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Found 12 results

  1. In Sikhi there is no mention of divorce, i don't think it is mentioned in any Dharmic faith. So when Sikhs "divorce" what happens? if there is no concept of divorce does that mean if a couple divorces by law that they still are married in the eyes of God? So even if you are "divorced" in the eyes of the law you are still actually married because Guru ji gives us no concept of divorce. no offence to divorcees
  2. Guest

    Miss

    Hello everyone. I know I will be heavily judged for this post but I’m prepared for it and could do with some honest advice/ help/support. I have been dating a British born Sikh gentleman for the last year. He is in his late 40’s and married ( although separated& has 2 kids- 16 &21) . I’ve known him for 10 years and always known he was unhappily married. It was an arranged marriage when he was 17. Now I know you will all judge him but he is a genuine, decent, caring individual who respects all sanctities of life. Similar to myself I so many ways. He is also a good dad. I am I white British and not really religious but the beliefs I do have are very similar to that of the Sikh culture. In the past week my partner has finished all his studying, during which time he has lived away from the family home. He has now told me that he needs to move back into his family home (with wife )otherwise his parents will outcast him from the community. At which point we have split up. I am devastated that in such a day and age this is how things are. I also feel sorry for him because he tells me that he and his wife have nothing in common and by all accounts it would seem that she has a different partner too. He also stays with me every weekend and goes home to visit his kids during the days which leads me believe that they must know he’s with someone else.What I don’t understand is how when 2 people love eachother so much and are so right together the rest of the community can’t see or agree to this. Surely your children’s happiness of utmost importance?We are good people we love volunteering in areas of need and always try to be kind in any way in which we can. I guess I’m asking if anyone could advise On whether it’s possible to work past these issues? Also has anyone ever had to deal with something similar. Thanks in advance
  3. Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh i am writing my story here and seeking advice from senior married brothers and sister. I have acnt here but I am writing as Gupt. Unmarried people plz dont reply. so I am Citizen here in Canada since 2012 and I am an Amritdhari Singh, never went for any bad parties, doing my nitnem etc with full devotion. Never have any girlfriend till now. I am 30 now. I went backhome Punjab to get married, we got through many rishte and finally got one through newspaper. The girl( my wife) is amritdhari, her parents are also amritdharis. I went through simple gurmat rituals, no dowry etc. Even girls parents were trying to gift me money and gold but I refused and took nothing at all. My marriage was almost according to gurmat. marrriage went well, I stayed with my wife for one month and came back here to canada. As i have to sponser her here I was asking her to apply for her passport everyday. She kept on saying that her passport will be ready in a month or two. and last week she told me that there is a problem with the passport. She told me that we had some fight with someone in 2014 , and i have a case registered under my name. His brother ( my <banned word filter activated>) and his dad are also in case. So until the case clears her enquiry for passport can’t clear. In other words she can’t come to canada until court decides her not guilty. so it was a big news for me, i am very upset, case is not a big issue but she and her family kept on hiding the truth since last 3 months, that hurting me deeply. I cried and since last week i am very upset. She continuously asking for sorry. I have told her that I cannot live with a liar anymore. I never demanded anything from their family infact i told them before marriage that if your financial condition is low I can come to marry ur daughter with just 5 persons so that they can save their money. Since my childhood I always remain away from girls, always respected the intuition of marriage. But her one lie is eating me up. I cry many times a day. My family my mom and dad sisters are saying the case will be over soon or lator so don’t go for divorce. Your wife hide the truth its bad, but she is not a bad girl. My family like her but she lied to me. She didn’t revealed the truth earlier because her parents told her as they cannot find a canadian gursikh boy easily . So they hide. Because of her one big lie, a feeling of hate is developing inside me. I can’t smile looking at her picture anymore. Her face and her picture don’t give me peace anymore. Every second is spent with her is hurting me now. I am so disappointed. I went to Gurudwara and cried there I cannot find peace anywhere. Everynight i keep crying. I cant stop crying while doing nitnem as well. She is requesting continuously and asking for sorry, she said this was my last and first mistake that she did on her parents order, she promises never to lie me again. I somehow feel like i should give her a second chance but on the same time i feel she is a liar. I always lived according to Gurbani and never betrayed anyone in my whole life. She lied to me and she should not have any place in life.I am stuck both ways, if i go for divorce it will take atleast a year or two and another year for re.marriage, if i move on - forgive her for this lie and still I can’ live with her as she is a liar and i am staring to dislike her. Sometimes i feel like I shouldn’t live anymore ( but i am not a coward to commit suicide etc- i am very confident but now a feeling a developing inside) i have no interest in anything now. What options u will have if u are in my place? I request everyone here not to make fun of my post ( i am using this forum since 2016 i have seen some people reply without thinking) i need some good advice
  4. if divorce was an option and not a taboo back in the 70s and 80s do you think many of the aunties and uncles would be divorced today? I think yes they would, i look at some of these couples and their marriage seems to be more of a contract and duty. It seems the only thing that binds these flop marriages together are the kids in the middle.
  5. Guest

    Trouble in marriage

    Satshriakal ji sareya nu! Im a 27 yr old married woman. Its been 2and a half years of my marriage. And it was against the will of my family. I stay alone cos me and my husband have alot of issues and troubles with each other ever since we got married. We had a 3 year long relationship before we got married and it's been 6 years now that we're together. But due to some past bad experiences and things that took place it seems we have an intensive amount of hatred towards each other now and thus we are thinking of filing a divorce. As much as i want to save this marriage, i also know it isn't a very sane idea. I believe he is seeing another woman out of our wedlock who is driving him crazy and thus, he has lost all love, compassion and humanity towards me. The marriage has also got so abusive both physically and verbally. I still love him though so is there a path i can do to save my marriage and get him back on the right track. I also think someone might have done something to him or brainwashed him. Not sure! It's causing me alot of depression
  6. My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?
  7. Guest

    Divorce

    A quick question. Having recently gone through divorce and seeing that lots of people are getting divorced these days, is there still a stigma attached to divorce? Also is it worse for men or woman. For all going through this unpleasant life event, have hope and remember that no good marriage ever ended in divorce. There is always something better just around the corner, it takes time to heal but time really is the key. Me personally have chosen to remain single and avoid relations with woman is a new phenomenon called MGTOW men going there own way. Men historically have always gone their own way however with western marriage law and post modern feminism marriage is just not a good deal for men. If the relationship goes wrong (50% of marriages in UK end in divorce) then men risk losing there home money and any reasonable access to see their children. Marriage is a business contract that is about money, this is why if it goes to divorce then all it is about the money. Sad state of affairs. I honestly feel sorry for people that are getting married these days, everyone congratulates but I want to tell them to do it. Now I follow my passions and enjoy my life without conflict I choose what I want to do when I want to do it. I help lots of people in my community and the best bit is that i can see my family and friends when I choose and my money is mine. Has anyone else chosen a going your own way life? It does not matter is female or male as both can choose to live this life.
  8. So my marriage has completely changed since we had our first baby, we started to argue and not get along- i hear this is normal due to factors such as sleep deprivation, low social life and constant struggle of getting through the routine of cooking and cleaning... Anyways then I got pregnant again which resulted in a misscarriage. He wasn't there to support me and even after it happened he spent a whole weekend shouting about me sleeping and not pulling my weight (excuse me if the loss of gallons of blood have tired me out). Since then I just keep fanticising about other guys, can be off tv, exs, anyone but him. I feel like having a affair (but really if it came down to it i would feel guilty and couldnt do it) but I seriously am in the mood.... for anyone but him.. i feel regretful of this marriage now and sometimes seriously want a divorce! I've told him how I feel like going out there and getting under someone else cos our intimate life is dead and that's made us argue even more. I can't even do or listen to path anymore cos my mind is into sex24/7. Is how i feel a result of a hormone balance due to the misscarriage? Or am I ever going to go back to normal with him? I know how I feel is wrong, ask me 4 months ago and I would see myself devoted for life but right now i'm a different person?
  9. Guest

    Sikh parent divorce

    Hey guys. Today things escalated really quickly. My mom & dad really can't get along. There's always a problem between them, sometimes money, sometimes trust. My mom called the police & they came home and sorted everything out. Either my mom or dad will file a divorce which is fine with me as i want everyone to be happy, & divorce is the best solution now. I have no harsh feeling towards Baba ji, instead i pray & go to Guruduwara as normal. This happened yesterday. If you guys can guide or advice me through this, i will be grateful. Thanks & WJKK WJKF
  10. When ur patner thoughts doesn't match with urs?
  11. WJKK WJKF If you've been in a similar situation, your advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance. My parents dont get on. No matter how much my mum trys to make my dad happy, he always finds a fault, an excuse to shout and swear and belittle her. He drinks every single day without fail. And once his had a drink, his temper and attitude is just too much. I cant cope anymore. Ive seen it all my life. When i was younger i tried taking my life after seeing my dad hitting my mum. My mums a gem. I just want her to be happy. Its gone on too long. Im scared shes going to do something to herself. I always find myself stuck in the middle of the too. Trying to get my dad to shut up. His just sick in his head. I want nothing to do with him. My mums from punjab, housewife, speaks little english and wouldnt be able to support herself financially. She has nothing to her name. Im still studying. I have nothing to my name. The house, cars, businesses are in my dads name. The only way we can be happy is if my mum divorced him and we moved away. But then how would we support ourselves? We would be on the streets. I know the UK welfare system is pretty good but I dont know how long all that takes. Theres a part of me that just wants to leave everything, abandon my mum and move away. I dont know what to do. She has no family or friends to turn to. Just me. Sangat ji, i need help. All i want is for my mum to be happy.
  12. Waheguru ji ka khasa, waheguru ji ki fateh, Please advise... I have been married for 2 years and am now separated from my husband and going through a divorce. I do not want the separation or divorce, but my husband has been verbally abusive to me which started shortly after our marriage, Before this time, we were a very happy couple. He has also become physically abusive and emotionally blackmails me and really made me ill. He refuses to get help for himself and his family are fully supportive of him and blame me and refuse to acknowledge the wrong doings or problems their son has. His mother was not happy that we got on so well and played a big role in emotionally bullying me and made me very depressed living under her dictorship. I became very ill but no one cared and my husband joined his mother in seeing me as the problem and turned a blind eye to what was happening with me. My family fear for my safety in that house and have helped me to become stronger mentally and rebuild my confidence while I have been back at home, but my husband is still playing mind games and keeps tormenting me with phone calls and texts but does not wish to resolve things. He will not get help for himself and his mother blocks any attempt we make to resolve things. He is always ends up listening to his mum. Despite his issues and the way he has treated me, I still want to make this marriage work but am scared of becoming ill and have no control over him to make him work on the issues and stop listening to his parents. I know divorce is wrong, but what do I do in this situation? Please advise...
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