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  1. VJKK VJKF I feel like I have let the Guru down. I can improve myself in so many ways but it is so hard to change pukkia adhata. (Bad habits). My family are a typical Punjabi household, when I was very young (about 3) I was taken to have my ears pierced and I had no control over it. I am 13 years old now but I still have my ears pierced but they will not close up and I try not to wear earrings but my Dadi always tells me to ear earrings and she shouts at me if I don't listen to her so I reluctantly put them in. I feel like crying because my mum always says: "Why can't you be like other girls?" And I always feel like I'm always feeling as if I'm having to choose between Vaheguru and my family. My dad always tells me to eat meat and I always tell him that I don't want it. None of my family are very supportive of me taking amrit but I am definitely taking it no matter what. My heart yearns for the darshan of Guru Ji. I love Guru Ji so much and now I have held on to the charan of Guru Ji I never want to let go ever. I am a really bad person because I can't stand up for myself. I am so disappointed with myself I just feel so helpless but one thing I will never do is conform into society because most people fall into this trap and no matter how far society will try to lead me away from Vaheguru I know that I will always come falling back at Vaheguru's charan. I want to make my true Guru pita feel proud of me, not disappointed. The rate I am going Guru Ji will never love me. VJKK VJKF
  2. Guest

    Proud

    Waheguru ji kha khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, Sat Sri Akal sangat I have problem that is eating me inside and I hope you guys can help me, ok to cut a long story short, I am from Birmingham (UK), I’m a problem son in my family (or was), growing up I was known for getting into allot of fights when I was at college although good academically. At the age of 16 - 20 that was in my eyes the prime of me getting into fights, not with apneh but mainly with musalmaan and kaleh at which I was successful and I held my own and the fellow apne's reputation at college. Well the day came where I beat up a certain sulah in the college premises I know not a clever thing but it happened as I didn’t tolerate getting disrespected. well I had a disciplinary hearing and I got kicked out (my fault) I realised the hard way I didn’t complete my A levels in biology, physics and English and my parents didn’t know what to do with me, I was at home for a year considering what I should do, there was no other college I would go to in Birmingham as I knew id either be out numbered in some colleges and I just needed a break in terms of putting myself in these situations, well in that year I realised all my friends only wanted to know me when I was at college but when I got kicked out nobody wanted to know me although I did help them as a loyal veer, at home my parents looked down at me and I was not enjoying life. I knew deep down I need to change my ways because I lost out while everyone else had their careers on the go doing well etc etc. So I calmed down I only let the fighting happen in the boxing gym from which I’ve been at since I was 10 years old as im passionate about the sweet science, a couple of years went by and I decided to go back to college to finish my A levels this time it was different I was at a college out of Birmingham which I commuted to I didn’t have friends and I didn’t have the urge to make friends I had Waheguru and I didn’t need or want anyone else after learning the hard way I just wanted to sort my life out and do well for once, ok so I completed my A levels and now I’m off to university the reason why I got through it was because I got into Sikhi more, the first time I yearned listening to Ang 681, Raag Dhanaasree. Jo Mange Thakur Apne Teh id be in such bliss when listening to kirtan and doing naam simran. reading sakhis and trying to be a better Sikh when I had know one I had the Gurus wisdom, I learnt so much listening to kathas from Bhai Sukha singh and many others, this really helped me, I had reformed myself when a confrontation did happen wherever it may be I took it in a different manner I would think before I acted, I would walk away knowing I could destroy this guy if I wanted to and as I need a clean record as I want to pursue a career in health. But it’s got to a point now where I think I’m going too soft, I just think people are taking advantage taking my kindness for weakness and I regret not beating up those drunk polish guys a couple of hours ago, What do I do sangat ji, I’m still unfortunately Proud although taking these situations in a different account it eats me inside thinking that I have got too soft. I need help. Thanks for taking your time out reading this post. Waheguru Ji Kha Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki fateh.
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