells me she has dated and fooled around, I have been depressed for the longest time, as I waited my whole life for marriage. I feel like breaking it off, but I have no real prospects, is this all maharaj's khel, if it is I am somewhat confused. What lesson can i learn from this?ss
  5. Okay. I have been thinking about this for a while. I am at an age where my friends are getting married and I am thinking about my future in terms of married life. A little while to go and my parents will start pushing it! But for some time, I've been consciously thinking about how much I do not want to have children. What does Sikhism say regarding this? I know Guru Nanak Dev Ji said we should live among the world and part of that includes having kids and teaching them about Gurmat. What if I take the time out to teach other children Gurmat, at the Gurdwara perhaps? I am still teaching kids,
  6. As a GurSikh from America, here I can see more interfaith weddings happening within my own community and all over my own country. I was curious if your sangat in Canada, UK, Austrialia, others are seeing more interfaith marriages occurring in gurdwaras than usually. I really think this is becoming a bigger issue within the panth. I know there are a lot of topics on it, but how do we tackle on the issue of stopping interfaith marriages in gurdwaras. A protest by locking a gurdwara seems a little harsh but does work, but I think gurdwara committees need to step up following the rehit better and
  7. VaheguruJiKaKhalsa VaheguruJiKiFateh Hai JI VaheguruJiKaKhalsa VaheguruJiKiFateh Hai JI Could Sangat enlighten me on the procedure of a Gursikh Viyah for my knowledge Ji As I have went to Sikh Viyahs, which dont keep full rehat etc. Thanks Daas, VaheguruJiKaKhalsa VaheguruJiKiFateh Hai JI VaheguruJiKaKhalsa VaheguruJiKiFateh Hai JI
  8. Vaheguroo, I have been looking to get married for a couple of years now and have even told numerous Gursikhs, but they haven't been looking for a partner for me. What are the best matrimonial websites to use as an Amritdhaari? I don't want to use Sangat Matrimonial (too many issues). Thank you in advance.
  9. Guest

    Caste And Pind

    need some help.. both have taken amrit, both are different caste, both have different surnames but it has come to our attention we have the same Pind, the boys pind doesnt live there no more and havnt for a very long time.. is having the same pind a problem even not being related and beng different caste?
  10. Hi, My family are a bit traditional and want me to marry a guy from the same caste (jat) - I eventually met a really nice Sikh Jat guy but when we told the parents (early on) his nani had an issue - she has the same surname as me and is from the same village as my dad's ... As far as my grandparents can see we're not related...is this more a cultural thing or is it a definite no no???????????? Any help would be much appreciated, Thanks
  11. Guest

    Seek Advice

    This may seem weird but I really need some assistance on the below. I am nearing 30 years, a Sikh girl. And will be meeting someone along with the family for a matrimonial alliance soon. Frankly have not met many people or had many rishtha for me to know what kinds of questions to ask. Too nervous & not good with putting up a confident outlook. All my family knows about them is through a matrimonial consultancy & their profile that we got to read. So as you can see we know very little. The profile seemed to give a decent overall picture of what we looking for. Although this person is
  12. I'm Latina and love Sikh Punjabi men. I find very interesting and beautiful Indian culture
  13. Hi, i live in the uk and my parents want me to have an arranged marriage in india (i have no problem with this) but I dont really know much about punjabi girls, the girl is from a village in punjab and theres so many questions that Im not sure who can answer or who I should ask, such as what if we dont feel in love after we get married? how intimate can you be with each other? is it like relationships in the western world where you kiss each other all the time when youre alone, would they have sex for fun/get closer to each other or would they see it as simply for reproduction? I think id fin
  14. me and this girl like each other and potentially want to get married if things go to plan and it feels right. However her mom has said she will not allow it because my grandmother and her nani are from the same pind. However they are different surnames and everything. I don't see why this would be a problem at all?
  15. http://jezebel.com/sikh-temples-in-england-advised-to-beware-of-same-sex-u-857167306
  16. Waheguru ji ka khasa, waheguru ji ki fateh, Please advise... I have been married for 2 years and am now separated from my husband and going through a divorce. I do not want the separation or divorce, but my husband has been verbally abusive to me which started shortly after our marriage, Before this time, we were a very happy couple. He has also become physically abusive and emotionally blackmails me and really made me ill. He refuses to get help for himself and his family are fully supportive of him and blame me and refuse to acknowledge the wrong doings or problems their son has. His
  17. Where does it say I can't marry someone from the same village as me in India. We are not blood related but different caste. Does it say in the gurbani? She is a Chohan and I am a pooni there is no bloodline plus we different caste.
  18. Dear Sangat Ji, I am a frequent reader of this site but I seldom post, and am for the first time ever starting a new thread. I do so because I feel that we can perhaps openly examine as a community some of the root causes of many of the challenges that posters present here, especially in the Gupt section. I post here instead of "Whats Happening" as there may be those who wish to contribute but not reveal their identities. The topics that keep coming up over and over include: Women and issues with hair (and the fact that it affects their chances of marriage) Youngsters and romantic relation
  19. dear sat sangat ji, can you tell me what are sikh teachings and beliefs og having an anand karaj whilst being pregnant. this has been on my conscience for a while now and have mustered the courage to ask. i have looking for advice and answers but have so far been unsuccesful.
  20. waheguru ji ka khalsa wahegru ji ki fateh! its really strange and really hard to find amrtidhari kaurs to get married, if i have shave off my beard and head hairs it would be much easier to find one, but one being amritdhari singh and finding a gursilkh girl .. really hard if someone knows who is looking for gursikh guy, who loves to do simran, keertan, educated, working in usa as software qa engineer, can contact me at tarandslcon3@gmail.com . I don't like to hide my feelings thats what i am expressing here
  21. Guest

    marriage problem

    i was reading the views regarding marriage. It is true most sikh girls now want clean shaven men if the ads are seen. The jat community preferes only jats. They are not ready to go out of their caste. In order to become a true sikh we need to get out of caste system. the sikh girls women who most of them are educated should give preference to sikh boys and men not clean shaven. in case somebody has better views it can be emailed to me at franklinrooseveltfrancis@hotmail.com. Myself i am 40 yr old sikh guy living in canada.
  22. Guest

    Marriage worries

    I am 20, and the topic of marriage continues to come up these days. The thought of marrying a stranger (through an arranged marriage) really scares me. It has recently hit me that I'll be going into a completely unknown family and will know hardly anything about my husband. I don't have a dad, he was a raging alcoholic and subsequently I am picky about the sort of partner I'd want. The very last thing I want is to be stuck in a miserable marriage. But the process of having an arranged marriage doesn't allow for that... I imagine that those couple of families who are interested in me will let
  23. WJKK WJKF. I need guidance on my current "relationship". I know that A LOT of people experience what i am currently going through, but I feel as though people reply with lines from gurbani (Which is obviously what we should be doing) but can someone respond who has actually gone through this and reply with feeling and emotion rather than going all crazy religious on me! I know that sounds bad but please dont take it the wrong way! I too am amritdhari, I just took amrit about a year ago, and so did the guy i am currently interested in. I am 20 and he is 21. We are not "Dating" but we have ever
  24. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh ji, I've been attending weddings since ever basically lol typical. But its soon to be my own. So basically someone in the family found/recomended a girl for me to my parents and things got rolling from there. I plan to take Amrit in the near future. I want to get into keeping rehit before i take Amrit so i know i can commit to keeping rehit instead of taking Amrit and then seeing if i can keep it or not. The proposed girl for me is not kesdhari at the moment. I'm hoping here journey will lead her onto this path soon. Now both families are typical
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