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How would you go about letting your parents know you wanted to move it out in the future? I care for them, but they are somewhat controlling and clingy and can drain your energy often if you stay around them too much with all the arguing, and personal unhappiness/dukh and sometimes bitterness they carry with them. There's not much space where you can avoid them when they're not in a good mood and try to farm and keep your own peace internally and there isn't much privacy or space to act independently and it feels like I'm not free. Like I can't really go anywhere without them asking to know where I went, or if I achieve something (small or big) or try to build some routine/habit, they can't help themselves from telling other people despite me telling them not to do that many times. So one quick example, I started a diet plan like 2 weeks ago to start getting into shape and told them not to tell anyone else. They didn't agree with my actual diet plan and weren't too happy that I wasn't following their ideas. I started having like 1-2 rotis max per meal and I wouldn't have roti if the sabji wasn't high in protein like gobi, or gajara and I would make something else for myself instead plus I would go light on the gyo which always ticked them off and there would always be some argument whenever that happened. A few weeks later at a familly event they tell everyone I am dieting and all these uncles I don't know start giving their advice. I was mad because it seemed my parents were trying to get some revenge on me for not following their advice of having more roti and gyo by telling them something I told them not to share and they seemed to enjoy it somewhat. I really like my privacy and would rather keep as much as I can to myself. I don't really want anyone to know what I am doing because then your always being watched and everyone knows the cards in your hands and since I can't really trust people to keep anything private, I don't feel free at all and while I do what I can, I can feel the drainage of having to constantly resist this part of their nature to somewhat control and keep me codependent. How much more could I do/accomplish if I didn't have to dedicate energy against my parents or if they weren't frequently draining it. This is one small and example and on its own it's really a nothing, but all these small nothings add up and lead to bigger things, and I've noticed this is common in our community and it happens to some of my cousins as well. Maybe it's the parents way of carrying their children as their trophies, but the bigger problem is I think deep down that I won't be able to develop properly as an adult if I keep living with them for my entire life or atleast if I never venture out on my own once. I plan on helping them when they get older cause they're my parents and really do want good for them or atleast I think I do, and I may temporarily move in with them or have them move in with me if I want to spend more time with them or their health starts go do down cause time changes everything. But, from previous experiences of trying to help them deal with their problems I noticed that they will very quickly try to depend on me to fix their problems and in a sense try to drown me with them. I already somewhat made it out once thanks to maharaj's kirpa, so I don't want to be pulled back in but I don't want them to drown either, so I think the best I can do for them is to lend them a stick and help them from a distance, but if they don't take help then there's nothing more that I can really do for them. I think the idea of their children moving out makes them angry/sad and it's more a storm of a bunch of different emotions mixed in at once with some attachment-clingy or dependency kind of love and maybe some sense of needing to control. I tried dropping hints to test a reaction and it didn't go well. For now, I try to keep my own peace internally and not let them drain it or let their negativity rub off on me so that the cycle ends with them and so if I become a father in the future, my kids won't see those negative aspects of my parents reflected through me and they hopefully benefit from that and can go further down the line morally for their future legacy. But, of course there's still days where it feels overwhelming to deal with it and it's always affecting other areas of my life and in those moments of weakness, I go back to guru sahib to get some more strength to hold the fort and I carry on trying to remove all bitterness/ negativity from my own mind and try instead to fill my mind with peace and coolness by sometimes doing simran while allowing myself to just feel grateful for everything I have as deeply as I can allow, for even these simple clothes that I wear now or the blankets that keep me warm at night are god's blessings. I want to be that person in a group who simply by just being around you feel that same pure energy in your own mind which gives you some temporary relief to your own suffering and gives you hope for your own life. It's kind of like what I am feeling right now, but I want to be overflowing with this energy, this sukh from naam. There's not enough people like that in the world and the few who are have to be extremely cautious not to be swarmed and overwhelmed by the dukhs of other people and again be thrown back into the same mess they escaped in the first place and become loaded with dukh all over again. What would you guys advise as parents or children would be the best way to deal with all this? Do I really need to live with my parents their entire lives to take care of them even if I intend to help them later in their times of most need? How would you guys balance this drive for independence and also responsibility to care for your parents as an independent adult? Did you guys go through similar things? Any general advice, or tips from experience? All appreciated.