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Hello, I am 21, since i was 15 my life has gone downhill. I am not a baptised Sikh. I have a rare skin disease which has left my back and other parts of my body heavily scarred and difficult to even look at. I broke my leg months before my GCSE exams and was bed ridden for months, even now my knee is not completely fine. I have OCD (not the fake ocd like you see in social media) where I have horrible intrusive thoughts 24/7 and I find it difficult to even do prayers. I have done prayers for the past year every day in the morning. I used to recite chaupai sahib but now can only listen as my intrusive thoughts say bad things about the Guru and Waheguru so I'm too ashamed to recite it, I also try to say thanks and ask for help from the Guru and Waheguru and I do Naam Simran and Mool Mantar. Things just keep getting worse. My 'manhood' is also below average. Due to all of these things adding up I've put on a lot of weight as I can't motivate myself to do anything and I feel so cursed. I cry most days and constantly think of suicide. I have tried asking for help on other forums but they all think I am a troll which just pushes me closer to ending it all. I will never be able to enjoy my life and do things a normal man would. things keep getting worse for me. I have been to Gurdwara's in India and have asked for help from the Guru and Sikh Saints. Nothing is helping. If anyone can explain why this is happening and the best way to rid myself of most of this I would be greatful. I know to be a Sikh you must accept Waheguru's decisions but I find it difficult as my life is falling apart. Please someone help. WJKK WJKF