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Found 5 results

  1. Guest

    Ms

    Hello everyone. My (Sikh) parents did not approve of my choice of partner for marriage. I was honest from day one and told them I had met a Sikh guy and we get on etc. However, my mum in particular was strongly against my choice of partner due to caste. I took the big step and chose to marry my partner because I don’t believe in caste. My parents did not attend the wedding. I am happily married and have been blessed with a child. However it saddens me that my parents and my extended family have disowned me and have never visited me. What infuriates me is my mums behaviour. Around two years ago she went through the Amrit Sanchar ceremony. My understanding is that my mum is now a baptised Sikh and should not hold any beliefs towards caste. To this day my mum has not made any effort to build relations with my husband. When I speak to my mum, she never asks or acknowledges my husband. Im so confused and angry.
  2. Gurfateh ji, I am in my early 20's and don't get along with my grandma. she really knows how to get under my skin. She's not even like an evil grandma or anything. Just a normal everyday bibi. She is always lingering, nagging to do housework. She's super negative towards my dad and muttering under her breathe. On top of that she is amritdhari without any understanding of gurmat which really annoys me. Wears kakkar but will never teach me punjabi or sit down have gurmat vichaar or want to change mentality. Yet she will end every conversation with "Challo, Vaheguru de hatha vich ee aa" reluctantly after 1 hr of being unsatisfied about her life. I feel guilty for wanting to do things my own way; hermit zone, listen to kirtan and katha and do chores separate (I concentrate better + chores done quicker). I don't want to talk to bibi as I find most content unnecessary. Her whole life is about housework and revolves around that so I be formal and respectful but that's it. I have to force myself to talk for her mental wellbeing so she doesn't feel alone. Then I feel drained personally, feeling spiritually empty/ disconnected cos havn't had enough katha/ kirtan/ vichaar/ sangat to remind of real purpose. Even if we don't talk, it's like she is always sending negativity towards me. (?Idk if going crazy). If someone is an elder I don't automatically respect them. If they have gian, gurmat, positivity then I do truely love and respect them, regardless if blood relationship or not. But if all that has been collected in negativity, hypocrisy then I have no need/ desire to respect bcos i seek more than that. I also lowkey resent that she never passed on knowledge e.g. about punjabi, meanings of gurbani cos she doesn't know. It's just about mundane things like making sabji... which sorry bibi, I know it's your life purpose but for me I know and can make it and that's it. I don't need to talk about daal sabji, housework etc to fill out my day. And then this contaminates my own sikhi cos look at me now... I am unsatisfied and complaining about another human being. It's taking away from my life, where this energy should be focused on Vaheguru. I don't want to end up like my family and put housework etc before sikhi. It's like a mix of hormones, generational differences in thinking, spiritual ego of mine, cultural guiltyness for not respecting elders, and no1 lack of experience in grist jeevan skills. Please help. Some insight to how to establish some sort of common ground? Anyone have similar experiences or am I the only rotten'' child?
  3. I've seen from time to time different threads pertaining to the Israel-Palestine conflict. Some have supported Israel. Others Palestine. Some say neither is. But Guru Gobind Singh told us already. Every question is answered by Guru Sahib Ji (I'm sorry I don't know the ang., but it is from Krishna Avtar): Kou kise ko rajnade hai Jo lai hai nij bal sit lai hai No people can have self-rule as a gift from another. It has to be seized through their own strength. After Zionist revolts began in Palestine for a Jewish state (Israel) and for a while created devastation, the United Nations (UN) jumped in and split Palestine into two countries: Palestine and Israel. In wars, not much later, Israel took over Palestinian land and kept it for their own. So...who is right? Well...Israel,,,right? Wrong. Yes, they took over land, but the United Nations (UN) gave Israel land for free, and the right to being its own country. Israel got 55% of land and Palestine got the other 45%. It was completly disproportional. Becoming an internationally recognized nation gave Israel the ability to having stability, which Palestine had to, but without the UN, Israel wouldn't have had much of it. And even though the UN's purpose of giving land to Israel was "to stop violence", it is more than likely that by now the conflict would have been cleared up without the UN, but since the original Palestinian land was split up, it has taken many more lives. For those who have given up on figuring out who is right and who is wrong, the Tenth King gives us the answer plain and simple. Dhan Dhan Sri Satguru Gobind Singh Sahib Ji Maharaja!
  4. Hi http://seavent.blogspot.com/2014/08/masandvaad-sgpc-vs-hsgmc.html हम संगत को, पैसों का माथा टेकना बंद करना चाहिए, क्योकि धरम का पैसे से कोई लेन देंन नही, भक्ति तो अपने आप में पूर्ण होती है, उसके लिए पैसे की क्या आवश्यकता. I wrote an article against the rising HSGMC vs SGPC clash, THought about the cause of such committees clashing with each other. Isnt this a Masand-vaad. Which needs to be curbed right now and forever. THe article is in Hindi. If you dont know hindi, we can translate the same. Thank REGARDS Navjit
  5. Hey everyone, So I have been lurking this forum for quite some time, and I really like the help that everyone is getting. A lot of the people that post here are very intelligent in the Sikh ways and I hope you guys can help me out too, being that I don't know a lot of Sikh people besides my immediate family.It's only fair that I post my story so that other people can gain insight from my situation as I did. So I've been through a lot mentally, so I'll try to leave out the details. Basically I've been going through a lot with coping with my identity. I grew up in a Sikh family and I was having thoughts of cutting my hair and beard. I didn't want to tell anyone because I knew it would hurt my family, so I kept it in trying to battle it on my own. I didn't know a lot of Sikh people besides my close family, so I've been on my own for the most part. However over time, it got harder and harder. I was suppressing my emotions while I was with them, and was bottling it all in. After a few years of this, I had to tell someone. Eventually, we were bickering back and forth on discussing this matter and going nowhere fast. There was going to be no middle ground in this, and both of us knew that. Fast forward about 8 months later. I cut my hair and beard. I feel a lot better when it comes to my appearance, but its still not enough for me. We don't have the discussion much anymore, besides a few times when my dad says that it hurts him when he sees me. (When I go home, I wrap a turban on out of respect for my family. Yet it is still implicit that I did get it cut.) Not only does that add on to my guilt, I think about my family members who kept their identity and are doing well. I think about where I went wrong in my thinking that lead me to today. I love my family so much that I hate hurting them in this way. The last time I got my hair cut was in mid-July, and my mother was very happy that I haven't gone to get a haircut recently. It's things like this where my guilt clashes like a golf cart and a semi truck. I love my family so much that I don't want to hurt them, yet I'm conflicted with what I want to do. Even yesterday I went to the hair salon, but I couldn't go inside with the feelings of my family going through my mind, so I turned around and left. If I am really honest with myself, I like the way that I look now then the way I did before. I was even surprised about the reactions I got before and after; they are more positive now. But it's tough to maintain because of all the factors that I have mentioned before; with my family and those who kept up with it. I guess what I'm alluding to writing in this post is that my conflict has stayed the same. Before when I had my identity, it was my views vs the family views. And now after the fact, the game is still the same. Has anyone or does anyone know of anyone that has been through the same thing that I am going through and can share their experiences? My scope is limited because I don't know a lot of Sikh people, but from what I gather, its either an all or nothing thing: I've seen families where either they are all Sikhs and keep their identity, or families where none of them keep their identity. Not split like the situation that I am in. Any input would help. Thanks in advance for reading this and for your help.
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