Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'attachment'.
Found 4 results
Vjkk Vjkf, Sorry for how long this is in advance I'm really struggling and could do with some advice. quite a few years ago I lost my mother to cancer. After she passed away I didnt think about her too much because I guess it was easier to block out the pain rather than think about her condition deteriorating and no longer being here also I didnt have any stresses of life at the time and so it didnt hit me that hard then. about 3/4 years later as I started working harder I started becoming more stressed and this is when depression and anxiety hit me. After a few months I started to take anti depressants and then I spiraled out of control completely. I overdosed multiple times, I self harmed drank smoke at times. I was also gambling heavily. During this period I wasnt taking the medication properly and I pushed my close family away. I harassed a girl which made me feel 100 times worse as I felt so guilty and eventually got in trouble with the law. I have gotten much better over time as I was advised I was misdiagnosed and shouldn't have been given those anti depressants especially which were such a high dosage. I havent drank/smoke or gambled for over a year or so. My relationships with my immediate family have gotten better over time also thankfully. I know myself deep within that despite some of my bad actions/choices it wasn't really me so I've gotten better at forgiving myself. However I'm still affected as I don't have any friends now my family all have wives/husbands and kids and I can't talk to my dad about how I feel as he is from India and he doesnt understand emotions. i dont know who to talk to and I keep hoping that this relationship I had with this girl will get better over time. She is now married but I didnt really care about that I was just happy that she was initially regularly communicating with me during my initial depression stage. She has completely blocked me off and i'm not allowed to contact her. I used to know her initially from Saturday school and had multiple friends in common. When I was struggling I was just really hoping that I could always help her or support her when ever I needed because I saw her in such a positive light. That harassing was due to me being sorry and wanting her to realise that i wasnt in the right frame of mind. I've never fallen out with anyone before this and the fact that i know she gets a long with other people i know makes me feel weird now. I constantly think of her and miss her which I know sounds wrong but its my depression kicking in telling me there is something wrong with me. I dont view her in any other way than a sister but as I've caused her a lot of stress I care about her more and every time she hurts me its like I think this isn't really her and she is only putting an act on because her parents don't want me to have anything to do with her. I know I should spend more time dedicating myself to sikhi but a part of me feels angry and upset and alone. Growing up in an Amritdhari family and going to keertan programmes when I was younger I've always had a wish to take Amrit hence why i've never cut my hair/beard off. I only know japji sahib which i was taught by mummy ji to do but I have an issue whereby I dont fully do it e.g. sometimes I would just listen to and I want to Amrit someday but when I start reading Jaap Sahib after 6-7 mins I struggle to continue and feel like its dragging on. I do simran when I wake up and at night. What would you recommend I do? Am I a bad person for still thinking/hoping this relationship with this girl would become better and I would feel better about myself? Is this attachment even though I have no desire to spend my life with her and it hurts badly when I think about it? I'd appreciate any advice you can give. Vjkk Vjkf
ਸਲੋਕ ਮਃ ੫ ॥ सलोक मः ५ ॥ Salok mėhlā 5. Shalok, Dakhanay Fifth Mehl: ਪਹਿਲਾ ਮਰਣੁ ਕਬੂਲਿ ਜੀਵਣ ਕੀ ਛਡਿ ਆਸ ॥ पहिला मरणु कबूलि जीवण की छडि आस ॥ Pahilā maraṇ kabūl jīvaṇ kī cẖẖad ās. First, accept death, and give up any hope of life. ਹੋਹੁ ਸਭਨਾ ਕੀ ਰੇਣੁਕਾ ਤਉ ਆਉ ਹਮਾਰੈ ਪਾਸਿ ॥੧॥ होहु सभना की रेणुका तउ आउ हमारै पासि ॥१॥ Hohu sabẖnā kī reṇukā ṯa▫o ā▫o hamārai pās. ||1|| Become the dust of the feet of all, and then, you may come to me. ||1|| SGGS Ang 1102
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh My friend asked me a question, saying what does it mean to remain unattached from your family. I could not answer this. But I though about this and what I think it means is to remember that your family wont go with you in the end all your bonds will break when we die. Is this what being unattached to your family means ? I know Guru Sahib Ji wants us to live a normal life and have family, so we should love and care for our family as well right? Please forgive me if i said anything wrong or offensive Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
I've started reading bani for the first time ever. So far I can see the following messages are repeated: Remember god through naam simran. Everything is preordained by god and we are not in control of our fate, we only receive liberation when he wants us to. Don't love your parents, wife, children, only love god. It everything is preordained then why bother with anything? You can take the attitude - 'if it's going to happen it will happen' Not loving your family sounds a bit cold, why bother caring for your family? Can someone please explain this to me? Do we have free will? Or is our destiny truly written on our forehead?